[Howdy]

I'm getting a foster placement that is 4 yrs old and not potty trained, supposedly the current placement (for the past month) has had some success, but I was told to expect the child to regress.

How do I handle it? How do I potty train a child? Eek, I never anticipated this! I've only had older kids (7 yrs) before.

Should I read books about training littler kids and follow the same steps? Or is there anything different with a slightly older child?

Thanks!!

[Howdy]

Eek, I've gotten no replies! Anyone?

Also, does anyone know how old of child fits into a toddler bed? Would a typical-size 4 yr old fit in one okay? I was looking at them at the store and it sure would make more space in the room if the child could use a toddler bed.

[Happy123]

As for the toddler bed, it depends on the child's size. My four year old is only in a 4T clothing (barely) and could use a toddler bed. My nine year old outgrew her toddler bed at age 2 to 3. She is now 5 ft 1 in. So, it really depends.

As for potty training, I have no clue. We also have a four year old who is dev. delayed and I am trying to get him to sit on the toliet every 15 min. BUT, it is a lot of work. I can not wait to see others response.
Happy123

[ajjhmf]

Hi Howdy,

Sorry for the delay, I didn't see this one.

J was 4 when he came home and not yet trained. His foster mom 'said' he was trained, but I don't buy it. Anyway here's my advice. Wait. Trying during trasistion will be torturous. J had so many accidents the first few days, we just put him back in diapers. He didn't mind as he was so delayed developmentally. Once he was more settled, we started retaining him. It took a while. I posted the whole process on another thread. He was nearly 5 by the time he was day and night trained.

As for the toddler bed, it really depends on the kid. J would have never fit in a toddler bed at 4. We put him straight in a twin. H will probably be in a toddler bed until then though is she stays on the same growth curve. I would wait and see the child. It would give you a better idea.

Here's the link ot the potty training thread. potty training ideas?

Hope this helps.

Jenny

[Howdy]

Oh that is awesome information, thank you so much.

Now the placement is up in the air, because the GAL wants to check out one more possible relative placement. They won't make a decision until later today and then if I don't hear from them I'm supposed to expect them to show up with the child this evening. I'm finding I'm not good at handling the suspense and uncertainty! But in my reading that I've done to meet the foster training reqrs I learned that having a 'Plan B' is one of the keys to resilience, so my plan b is that if I don't get this child I will tell the county I'm willing to do younger babies/kids (my requested range was 5 to 7, but I figure if I am so excited about an unpotty trained 4 yr old who would be a full time day care expense, why not go ahead and do a baby or toddler!).

[Amy2U]

My little 3 1/2 yr. old is NOT developmentally delayed. He is making the CHOICE to go in his pants.

I am sooo frustrated. On vacation, he went potty all the time, for the first time. Now, at home, yesterday, Ijust put him in shorts w/ no underwear. I hear, "Mommy, I made a poop cookie, you wanna see?"

Oooooohhhhhhhhhhh, He's choosing to go in his pull ups, or EVEN UNDERWEAR. It is a NASTY MESS!!

He's my biological child. I'm an adoptee in this forum, that's all, but when I saw this, I thought, Oh, good, some help!!!

He'll hide and go. But, I know HE CAN CONTROL when he goes and when he doesn't. He held it in all a.m. today, and didn't get wet, but he k nows I've told him I'll put him back in diapers.

[Amy2U]

My last post was June 1st, needing myself some help with the potty training.

Well, Wednesday June 28th, after 2 weeks before of severe punishment, and then the week before this date, just acting, hopelessly disappointed anytime my son soiled in his pants,

this Wednesday night, he said, "Mommy, I'm going to put a pull up on for safety, but don't worry, I don't think I'll have an accident, just in case!"

So, we went to church, he went potty in the potty the workers said 3 times. He came home dry, went to bed in UNDERWEAR, because he said, "Nope, mommy, I stayed dry in church, I don't need pull ups anymore!!!"

He stayed dry the rest of the week, then the week I went to see my bio. aunt, he had a couple of accidents, but I really thought it was because he was emotionally distraught because I left.

Since I've been home, NO ACCIDENTS, NEVER wants a pull up on, and is totally DRY!!!

I'm very proud of him. He even knows his numbers 1-20 and the whole alphabet, mixed up and jingled around too!!!

He says, "Are you sooo proud of me mommy!"

I sure am!

[Howdy]

That is an interesting technique (acting terribly disappointed at a dirty pullup)!

I have not made any effort with my foster child. I decided she has enough going on in her life without there being any extra worries. Or maybe I'm the one with too much going on to take on extra worries! ha

[momof6plus]

I have just went through pt a 4 yo that is slightly dev. delayed but because of neglect did not know the dif b/w poopie and pee. He came in diapers with terrible diarrea from the flu too! yay. It took us 4 mos of hardcore potty training bootcamp to get it done. I immediatly stopped putting diapers on him for daytime, only pull ups for daytime and diapers for night. I limited what he was drinking because he was drinking way too much for him to be able to control his bladder. Take them to "try" after meals, naps, before you leave the house, first thing in the morning, before they can have more to drink etc... Whenever you think they should have to pee take them potty. This child had a fear of falling in so he stands up to pee. He was also constipated from only eating Ramen noodles for so long and would not eat fruit or veggies. I could not figure out why he would not poop, he only went ever 5 days and cried terribly from the pain. I gave him some chewable fiber tabs and then when he figured out that it doesn't hurt he goes reg. I spent hours sitting on the tub while he tried to poop, he wanted to stay sitting and didn't want me to leave his side. I also have a 2 yo bs so making it a race to the potty helped, also stickers or outside play, playdoh time or other forms of reward worked great. Hang in there you will be so happy when it's done and so will the child. It shouldn't be a stressfull time so I would do it right away.

[Batty1]

I also would not add to the child's stress in the beginning. Just use Pull-Up's for a while, but remind him often to use the potty (insist that he try even if he says he doesn't have to go). I told my son, "When you are staying dry and clean all the time I will stop remininding you to go." I can tell you from experience that pressure and shoing frustration do not work . Positive reinforcement and praise/rewards help with some kids.

[dianamom4]

My son was 3 1/2 and not potty trained when we adopted. We tried all kinds of different methods of training, and nothing seemed to be working. Once I figured out he was going in his pants because he enjoyed the attention of diaper changing, I put him in underwear and plastic pants during the day and had him help clean himself up when he had an accident. We would do this standing up in the bathroom, not laying down like an infant. I was extra attentive when he went on the toilet, but made cleaning up accidents very businesslike and as brief as possible, and had him do as much of the work as he was easily capable of (putting dirty clothes into a bucket, dressing himself, etc.) I'm not sure whether this would have worked or not, but at that point nothing else was. He finally decided to potty train when I began sending him to daycare two days a week and the other kids his age started calling him "Poopy Boy". He came home one day and announced that he was a big boy and just quit. I was elated; I felt really bad about the "Poopy Boy" stuff. When it was time to train his sister I also put her into training pants and plastic pants. My friend who has 5 bio kids recommended this. She said they don't like the feel of the wet undies and train faster. It's also realy easy to tell if they had an accident- they walk bowlegged. Its a little messy, (pull ups are alot easier) but it really works! I did use pull ups in public and at night. Hope some of this helps.
-Diana

[pshamrick]

I have a 3 1/2 yo that was not potty trained at Christmas 2006. Potty training was easy, I just said that she couldn't wear big girl panties until she went in the potty instead of her pants. All was great for 6 weeks, then she was talking to her mother on the phone and went in her panties. From there on we had a problem. She would be fine at home, but poop in her panties at Daycare. We would scold her, take away her favorite panties, take away her fun toys, send her to bed early. When all this didn't work, we started rewarding for other things and put her in diapers. Yuck! Finally she asked for IceCream one day, I said if she didn't mess in her pants, she could have icecream. After 2 days of trying not to poop in her pants, it worked. She had ice cream 4 times in one day. From there on, she was OK and potty trained.
It just took alot of trying until we found the right trigger.