[MeghanM]

Hi Everyone,
We finished our home study at the end of 08. Our profile was done and we were listed mid to late December. Our social worker is supposed to call every month or so to let us know how many times we've been shown. When we did our home study she said it would probably be 6 months before we were shown because they take the potential birth mom's (PBM) parameters and then show her the 10 couples that have been waiting the longest that fit her parameters. There are about 90 couples waiting.
Well, there must be something different about us because we were shown in less than a month! It's killing me - will she pick us? What was the parameter that made us get shown above so many that were waiting longer? How many times are couples usually shown before they get picked? How long does a PBM usually take to make the decision?
I can't figure it out. We're pretty much the same as most on the drug and alcohol use, so that can't be it. I was adopted and have a relationship with both of my birth parents, but that wasn't a question on the sheet that we had to fill out to put in their system for the parameters. What could it be? Can I ask all of these questions to our social worker?
This is going to kill me!!! Does anyone have any advice on how to get through the waiting part? In the world of fertility they call the time between ovulation and the pregnancy test the two week wait (2WW). I thought that was bad! This could be 2 years or more!!!
Meghan

[waitingforanangel]

Hi Meghan,

Congratulations on being shown! We had sort of the same circumstance, and we were selected! We had only been with the agency for a month and were selected by the birthparents. We couldn't believe it. We heard that there were many, many people before us. It was just meant to be, I believe.

I passed the time by just staying busy at work - I had a saying to myself that until the baby is born, my work is my baby. This helped - all of the time I would have spent with my baby, I spent doing the best job I could do at work. Also, I spent time getting the nursery ready and shopping. There is no easy way to make the time go by, and actually, it got harder as the due date approached with the apprehension I got that something might go wrong. So, just enjoy the time doing things you like, and before you know it, you will have your precious child home with you!

I wish you the best of luck and keep us informed on your status!

[sugarmuffin]

Congrats and Congrats again. Don't try and figure out why you just thank your higher power as you know him/her to be and get ready. I like the idea of buying stuff even though I tried hard not to do it. But I got the basics like a small crib and all that.

My baby was placed with me two weeks after it was shown.........this even surprised the agencies(I was working with more than one) partically since I am a single parent. I remember (like you) being so curious as to why the birth mother chose me a single parent when she heard several other COUPLES that were interested. The answer I got was coz something in my profile moved her. IT WAS GOD!!! Fran and I are doing great and I couldn't be happier.

In a nutshell enjoy and say your prayers.

[MeghanM]

Thanks to both of you! I guess there was a reason that we were shown so early - she picked us! We're so excited. I should be sleeping, but that's not going to happen any time soon!!!
We're due May 4th. I guess we'll keep busy with work for now. We both have the fear that this is too good to be true, so we'll go easy on the shopping at first. I think I need somone to pinch me! Is this really happening?!?

[Ians mom]

YEAH!!!! Congratulations!!!
It just goes to show that God will bring the right baby to your family. Now for the hard part...waiting until May

[MrsNickeldime]

Congratulations! Thats wonderful news!

[waitingforanangel]

WOW!!!! Fantastic news!!! Go buy some baby stuff! You were matched with about the same amount of wait time as we had. It is a LONG wait, but so exciting, and it gives you lots of time to prepare. One bit of advice - be prepared with all essentials about 1 month out - our baby was born 1 month early and we didn't have everything we needed. We did a very quick shopping trip that day!!

Just take time to enjoy this waiting period and relish your sleep time. Before you know it, your little one will be here with you!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

[sugarmuffin]

congratssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss enjoy it

[Fluffymonkey]

You enthusiam and excitement are awesome! Congratulations on your success! I wish you both all the best.

[NAH]

Congratulations to you! I remember asking our caseworker each month if we had been shown! And as soon as we quit asking-BOOM! We were chosen! I do hope you can have some quality time to get to know your child's bparent(s) until May. We were selected in May and bmom was due in September but due to severe preeclampsia, she delivered in July-11 weeks early. It was a long NICU stay for all of us, but it was just more time we had to build our relationship. Best of everything to you!!

[rd200]

Congrats!!!! That is totally awesome that you got picked right away. i hope everything goes really smooth for you. i have only been technically waiting for 3 weeks and it feels like 3 years. i dont know how i'm going to do it if we dont get picked in the next few months. i am not a patient person, but your story made me feel like theirs hope to get a quick match. Good luck again, Rach

[MeghanM]

Thanks everyone! We are very excited. We're also being cautious about our excitement. Hopefully our bmom is secure in her decision but we're a little guarded in case she changes her mind.
We found out this week why we were chosen so quickly. It turns out it wasn't the agency - it was us! When they told us how long the wait was, the agency also encouraged us to network for ourselves. So we did. My birth dad created a website for us and we emailed it to everyone we know, asked them to forward it, etc. It was our networking that got our info into the right hands. I am so glad that we did that! So my advice is - don't be discouraged about the wait time. Do something about it! Put yourselves out there. You never know who might know someone... If it doesn't get you picked, at least you'll feel like you were taking control of the situation instead of waiting for the situation to come to you. Good luck to all of you who are still waiting! Go for it!!!
We got a letter from our bmom yesterday. It was so sweet. I'm going to save it forever! We've known about this for a little over a week and we're already emotionally attached to our bmom and the bay. Fingers crossed that our situation works out!!!