[Wisdom]

Our agency has told us of a baby who's already born (2 months old). Birthmom said she used cocaine & marijuana until she found out she was pregnant (at about 6-7 weeks) and did not use again. But she and baby were positive for cocaine & marijuana at delivery. (She said she didn't do drugs again until the weekend she delivered.) We were looking to adopt a baby w/no drug exposure or very little. We're considering this situation because the baby has shown no typical signs of withdrawal (jittery, etc). Actually the baby may be more calm than most so could that be a concern? Birthweight was good and he's still developing physically well. However we're still just not sure. Baby is in care right now until adopted and we'll talk to the caregiver tonight. The agency is going to give us medical records on the baby as well. Do you know of any specific questions we should ask the caregiver? Baby has been with her since born so she should know a lot. We know they want this baby adopted so can we trust her (and agency) to give us the truth? Any other input you can give would be most appreciated. Thanks.

[nawlinsmom]

It is hard to know what to ask, my son was born addicted to Methadone and we had to taper him off of that and Phenobarbital, he had no signs of typical withdrawal. I got medical records had them reviewed by a neonatologist friend but in the end he said to me "there are no guarantee's, you have to go with what you feel you can handle". Well I knew I was in love with this child regardless, and it has been the best decision in my life. Yes we have problems, but so what, he has since been diagnosed with Hepatitis C and had speech delays and is very hyper but I would not trade the experiences, the joy and the love he has brought in to my life these past five years for anything. I hope you find peace with your decision. Read everything you can through web sites and prepare, be aware of the worse. In looking back on my situation I was very uneducated and I thought I knew a lot about the situation when I entered in to it, but now I know I knew very little. I think the main things I would ask would be normal questions, how does he sleep, eat, does he have a time of the day that he seems more upset? Patterns were a big thing with my little guy, he was like clock work with everything, eating, crying, a lot of yawning, love to be held tightly and bundled, he also would creep up and down my body when he was held, he did not sleep well until he was over 3 years old. Until you experience it; I think it is hard to understand, at least this has been my experience. Good Luck.

[marykath]

I completely agree with what the doc said in the above post: There are no guarantees.
My two daughters were both drug-exposed. My oldest tested positive for meth at birth, her bmom used heavily and was using with friends the night of the delivery. Out daughter had reflux as a baby (common with drug exposure) and slight shakes just after birth, but no other problems - at least not that we knew of. Now, at 5, she has some mild sensory issues, but no problems with attention, school, etc. - at least so far.
My youngest was said to have been exposed to cocaine and meth twice during the pregnancy (yeah, right!), but did not test positive at birth. She spent the first several months of her life in her birth home. She's 3, and we have struggled with attachment, sensory integration and with impulsivity, hyperactivity and an unpredictible temper (to put it mildly!). For her, routine is very important. Eat lunch 30 minutes later than usual, and you'll put her in a tailspin. Also a common theme among drug-exposed kids.
Still, they are the light of my life and I would not trade the experience of parenting them for the world. Our youngest, especially, has come such a long way and we are so proud of her. But there have been some difficult days....
Back when we only had our oldest, I said I would adopt another drug-exposed baby in a heartbeat - that they weren't that much different than other infants. Now that we have our youngest, I realize that isn't always the case.
I would ask the things you would ask about any other child: sleep schedule (some drug-exposed babies sleep a lot, I'm told...then, later in life, they have sleep difficulties); feeding schedule; temperment; etc. But, at two months, I am not sure you could tell much. You might want to ask to read the hospital records from the birth, if possible. We read them in the case of our oldest, and they were illuminating. Oh, and I think it's a good thing to ask about the apgar test all babies are given at birth, although I am not sure if that is a predictor of the future. And exposure to Hep C and HIV, also, because of the drug use.
It's not easy to make these decisions, I know. Especially if you have limited info. But, there's no crystal ball. Go with your heart, and what you feel you can handle.

[Shai's Mom]

I'm not sure how helpful I can be, but here goes.

Both my sons were drug-exposed in utero.

The older one came home to us at age 7 1/2 months. His birthmother was imprisoned for most of her pregnancy, so her access to drugs was a bit more limited. It is known that she "used" though, whatever she could get her hands on. My son was clean at birth, but had light birth-weight and was overall tiny. His APGAR scores were excellent, which I was told by a professor of pediatric medicine, is a very good sign for healthy development.

He walked early, was a little whirlwind as a toddler and until now is physically extraordinary well coordinated. He is now 6 and in kindergarten. He is smart, very healthy and his behaviour has changed drastically from an over-active toddler that couldn't sit still for a minute to a "normal" little boy that can easily sit still when required. A few weeks ago he started an art class, where he has to stay put and focussed for 2 hours, following instructions, etc. He simply loves it.

My little one is now 2 years and 5 months. He was born with a cocaine addicition and had to undergo withdrawal. He was born slightly premature, weighing in at about 4 lbs, 8oz, but very high APGAR scores. He was a very quiet, serene buddha-like baby, seemed almost "slow" in physical development, until age 7 - 8 months, when he did everything from rolling over to standing up within weeks. The joke is that Buddha took off and Ghengis Khan took his place.
My little one had small twitches until age 4 months. These could have been mini seizures from the withdrawal, or just the little spasms babies sometimes have before going to sleep.
He had to have a surgery to correct "lazy eye" in both his eyes, luckily that seemed to be a success.
He was physically in the lowest percentile until age 16 months when he all over sudden started shooting up in height and weight, and is now a little bit above average in height and medium in weight.
He has developed into a normal, active toddler, loves stories, music and working with his little hands (play-dough, crayons, stickers, glueing etc).

So far so good. Both my sons are normal, no hearing/vision/developmental problems that have been discovered until now, very healthy.

They are the light of my life and I am so glad we took the chance, even though we were against adopting drug exposed children.

[riverview]

try contacting Children's Research Triangle in Chicago, they do alot of research on children exposed to drugs inutero and adoption. They are a wonderful resource. The other would be Kennedy Krieger Institute in Baltimore Maryland

[shy_bear]

I have a 6mth old whose mom tested + at delivery for cocaine. He tested -. She says that she smoked marijuana and drank during the pg. We will prob never know the extent of what was used.
He had high APGAR numbers at birth, was a tiny guy, but did not require any intervention at delivery. He is slightly delayed. He is in PT and is starting OT next week. If you would have asked me 10 yrs ago when we adopted our first child if I would have taken this situation I would have said heck no without a moments hesitation. Thank heavens our views have changed!!! He is the greatest baby in the world!!! Sure we have some issues, he has reflux and he is jittery and jerky in his movements, but when he smiles at me none of that matters. Only you and your spouse know what you can handle; good luck to you on making your decision!!!

[mylovely_H]

I have a little girl I have had since 2 1/2 months old she was exposed to different drugs from meth to crack cocaine, prescription pills, etc. I did ask alot of questions and went from doctor to doctor asking them,I am sure I didn't cover every little question but I soon found out they don't have alot of answers and every case is different. As I have seen above they are some similar problems my little one has went through and still is and things she has not. What amazed me is I learnt something tonight reading the post from nawlinsmom that gave me some hope that she will hopefully sleep all night soon. She has not slept all night since she was 6 months old it started out every hr. then at 7 months old every 2 hrs. She is now 2 1/2 years old the longest stretch was 6 hours for 1 week then it all went back to the way it was every 2 hrs. Doctors could not tell me why and nothing they could do. Try this and that and just 2 months ago I talked again to doctor and said let her cry it out again that didn't work first time and will give her sleep medicine. Guess what I said no because my "H" is just like this and I know that is not going to help her. I guess what my post is really about is..... read all you can I did but in the end you will have most of the answers to your own questions because I learnt that doctors do not have all the answers not even the best ones do. I am still to this day looking for answers to some my own questions I have had tha no one can answer. Then you have the questions that come up that you couldn't think to ask now! I say like another one said if you think in your heart that you can handle this great do it I say. I took my little girl then asked questions later why? I felt I had enough Love to overcome anything that was threw at me with her. It has been difficult at times but that was when no one could tell me why she had these problems and what I could do to help her. That was and still is the most difficult thing for me when I couldn't and sometimes still can't help her. As for her.... she is the loveliest girl I will ever encounter! She brings alot of love and smiles and that is something you have an answer too and in the end that is all that counts! To me that is. Hope that helped you. I do think you should follow your heart I did and what a reward it was for me!

[Shai's Mom]

JAMA -- Abstract: Growth, Development, and Behavior in Early Childhood Following Prenatal Cocaine Exposure: A Systematic Review, March 28, 2001, Frank et al. 285 (12): 1613

This is an article that deals with in-utero exposure to cocaine. Apparently cocaine doesn't have the catastrophic impact on babies as it was thought.

[mom2jen]

Hi, I read your message and just wanted to try to help you out a little bit. I have adopted a son who was crack exposed and fetal alcohol. As you know they can either be real fussy or real passive.I would ask his caregiver if this baby sleeps excessively,does this baby make good eye contact? Does this baby seem to stiffen up when held or touched, does the baby seem to enjoy being cuddled? Or is this baby fussy and hard to please? I would also try to find out other history such as did the mom drink as well,cuz alot of the moms that do drugs also drank with their babies as well. That will be some very important info for you. I hope this helps.