[Lissa]

Hi, Lissa from the China forum again. Hubby and I are currently adopting a daughter from China but we are seriously considering adopting our second child from Ethiopia and I have a question. In Chinese adoption (while not everyone agrees on this issue), many of the parents will give their children Chinese middle names. These names are sometimes a name their birthparents left for them. Though this is infrequent as giving your child up for adoption is illegal in China. They don't often leave a name out of fear of being discovered. Sometimes it will be their orphange assigned name. Or sometimes it will be a name chosen by the aparents. What is customary in Ethiopian adoption? What are some of the names you are chosing for your children?

[hilzim]

In Ethiopia, the children are given their fathers first name as their last names. Since the children that we are adopting had easy names to say and spell, we are going to keep their first names and give them their parents first names for their middle names.

[Lissa]

So you know who thier birth parents are in Ethiopia? Do you get to meet them or stay in contact with them? That's very different from China where the children are left to be found. I think it would be wonderful to be able to share information and communication with the birth parents of our potential a-child.

What are some of your children's names?

[teranga]

Hi Lissa,
The staff at the agency run orphanages try to collect as much information as they can about the children coming in to care. Obviously, the older child will know his/her name and it will be up to the adoptive family and/or adopted child to decide if they will change that name.

The infants are typically either found abandoned or are turned over in the hospital, so sometimes they will know the name of, if not the child, at least the mother. Often they don't have any of that information. When they don't know the name, the orphanages will assign a name to the child. Most people I know who have adopted a baby from Ethiopia keep the Ethiopian name as a middle name. This is what we did as well. We chose a first name for him, and his Ethiopian name is his middle name. His name did not come from the orphanage though--it was the name of the man who found him, and he passed the name on to our son. The name given to our son by the man who found him was Bekele, which means "one who has grown or come into being." Could there be a more perfect name?!

Pam

Pam

[hilzim]

Hi Lissa,

We got lucky to know the kids last name and a little more information about them since their Uncle was the one who brought them to the orphanage. I would say that the majority of the kids in the orphange have little or no family left. Most of them are true orphans of death. Our little ones parents both died of AIDS and their uncle had taken in them and their two older brothers (who are still living with him). I think he probably just couldn't keep all four of them. So our kids came with a little info. There will be some kids that you will be able to know some of their past and some that have no relatives at all and no known history. It is really sad.

We are keeping our kids names since they are Million and Genet. We think they are neat names and ones that our bio kids can say and spell. Then like I said we will give them their parents name for a middle name to keep some history with them.

Good luck to you and adding an Ethiopian child to your family also is great. They are so beautiful!! But, what child isn't?

Hilda

[Colorbind love]

My sister's name is Tarik. She came home at 2.5 (guesstimated age) and my parents kept her Ethiopian name. I don't think anyone knows where it came from originally. She was found in a cardboard box in the capital and the hospital turned her over to the orphanage. Her esstimated age at the time she was found was 9-15 months. So my parents were told to pick a birthdate for her.

Given the circumstances, its likely that the orphanage or hospital staff named her. But, my parents decided since she was a toddler to keep her name and her heritage with it.

Many of the children in orphanages throughout Africa are there due to HIV issues. Since there is a HUGE social stigma against those dying from HIV/AIDS, its not uncommon to abandon the children so that the stigma doesn't follow the child.

I would imagine that where the child's name comes from is going to depend upon the unique story of the child in question. Sometimes children are abandoned and sometimes relatives bring them in. Since relinquishing children isn't illegal, as it is in China, when relatives are overwhelmed and relinquishing them, they will often bring them in themselves.

Our son from W. Africa was brought in by his Uncle, whom we were able to establish contact with after we brought our son home. Our son's first parents had died due to war, and while his uncle was raising all of his siblings, he brought our son into the orphanage because he was deathly ill with malaria. The other children were not so sick and they remain with the uncle. Our son was relinquished and brought to America. His older brother does NOT consider this a fair situation and begs to come to America even now, btw.