[mommytoEli]

are you raising a child born exposed to drugs? how old are they now and are you experiencing any problems that you relate to the drug exposure? are you surprised at how it has effected your child? has it effected them more or less than you thought it would?

my middle son is 6. born addicted to meth. he had many problems as a baby, but now is a normal healthy child with adhd. his doctor says it is most likely related to his exposure, but i hate to even call adhd for him a disability....because while it does hinder his ability to sit in a chair 8 hours a day at school...i believe it is also the reason that he has an eye for detail which makes him an amazing artist. ......and the reason he is so smart because he never stops asking questions about things. after what his doctors have told me over the years, i am pleasantly surprised by his behaviors and ability levels. i am glad that with a little home school and some non-traditional takes on schooling (i.e. allowing him to sing his school reader while dancing...lol. )he is performing at grade level with no other intervention. i can't believe it! i wonder if things will stay the same, continue to get better, or get worse as he gets older.

what about you? i'd love to hear more stories about what drug exposed children are like as they grow up.

[hopefulfor1more]

I have three and a half year old twins born addicted to coccaine and they were premature. After the initial withdrawals and feeding issues, they are absolutely fine. They are smart, creative little boys. They maybe a little more active than average, at their age it is hard to tell. The research I read when they came to me said that in the case of coccaine, most kids showed normal functioning by 5 years old.

[mypov]

My understanding is that there is a whole spectrum of results that could occur- from either nothing to lots of problems.

I also believe that in many instances we underestimate the power of nurture (in the nature vs. nurture debate). Children who were exposed prenatally to dangerous substances, then perhaps raised by neglectful families are much more likely to experience problems.

When a child spends his first few years in a stable non-neglectful environment where parents are able to intervene as problems arise, are going to fare much better.

My three children were all drug exposed. My two older girls I received at ages 4.5 and 3, just exiting the critical first three years of brain development. My son was also born with drugs in his system and exposed to meth all through the first trimester. He is leaps and bounds further than my girls were at this age because we raised him since 4 days old.

Neglect after the prenatal exposure is going to intensify whatever the damage the drugs did. We need to get these children on the right path asap after they are born to be able to help them reach the highest degree of success they can.

As far as being a teenager- my only concern with my children is that they will experiment with drugs which could very likely lead to a heavy addiction. Otherwise, I have no reason to doubt they will continue to improve throughout their childhood.

Just some thoughts!

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by mommytoEli

are you raising a child born exposed to drugs? how old are they now and are you experiencing any problems that you relate to the drug exposure? are you surprised at how it has effected your child? has it effected them more or less than you thought it would?

my middle son is 6. born addicted to meth. he had many problems as a baby, but now is a normal healthy child with adhd. his doctor says it is most likely related to his exposure, but i hate to even call adhd for him a disability....because while it does hinder his ability to sit in a chair 8 hours a day at school...i believe it is also the reason that he has an eye for detail which makes him an amazing artist. ......and the reason he is so smart because he never stops asking questions about things. after what his doctors have told me over the years, i am pleasantly surprised by his behaviors and ability levels. i am glad that with a little home school and some non-traditional takes on schooling (i.e. allowing him to sing his school reader while dancing...lol. )he is performing at grade level with no other intervention. i can't believe it! i wonder if things will stay the same, continue to get better, or get worse as he gets older.

what about you? i'd love to hear more stories about what drug exposed children are like as they grow up.

Both my kids were born exposed to unknown amounts of both crack cocaine and alcohol (and I am assuming other things too at this point). We have never really been able to decipher the true story of what happened and when. Both my kids are high energy but I doubt that they are more at this point than others at their age. DD is 5 and quite intelligent, thoughtful and there has never been any sign that she has effects from the prenatal abuse.

DS just turned 3 and is a wild and crazy kiddo! He went through withdrawal and in the beginning his prognosis was quite guarded. It was a scary first year as we both learned more about all that had happened to him before birth and watched him struggle with illness after illness. But now, he is completely caught up with everything and although he takes tons of energy to manage his attitude, we are fairly certain that some of it is related to genetics as there is some violent behavior in his birth parent's history. We don't know if it's related to the prenatal abuse or not. But we were thrilled to learn he would have no referrals after he was assessed at three years. At this point, it seems that he is progressing well. But I admit that I am constantly trying to make sure that we aren't missing anything with him as sometimes daily life is a struggle with some defiant behavior. But overall, it seems at this point, both kids are doing well. Only time will tell if there will be anything he'll have to work through.

[Barksum]

My 4 adopted children were all prenatally exposed. Two were born addicted.

Our oldest adopted child was exposed to unknown amounts of at least alcohol and meth. No real documentation available. He was also neglected during the first year. He's doing well. He does have some ADD kinds of issues, and was formally dx'd with attachment and sensory integration problems. At age 11 he is doing well, is at grade level academically, and is in general a very happy, healthy little boy. I do feel that he likely has FASD and that the ADD would fall under that umbrella.

Second adopted child was born addicted to heroin and exposed to other drugs, including alcohol. He was significantly delayed the first year, and had a significant speech delay, along with reflux and some food sensitivities. He continues to be a bit developmentally delayed. He is now 8 and does pretty well in school, but he is not reading yet. I think overall he functions somewhere between the developmental ages of 5 and 6. I suspect he also would be dx'd with FASD if we went through the evals for that.

Third adopted child was born addicted to meth and exposed to everything else, including alcohol. He had some significant delays the first year and reflux problems. At age 5 I would describe him as a bit ADHD. Ok, more than a bit. He's pretty wild at times and we struggle to deal with his level of noise and activity. He also has some food issues although the reflux has resolved. He's often pretty happy, especially when things are going along to his liking. He is learning to not throw things or have a screaming melt down when he is told 'no'. I think he (we!!) have made some progress as he doesn't have a melt down EVERY day now.

Youngest adopted child is 4 and doing well. Don't know what she was exposed to, but suspect some level of alcohol and know tobacco. Unsure of any other things, but suspect.... Seems to be on target, for the most part. We've had to do some work on attachment with this one, due to a few moves during the first year in foster care, but overall is doing well and meeting expected milestones appropriately.

Generally my kids are happy and play well, are social and engaging in an appropriate way. They are progressing and haven't a plateau in development. So far, anyway.

I do wonder if one or two of them will be totally independent as adults, but...we don't expect that they'll be out on their own at age 18 anyway, so we'll see how they're doing when they get to their 20's. We have time to work toward those goals now and we do parent with that in mind. (learning to live independently)

[sheababy]

Well, DD only just turned 2 and was born cocaine positive. I believe there was a period where bmom didn't use due to being incarcerated (maybe the 5th-8th month). DD had no signs of withdrawal. The nurses at the hospital said they would never had guessed she was exposed unless they had the test results. She actually has always been a great sleeper-5-6 hour stretches as a newborn and through the night by 3 months.

She is EXTREMELY active, tons of energy. She is also really advanced. She speaks full sentences, sings songs, knows several numbers and colors. She also wants to do everything herself. She will observe you doing something and try to imitate it. She will keep trying until she gets it-which she does 90% of the time. She has understood fairly complex directions since she started walking at 11 months. She has extreme attention to detail and will let you know if something is out of place or not normal (such as when the TV cut out during a storm recently or she sees a piece of trash at the park). She's my first and only child so I'm basing this on comments from other mothers and her teachers.

Best of all, she is happy-always smiling and a joy to be around

[joskimo]

dd is 4 and was exposed to crack, cigarettes, and "light alcohol". She is adhd and sensory. I think she's on the high end of the spectrum, has a lot of agression issues. But I'm really optimistic about her future. She's a wild one but smart as a whip and her memory is to die for.

[111holmes]

We are looking to adopt a 7 yr old little boy, whom we just found out today, they believe he was exposed to some kind of drugs . He is very very ADHD, and now today the SW tell us they believe he has frontal lobe brain damage, has anyone ever had this happen. THey have never been able to get his ADHD Meds undercontrol and now they believe this is why. Anyone can tell me a little about this? We are so upset at the thought of brain damage, it really has made us not sure if we should go forward. We have not meet him yet, and just don't know what we are getting into. Seems we have had so much go wrong with this adoption from day one. Any advice??????????

[Drywall]

111Holmes....your concern is understandable. Particularly due to the fact that you are hearing about a child with frontal lobe brain damage.

A physician has made an evaluation in terms of that diagnosis. It would be appropriate to know how the brain damage occurred. Secondly, how extensive is it and what the long term out look for the child will be.

If you don't understand the medical answers you receive, a chat with your physician might be helpful.

Once you have all the answers and you are satisfied that there is no further information, you will be able to decide what the next step will be.

I wish you the best.

[Nevada Jen]

Our DS was born with pot and maybe heroin on board (not clear on the heroin because those results might be from pain meds during labor). He is super advanced physically and very very beautiful. He has speech pronounciation issues because he is tongue tied. BUt speech therapy (started when he was 3) is helping with that. Other than those things he is startingly average. He starts pre-k in the fall and I am sure we could get him reading before that if we tried or he will just read naturally by kndergarten. He's not overly hyper or agressive but he is extremely affected by criticism (we are talking meltdowns from minor corrective comments) but I suspect that's just personality.

Holmes, my dd has frontal lobe damage from a stroke and the effects are pretty scary. As it was explained to me, the frontal lobe is the area that basically makes us human. Its not degenerative, so what you see is what you get. But the fact that someone is suggesting that means there is something serious about his personality probably.

[111holmes]

Thanks Nevada Jen for that!! I guess I know it but just need to hear it from someone else. These mothers that do drugs should have to see what it does to these children. The long term effects are just unreal!! Our hearts are broken over this and whats so sad it all could have been pervented.
Now the guilt of not accepting this placement hits us hard. We had to be picked by their SW for this placement and I believe very strong in the Lord and believe he had a Hand in us being picked for these children. Now, I will always wonder if we could have helped them.

[Nevada Jen]

I am really sorry you feel guilt over this. I didn't want to pressure but unless you were specifically looking to adopt a high special needs child, the state admitting before placement that they can't get the ADHD under control and that the child has frontal lobe damage is a sign that this is an extremely high needs child. I know that no matter what I do for my DD I can't make sure any better. The damage is irreversible. My DD's damage happened to make her a lovely overly sweet child, but the docs were telling us that her most likely result from the stroke would be a violent screaming child. I don't know that I would have been able to live with her if that was the result.

I guess my point is, there is a child that is right for you and perhaps the Lord just wanted you to know that this was not your child by alerting you to conditions that he knew you would not accept. So that your heart would be open and ready for the child that is right for you.

[ScrapMonkey]

Almost all of our foster kids have been drug exposed. We have had nothing but positive experiences with kids exposed to meth or opiates, we would not hesitate to accept a child in our home exposed to those drugs. We had a horrible experience with a beautiful newborn exposed to cocaine and we will never accept a cocaine-exposed newborn again, we know that is beyond our capabilities.

It's been our experience that the OTHER things tend to be larger disadvantages to a child than meth or opiate exposure: the neglect, lack of attachment, multiple moves, etc. We have two boys with the same birthmother, same substances. One is pretty laid back, calm, can't find the shoes on his feet if he tried, couch potato and homebody. The other is SUPER high-energy, very busy, always on the go, very aggressive, crazy smart and outgoing. I don't blame/credit the drug exposure for any of it, I think it's personality.

That said, one of our adopted sons has RAD. Everytime he cycles into the behaviors or has a particularly bad episide, I am bitter about the bios. Bitter.

[leatherette]

My daughter was exposed to crack 5 times a week throughout the preganancy, pk/cigs/day, and a tentative diagnosis of FAS (can't be definitive b/c mom denies drinking, but has many of the features.)
She is above average in intelligence/verbal skills, very gifted physically despite almost being labelled failure to thrive. She has sensory processing disorder, life-threatening food allergies, and had reflux severely as a babe. She has eczema and asthma.

She is a really sensitive kid who also notices everything, can be called hypervigilant. She is powerful in her defense of herself. Beautiful.

[mommytoEli]

it is so interesting how they can all turn out so differently, isn't it?