[waitingforanangel]

For those of you who are matched, how often do you speak with the birthmother/birthparents?

[rredhead]

When we were first matched, we sent email a couple of times. Then we finally learned that S had asked if she could give us her number, but the "counselor" never told us that. Finally, we asked, and the "counselor" gave us her number and her our number. We talked for 5 hours on one day. For the rest of the month, we talked one or two times per week.
Then, we went to Kansas City and met her a few days before Jack was born.

[ourdreamcametru]

Once we were introduced to Castle's birthmom we talked daily for sometimes 2 hours. She was young and alone so she grabbed any conversation she could get and of course I enjoyed talking to her! After about a month we started going to her doctors visits and lunch and as the relationship progressed we went to the mall together also. Now, 4 1/2 years later we are great friends and enjoy time with her extended family too!

[devildogwife]

We spoke with my son's birth mom every week and we out to eat a few times too before he was born.

[kelceesmom]

When we matched our bmom was about 5 months along. We spoke on the phone about every 10-14 days and actually met the bparents about a month before our daughter was born. Unfortunately for us and them they decided against keeping in contact after she was born.

Originally Posted by waitingforanangel

For those of you who are matched, how often do you speak with the birthmother/birthparents?

[jren]

We aren't "allowed" to have any direct contact prior to placement. I understand on the one side of it, preventing any coersion by the potential aparents, but on the other side if the placement occurs then it'll make creating an ongoing relationship that much harder.

[marythemom]

Our caseworker told us to not allow contact with biomom until/ unless she made some changes. She was blaming the children, saying it was their fault she put them in foster care. This was too damaging to them to allow. We allowed contact with the rest of the biofamily whenever the children wished, usually ended up being 1-2 times a week. The kids were usually a bit of a mess after each call, but that improved the longer they lived with us.

Biomom got hold of my e-mail address and began contacting me. I loved getting updates on my children's younger siblings, still with biomom, and baby pictures of my two, but I did not allow contact with the children. She emailed me about 2x a month, but I only answered her about once a month.

Biomom was acting like I was just the kids foster mom and she was still their mom, and I finally got fed up and let her know they were MY children now - she voluntarily TPRed. She stopped e-mailing me in May. I haven't reached out either. I probably won't. My situation is a little different in that biomom allowed my kids to be abused and neglected for years before she dumped them in foster care. She has my sympathy, but my priority is what's best for my children.

[furrybluemom]

The baby is due October 30th. We are talking on the phone once a week now. We are also texting and sending photos over the phone. We are taking our 3 boys and going down to meet the bio family this weekend. I am nervous and excited all at once.

[Stormster]

Daily pretty much for the three months we were "matched"

I don't really recommend that though because things can feel different after the baby is born and esp. in OA you want to be able to be consistent pre and post birth.

Now we email twice a week (or more) and talk every ten days or so.