[shannobananno]

DH and I are starting to research adoption. We live in Maryland. I went to an info meeting for a very reputable agency. The problem is that there aren't very many caucasian babies up for adoption anywhere in the tri-state area but there are more than enough wealthy caucasian families looking to adopt. DH insists it much be caucasian. Also, adoption laws favor the birthparents. After failed fertility treatment, I could not cope with a revoked consent. I'm starting to think it might be a good idea to research out-of-state agencies. I haven't the faintest as to where to start. Utah? Or maybe there are agencies whose focus is nation-wide?? I don't know. Any advice at all is greatly appreciated. Finding an affordable agency would be a big bonus too! PM me if you prefer.

[DianeS]

I don't have an answer to your specific question, but I thought I might be able to keep your hopes about what an "out of state" agency can do from getting unrealistically high:

The number of families waiting to adopt caucasian newborns ALWAYS outnumbers the number of caucasian newborns who are being placed for adoption. In all states in the US - not just your area. The exact percentages may vary somewhat depending on location and time, but there's always more wanna-be parents than babies.

And all states have laws where the adoptive parents run the risk of a revoked consent. The number of days during which the birthparents have to think over their decision and revoke it vary, but all states allow it.

If those are your two biggest concerns - caucasian child and revocation period, you may want to look into ways of reducing the waiting period or the stress of waiting.

For instance, if you could be open to some health conditions in a child, or open to babies who were exposed to drugs in utero, that would limit the number of other families who would also be considering that same situation.

And you may want to consider not "matching" with an expectant mother before the birth and having to wait through the revocaton period. You may want to sign with an agency that will let you wait for a "baby born" situation - one where the child is born, the papers signed, and the revocation perod over - before you're called to pick up the child. Of course you'll have to ask what that does to how long you'll be waiting for that call, t could be longer or about the same.

So, all that to say, "out of state agencies" may not be what you're looking for. You'll need to pick the situations you're open to very carefully, and you can do that regardless of the location of your agency. And you'll want to do some thinking about whether you want a relationship with the child's birth family before the birth or whether you want to wait for a "baby born" situation, and you can do that regardless of the location of your agency.

Good luck!

[dante07]

Hi there - we also live in Maryland and have signed up with a reputable agency there. Unfortunately, we have been waiting for a little while now and have decided to also pursue facilitator situations. If you find a reputable out-of-state facilitator, that may work in your favor of finding a caucasian baby.

Now - there is one big concern. Maryland does not allow Facilitators, so honestly I don't know how it works if you live in MD and are working with an out-of-state facilitator. I've been trying to research that issue.

If you want to discuss further, please feel free to pm me.

[minibus]

If you are looking for a healthy caucasian newborn, it's going to be expensive. There's just no way around it, at least that I have found. The demand is just too high. You could take your chances with foster-adopt, but then you will likely run into worry about the duration to TPR.

We use an agency that is similar to a facilitator, though they are licensed as an agency. They have contact with different agencies all across the country, so our search is not limited to our state. They are expensive, though, because we have their fees and the birthmother's agency's fees. The other agency we have worked with (failed match) has offices/representatives in about a dozen states.

I think that you have to choose - do you want less expensive, or are you open to race, in utero alcohol/drug use. It's a harsh choice, but I think that it's often a choice that needs to be made, unless you want to wait a long long time for a "perfect" situation, which could very well turn out not to be perfect when it actually happens. The more you limit yourselves, the longer you will wait, in the majority of cases.

Also, I think that most domestic adoptions "favor" the birthparents. Birthparents are given every right and opportunity to change their minds about their adoption plans up until birth and for a given duration (depending on the state where the mother is giving birth) after the birth. I'm not saying that it's wrong, it's just something that surprised me when I got into this process.

Different states have different lengths from birth to TPR. In some states, it's 24 hours, in others it's 30 days or I think I've even seen 6 months.

I think it is possible that you could contact an agency outside of Maryland which has several offices/branches in different states and see if they will work with you, if Maryland does not allow facilitators.

Best of luck to you!

[tweetybirdus]

We live in VA and adopted a cc baby from MD in a very short amount of time, HS approved in June 07, baby home in October 07. She had a heart defect which surgery corrected and she's very healthy and happy now. We used a reputable agency with offices in MD, VA, and DC. I'm curious if we're talking about the same agency. Please PM me.

[mdesi]

Actually, not all states are as bleak as been posted. Sorry, but I have to take issue with that. There are several states in which your odds of adopting a healthy CC infant and pay reasonable fees are higher. You would need to investigate that on your own. Finally, not ALL states have a revocation period. Our state, the earliest a placing parent/family can sign TPR is 72 hours, and there is NO revocation period. Once TPR is signed, it's done. Feel free to PM me, and I will tell you how we are doing it.