[froggygirl30]

Hello!!!

My husband and I are looking into international adoption and are looking at several countries; China,Vietnam,Ethiopia.

My husband is dead set on china because he says he likes the chinese culture, I like ethiopia because I want a yonger child than what they can offer in China so I get more time to bond with my child and because I love african Culture. So I have some questions for some experinced ethiopian adopters:

> What is the average time from getting your application to having your child in your hands?

> What is the average cost for one infant child (under 9 mo) including travel? (What did you pay?)

> How do I convince my husband that Africa is a good country to adopt from?

> Are there any websites where my husband can learn more about african culture?

> My husband has diabetes, will that effect our chances of getting a child?

> What is the difference between to available girls and boys infants in africa? (More girls than boys? More boys than girls?)

> What are the dangers of traveling to africa and would it be safe to bring my 15 (by then 16) yr old daughter with us to africa?

Thanks for your help!!

[teranga]

Hi. I'll answer the questions I can..

1. The average time is under a year, generally well under a year. Factors determining time are things out of your and your agency's control (like BCIS fingerprint clearance. some states do this very quickly, others take months), what age child you are adopting, what agency you are using, etc. But if you count on a year you will probably be happily surprised. We adopted an infant boy (home 02/05) and the entire process took just under 6 months, start to finish.

2. Cost again is going to vary. The biggest variable here is the agency you use. There are now 5 agencies permitted to do adoptions to the U.S. from Ethiopia and the costs vary quite a bit (several thousand dollars). Also, if you choose to escort it will be a different cost than if you travel. If you do travel, how you like to travel (first class, local cheap places, etc) will largely determine what is spent. We spent $11,000 excluding travel. I have an Excel spreadsheet of every single cost and when in the process it was paid, if you're interested. PM me if you'd like to see it. [Edited To Remove Agency discussion] We traveled but I did not include it b/c again--HOW you travel will weigh heavily into your costs there. The other costs involved are pretty stable.

3. I don't know about this one but, having lived in Senegal for 2 1/2 years and now having adopted from Ethiopai (and having done travel through other African nations) I will caution you against thinking about "african" culture. Africa is a huge continent and the culture varies tremendously, just as culture in "The Americas" (all the countries in North and South America) vary tremendously. Ethiopia has its own specific culture, languages (some language groups do cross borders of course), and history. I would suggest looking into books on Ethiopian history/culture (and there are MANY available).

4. If your husband's diabetes is under control, that should not be an issue.

5. There are healthy children of both genders waiting for families above the age of about 3. For infants, there are more boys than girls available (as is the case everywhere in the world except China partly b/c 80-90% of adopting parents worldwide request girls..). However, the wait for girls is generally not long either. For our son, we waited one month and those waiting for girls waited about 3 months. Sometimes more infants come in than others, so at times there is no wait at all. The longest wait I've heard of for infant girls is 6 months.

6. You can check the State Dept. website concerning travel warnings. Addis Ababa is a modern, cosmopolitan city and is the HQ for the African Union, and the African HQ for the UN. There are many businesspeople and NGOs working there. There is a hotel (the Sheraton) which is one of the best hotels in the world. And there are many local places with more local "flavor" as well, depending on your needs. (We stayed at the Ghion, which is Ethiopian Gov't owned, and it was more than adequate). We felt very safe in Addis (and outside Addis). People are friendly and do not hassle you (I was MUCH more hassled in Senegal!). I'd say the same precautions as anywhere in the world: don't go out alone at night, know where you're going, don't congregate in places Americans frequent as terrorism anywhere is a possibility. Those kinds of basic things. One other thing of note is that there was an election recently and there was some localized violence following it (by the University). It is over now, but could possibly flare up again when official results are announced. You would be traveling way past that time though, and I do know of several people who are traveling right at that time and are not concerned about it. State Dept updates woudl keep you aprised of that situation. Plenty of people take their kids w/them when they go. We didn't (our bio kids are 3 and 4), but if I had it to do over again, we would have.

Hope that's helpful!

Teranga

[diamondj]

[Edited To Remove Agency discussion] We saw the first photo of our daughter in April 04 and scooped her up in July that year, when she was 6 mos old (we had already been well through the home study process by the time we decided to go international, so I'm not counting that time).

Our costs were in line with Teranga's, above. We opted for the Sheraton, which by US standards is moderately priced ($250/night) and is VERY comfortable. We also brought our then-4-year-old, and the pool there was a lifesaver. That goes to bringing your teenage child. We thought it was very important for our son to be a part of his sister's entry into our lives, and he was a real hero through all the frustrations that come with long-distance international travel. His child's enthusiasm really kept us focused on what we were doing.

[Jensboys]

All agency specific discussions must be done in private. Discussing agency specific timelines processes, dossier preparation time, application process time, referral times and fees fall under this guideline.[/b]

[hilzim]

I just wanted to add that my brother and I traveled in July and Ethiopia is definately somewhere I will re-visit when our children are older. The people were some of the nicest I have ever met and I never once felt fear and we walked around ALOT.
We stayed in our agencys guestshouse which cost us about $50 a night. We had two rooms so my brother could have a room. If it is jusst a couple, it would be $35. That included breakfast. There was a small restaurant really close that we went to a lot where you could get a meal for $1 and the food was great! We like the guest house experience since we could go through everything with others going through the same thing.
I would definately take your teenage daughter. It is a great experience for kids and will show her another part of the world that is very different from us. It really put me in my place.
Good luck with your decision and if you have any questions, feel free to PM me.
Hilda

[amberariano]

Hi, my name is Amber and my husband and I are just getting started with the adoption process. We have decided to adopt from Ethiopia and have a lot of questions. I know you cannot discuss agencies but you seem very knowledgeable and was wondering if you could email me about where to start and what agency you went with. Thank you so much. Amber Ariano