[dustspot]

I need some help! My husband and I adopted a 2 year old girl that had prenatal drug exposure. before the adoption was even final, I found out I was pregnant with twins and we got everyone in the same year!

We are having huge problems with the adopted girl who is now 7. For one thing, her sleep issues are awful and effect her moods. I am not quite sure what to do about that.

Second, she is completely disrespectful to me, the mom, and blows up at the slightest request. she is much better for my husband, but he rules with an iron fist, and as soon as he is gone, she is twice as bad. she is on ADD medication, and she is completely out of control without it. the doctor also put her on prozac but i haven't really seen any improvement like I was hoping for.

I am so tired and terrified of what the future will hold for us since she is only 7. my other children are getting the shaft since she sucks up all my energy. it's hard for me to tell anyone, even my husband, that i wish we hadn't adopted her, but that is how i feel. no one really understands. any advice at all would be appreciated.

[lucyjoy]

First, post this in special needs as you will find lots of parents there that will understand what you are feeling.
Has she been evaluated for attachment disorder? I ask because children with this problem tend to treat their mothers more cuelly then their fathers.

Not sure what your psychiatrist's diagnosis is, but it seems from your description that it would make more sense to use an anti-psychotic and/or a mood stabilizer then an anti-depressant. He may have good reason, just something to look into.

It might also help to look at some of what she is eating. Often changing a child's diet can help with behaviors. My son reacts crazily to certain food additives.

Hope you can find some answers.

[leatherette]

Have you had any success with interventions for the sleep issues? It sounds like that could be the place to start. It is hard to go anywhere positive without enough sleep.....

Best wishes to you and your daughter. You will get through this.

[greenmama]

Have you tried Melatonin for the sleep issues? It has made a world of difference for our 9 year old with ADHD.

[dustspot]

It worked great for a few months and now it doesn't seem to help much!

[lifeinashoe]

Your story sounds very familiar to me even though my daughter came to me at three months of age. We see an attachment and trauma therapist and DD was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. We have gotten a lot of help and are feeling very encouraged. A good place to start is reading "The Connected Child" by Karyn Purvis.

Melatonin does often need to be increased eventually. It is very safe and fairly large doses can be given. I use it with great success with two of mine.