[Dmommab]

Zack came to live with us at 2 days old. He tested positive for cocaine & marijuana at birth. His adoption was final more than 2 years ago. He was a very difficult baby & cried non-stop for AT LEAST the first 6 months. I held him or carried him in a baby carrier ALL THE TIME! Now he is 4 years 3 months old & his behaviors are HORRIBLE! He throws things (toys, etc) at people when he is angry, cries & screams if things don't go exactly his way, kicks & hits people (including me). We have tried everything we can think of - time outs, time ins, even spanking once. NOTHING works! Where can we go from here to figure out what is going on? I'm hoping it's a stage he is going thru but honestly things have been progressing this direction since he was a baby & I just am not sure where to turn for help. Any suggestions or ideas? THANKS!

[mommytoEli]

start with your peds doctor. they should be able to refer you to a psych and to your local early childhood intervention program. i took my son, 4 next week, a few months back, & when ethan screamed and jumped off the table and hid under my chair laughing hysterically...holding onto the legs and wouldn't come back out....(*insert picture of me mortified HERE*) the doctor told me in the office he was adhd, which is apparently really common with drug exposed children. i got a referral to the local regional center and the psychologist for an eval. in the end, i just knew their solution would be to medicate my kid....and I just wasn't ready for it...call it denial (not to knock meds, b/c i do have 1 child on meds and it is VERY successful....i just wanted to give him a chance first)....so i completely changed his diet....and it has helped alot. if i'm being honest, i know that once he starts kindergarten, i will be right back in the office, getting the psych referral. anyway..all that to say, start with the dr, and go from there.....once your child has an eval and diagnosis, your school district will also be able to help you with a special education or 504 plan that will provide needed services for your son, including preschool and therapy if needed. If you get the diagnosis and need help navigating your school system, please pm me. I used to be a teacher, and dh is an assistant principal, and we have a dd with a 504 plan for her disability...so we know how to "work" the system.