[valerie23]

ok if my husband (and most of my friends, haha) read this he would totally argue that I am the crazy one! As most of you know, this process can make you crazy at times, the WAITING, the unknowns, the WAITING, the excitement, the WAITING!! Well recently I have decided that my husband is the one who is crazy and not me!

While trying to keep myself from going crazy I bury myself in every adoption related piece of information I can find. I check my e-mail every five minutes, I run to answer the phone on the first ring and OVER-ANALYZE every bit of information my social worker and agency passes along to me. I bore my family and friends with adoption related stories and current time-lines. The fax machine is fired-up and ready to go.... I'm ready, lol!

My husband on the other hand, will chit chat with our social worker for 5-10 minutes about NOTHING, he'll walk casually over to the phone to answer it, he'll spend an hour on the computer- ESPN.com, and can have a conversation without anything adoption related coming up.... what's his problem!?!? There is no doubt he's as excited as I am, but seriously how do they do it??

Hope you are all making big progress this week!! I can't be the only crazy one here.....

[frankiegirl]

Wow, your husband is crazy!!!! I remember the days when I was just like you. My husband could go days without talking about our adoption. Me on the other hand could not go 30 min.
My DH wonders wants to throw the computer out the window already. I am still researching agencies.

[ocracoke]

Valerie,

Just another reason I was glad I was single when going through the adoption process!! LOL I was driving myself crazy, I didn't need the help of a spouse.

Samantha

[valerie23]

Samantha,

LOL, I know I was thinking about you as I was typing that message!!

Val

[ocracoke]

Valerie,

Where do you live in Vermont? It is Vermont, right? My best friend lives just north of Bennington and she is trying to convince me to move there. I have to say I stayed sane by eating more Ben & Jerry's then one would think humanly possible. And I have the figure to prove it. What age/gender are you requesting? When do you expect to turn in your dossier?

Samantha

[valerie23]

Samantha

We are just a few miles south of Montpelier, we love it here!!! Mmmm, Ben & Jerrys-- the factory is 20 minutes away, free ice cream YUM!! We are requesting a boy/girl between the ages of 18-36 months. We submitted our dossier YESTERDAY!!!!!! The waiting child we want so badly is still available (as of yesterday) we just need another week or two (or three) for CIS approval to request her.... The stress is killing me!

[mellaf]

So sorry for jumping in, but I saw Montpelier and I got a lil excited

Valerie: Do you live in Barre or Berlin? I grew up in Northfield, and lived in Barre until 3 years ago when Hubby was offered a job near his hometown in Western Mass. and we've been here ever since. We even lived in Stowe for a summer while we worked at the Ski Area, only 10 minutes from the Ben & Jerry's plant. My cousin used to work for them and got 3 pints a day to take home...Mmmmm

Mel

[Ladyofmoonlight]

Valerie,

First off, congrats on getting your VT clearance! Woohoo! Last I heard/saw you were waiting for it. Here's hoping that I-171H pops up ASAP!

As for the crazy husband thing? I personally thought it was a lazy husband thing! Here I was reading every book on adoption I could get at the library (and toddler parenting as well), then looking up everything, handling paperwork, checking email, staying in contact with the agency, etc, and he'd just sit there and be like "so, any news today?" I'd mention a common term in adoption then have to define it for him. Gah, I just wanted to slap him sometime! Here we are, more than 2 months home with our son, and I'm still online looking at adoption stuff and emailing the agency all the time. At least my husband is a great father, even if he is lazy about adoption paperwork/obsession.

Maybe it's just a man's way of handling things, though. When we first got married we tried to conceive for 6 months. I was on a forum at the time for people who were TTC and when someone got a bad seminalysis back on their husband (absolutley no sperm -- ended up adopting an older child from Russia), everyone on the forum made their husband get seminalyses as well as went to their own doctors to get checked out. I came back fine, everyone else's husbands came back fine (when they handled all the phonecalls to the doctor), and my husband... sat on his butt and refused to call for the results. Just kept saying his doctor would call when they were in and he "didn't want to bug him". It was so frustrating! He's the guy who wants me to call the doctor about every little thing. But it was obvious that a part of it, or even most of it, was him not being able to deal with it. Eventually he did call, 2 weeks later, and found out he's infertile. A second test confirmed it. Funny because he never wanted biokids anyway, I was the one pushing for that but the point is that he simply didn't know how to handle it. During the TTC process he didn't look up anything on charting or timing or potential problems or due dates, and during the adoption process he didn't look up anything on attachment issues or the Hague convention or postplacement fees. I, on the otherhand, was obsessed both times!

Wow, that got long and semi-offtopic. Sorry! Guess I just felt like talking today.

[amyfk]

Best of luck to you! I was definitely like you, I was obsessed with all things adoption-especially going on these forums, waiting for the Sw to call with a referral, etc.
My husband seemed more laid back, not disinterested, but laid back. He went to work, went swimming, hung out with his buddies, etc.
In the end I just think it was the way he coped with the stress. After our child was home and now all the world seems ok, he told me that the process was very stressful for him too.
Best of luck to you with your soon to be child.
Amy K, NJ