[sugarmuffin]

she be without you? I am a recent adoptive mom of my lovely daughter Fran and she is such a blessing. We finalized on 1/20/09 and I am thrilled to the moon. Here is my dilema.......at times when i share my incredible miracle story the response is "Just think where would she be without you? she is so lucky you adopted her"... and I just want to scream I am the lucky one. Without me she could have been with the other five families that wanted her. I am blessed and lucky to HAVE her. why is it at times people assume adopted childern had no options? They are God given and are hardly desperate.

What do you feel as an adoptive parent?

[mrskt]

I don't have an answer, but I'm in the same boat - we finalized on 1/23 and every person I've told since then has said the exact same thing, and I have to grit my teeth!

[furrybluemom]

I know where my baby would be and she would be with her other mom (birthmom) who also loves her very much. It is really amazing how many people don't know that our birthmom have a waiting list of families to choose from and that we are blessed to be choosen. That said, my first 3 kids are adopted through foster care and as older special needs boys did not have anyone in line to adopt them. They were lucky to get out of the system. Maybe that is where the perceptions come from.

PS, My boys are the love of my life just like their little sister.

[rredhead]

Personally, I know we're all lucky.
DS's birthmom is not in a stable situation. She can't provide for the children she is parenting. I know where DS would be if she had parented, and it makes me hold him so close whenever I think of it.
On the other hand, our son is amazing! He can carry a tune and memorize words - he loves to sing! I know that part of that is because S sang to him in the womb. (The other part is, I'm a singer and musical theatre fan.) He's incredibly beautiful, and very smart. At 3, he talks like a 5 year old. Some of that is genetics, and some is environmental, and some is just luck or blessings.
So, I say my son is lucky, but so are my husband and I, because we have such an amazing little man.