[lionbird]

First of all , I apologize in advance if I use the wrong lingo. I am open to corrections of any kind. I survived have been blessed by an international adoption. My son will be three in April and he is the light of our lives. We have been matched with an expectant mom who is due in April. I am having a very, very difficult time.

With my son, I always knew he would be mine...the parental rights had been terminated even before I received his referral. Getting him home was just a matter of time (a long freakin time...but that's another story).

Now there is this whole other dynamic. Its excruciating for me. I really want this woman to parent her child if she thinks she can..BUT ...I will be devastated if she changes her mind...but I would not want this baby if EM had a doubt about whether she was doing the right thing. It's soooooooooooo soooooooooooo hard.

For those of you who have already done it...how the heck to do go through this? I don't want to decorate the nursery because I have no idea if this baby will really become part of our family.

UGH. Ok. bring it on. I need some help here folks. I am really freaking out!
Thanks.

I look forward to getting to know ya'll better.

[loveajax]

welcome!!! i remember being "crazy" waiting for a match, but then realizing it is nothing compared to the match-placement stress!!! (and ours was only 5 weeks).

i think the "best" thing to realize is that honestly things happen for a reason and if this child is meant to be yours, she will. one thing to realize too is that even if a woman makes an adoption plan, she has to make that decision again after birth. it is a really incredibly emotional time for her. of course, it's a really emotional time for you as well.

i was paranoid about doing a nursery, etc. but i decided to do one in a gender neutral color and kind of just "enjoy" preparing for a baby.

hang in there and good luck!! i remember the five weeks feeling like five years so find some fun stuff to occupy your time, enjoy having an "only" child for now, etc.!

[rredhead]

I decorated the nursery because I knew that I would have a baby. I started when we got the first call about a potential match, which we had to turn down. (Long story.) When we matched with Jack's birthmom, I waffled about wanting a shower, but in the end, I decided I did want one. Even if she didn't place, I would have a baby, and even pregnancies don't always end in babies.
Being at the hospital was awful. The hospital staff treated S terribly - really they treated all of us badly, including Jack. I so wanted to get him out of there. If you might be at the hospital, I wrote a web page with all of the questions I wish I had asked, but didn't.
I hope this helps!

[lucky2009]

I'm new to this board as well, just signed up so I don't have the fancy "signature info" (I'll have to figure that out). Anyway, we were matched with our birthmom VERY early in her pregnancy (13 wks). She is now 32 wks and I wonder two things. One, how did I make it through the last 5 months, and two - how am I going to make it through the next two? I am a complete nervous wreck and the road for us has been a roller coaster.

Regardless, we did start getting the baby room ready after we were matched. We started with a gender neutral room, bright colors, animals, etc. We know we will have a baby no matter what. We love ebay and craig's list, so we slowly started buying things. Stroller, crib, bedding, diaper bag, etc. Once we found out it was a girl, our moms went a little nuts and started buying pink stuff, however we told them there was a max on how much clothes they can buy. Only basic minimum.

At this point I've already done all her laundry and packed her bag. We have 5-8 more weeks to wait. I'm not sure how I'm going to get through it sane!

[MeAndMyMonkies]

I know how you feel. We matched with an EM 2 weeks ago who is due in May. I speak to her often and she is amazing and says she is very certain about her decision. But every few days I panic she has changed her mind. Its going to be a long 12 weeks.