[dk_25]

Hi all!

My wife and I are in the process of adopting a 10-y-o girl from Ethiopia. Her name is Yayehyirad. We are thinking about changing her name to Julianna Marie.

This name has a very symbolic meaning for us. Marie was a name traditionnally given to the youngest girl in my family (and my mother's name). Our three bio daughters all have a first name finishing in "-na", too - Anna, Katherina and Donna.

But this question seems to generate a lot of controversy. We are seeing this name change as an act of "claiming" and "recognizing" our daughter-to-be as one of ours. On the other side, though, there is the question of the age. She has already lived a life under her Ethiopian name...

So, I would like to hear from your personal experiences. Has anyone adopted an older child and changed his or her name? If so, how did he/she react? How did he/she adapt to her new name?

Thanks in advance!

Randy

[ocracoke]

I had fully intended to change my daughter's name when she came home. I had icked a middle name that is associated with my family and picked a first name that I liked. However, I quickly realized that her birth name was really her name.

I am not at all against changing names though. I was placed with my adoptive home at age 7 years. My adoptive parents supported the idea of us changing our names. My sister decided not to but I did. I helped to pick my name and I adjusted quickly. The only problem was that I picked the name my father liked -- not the name I liked. So when I was 25 I changed my name again. People adjust well to name changes. Women do it all the time when they get married. And people do it all the time when they pick nicknames.

Samantha

[Bethany27]

We have often thought about this also. We are almost on the waiting list for our child. We attended an adoption education class and in the class they strongly.....STRONGLY gave their opinion about NOT changing the childs name is they are above the age of one. Their reasons where understandable....It's one of the only thing the child has left to hang on to when they leave their culture, they respond to this name, and bottom line it is who they are. They also talked a lot about the signifigance of the name. A lot of adopted children are given a name that has meaning from their family and I know in Ethiopia many children are actually named after their families......so much is to be considered if you do change the name.

HOWEVER with that being said.......that is someones personal opinion. This should be your personal opinion, and I wouldn't let others sway your desicion. I know that we are not going to make that desicion until we fully meet our child. Mind you we have names picked out, but we'll cross it when we meet the little guy and his culture.

Hope this helps....

[adoptethiopiablog]

Here's what I wrote about this topic--part one discusses options, and part two tells our story.
Ethiopia Adoption Blog - Naming Your Child, Part One

Ethiopia Adoption Blog - Naming Your Child, Part Two

Mary, mom to many

[new_day]

I'll just chime in and say that Mary's posts on her blog echo my beliefs. It seems for a 10 year old girl in a new country and family her name would be one thing to give her a sense of security. She always has the option of changing it when she is 18.

[teranga]

It's definitely something which people have strong opinions about. Some people are convinced they have the only right answer, and others on the other side of the issue are sure they do.

My personal opinion is, with a child that age, that it is a decision which should be made with the child. Ask her. Some kids really want to change their name--they want to have a name which fits in with their new lives, and it isn't the "only link" for them with their past. Others do not want their name changed.

I don't believe there is a "right" answer which can be found. I do believe that it is something you should talk to her about. At that age, I would not impose a name change on her w/o her consent...rather, without her really wanting that. But she may well want that...

Also, again just personal opinion here, if she does decide to change her name, I would still keep her Ethiopian name as a middle name (even if it means having 2 middle names). To me, this sends her a message that you do honor her bio parents and her identity in Ethiopia...just doesn't have to be a first name.

Teranga

[tenne]

I think there is no reason to rush into any decision. Wait until you have your girl home, her english is good enough to understand and then decide.
We weren't sure what we would name our daughter, keep her original name or make it a second name. After having her home, we know that we would keep her original name. That is how she identified herself and all her memories were with that name.
That being said, all her memories were good ones and there was no identifing a bad past life with that name.
I suggest waiting and seeing.
Tenne