[Lori.NH]

Hello ladies, my question to ya'll is;

When you adopt your child, are you planning on changing his/her name?

I am conflicted with this question (not that we've even had a referral yet) because I don't know if it's easier for the child to have an more "normal" American type name or if that's stripping the child of the birth name that his/her parent(s) gave. Originally I was planning that we would keep their birth name as a middle name, but now I don't know if I should change it at all. My gut says to change it about 70% of the time, but there's a little nagging voice saying not to.

I know you all have opinions out there!! Let's hear em!

Thanks a bunch - Lori

[studswife]

We are planning on giving the child a middle name, but keeping the birth name that the child was given by the birth family.

My husband and I figured that the name is the only gift the child will take from thier birth family. That name is special to the family no matter how strange it is to us.

We will plan on using the middle name as his name, but if the child is older and wants to be called by his birth name: so be it.

[olliegirl]

We are waiting to see what the name is and also, who named him. It seems like a lot of Ethiopian names are straight from the Bible as you might expect, therefore they are quite "normal" in our culture. Also, our referral will be for an infant. If the child is abandoned, we will have no way of knowing his birth name and someone from the care center will have named him I guess, so in that case, we wouldn't feel a huge desire to keep it at all.

Anyway, we have a TERRIBLE last name, just trust me on this one . . .it is actually a slang word for make genitalia, so we are extremely cautious when naming our kids. So, if he was named by parents we will keep it some where in his name, and give him one of ours as well, probably to use the name we gave him if the birth name is more different.
Good Luck!
Kelley

[ocracoke]

Before I received my referral I fully intended on changing her name. I wanted to name my child. And then I got the referral and everything changed. She was 18 months and her name was Biset. I learned that her father had relinquished her the day after her mother died. I learned that the name meant "If He gives" which normally is a religious meaning. However, if he (her father) had not given her then then she would not have been my daughter. Too soon and she would have gone to another family, too late and I would have had a different child already. However, I could not decide which of the names I had picked to keep as her middle name so she has 2 middle names.

I use to wonder what it was like for her to have a name that was not "normal" in my society. I wondered what her teachers at the day care center thought. And then I looked at the cubbies at the day care center and realized that her name was no more normal or strange then most of the other kids in the day care. There aren't any Joeys or Suzys in her class. So, at this point I am not too worried about it.

You will know what to do when you get your referral or when you hold your child in your arms. And know -- there is no right or wrong here.

Samantha

[socialbug]

You will know what to do when you hold her for the first time.
We met our daughter in February... and were set on giving her a name that we picked, but were hopeful that her given name would go with it. Her given name is Sidisse, (Si dEE Say) We loved the name Ava, since our son was born 4 years ago... and it seemed to fit perfectly.... Ava Sidisse... and we call her by both names.
It doesn't hurt to toss around a few names that you love, while also keeping an open mind about the name she comes with...
Hope your referral comes soon!