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Originally Posted by PasoJen
One of my concerns about the open adoption process is the time between being chosen by a birth mother and the time the baby is born. If this time is only a month, then if the mother decides to keep her baby I feel it will be easier on my husband and I than if we had waited 8 months for the little baby to be born and kept by the mother.
On the other hand, if I find a birthmother and we get along well but she is very early in her pregnancy, it will be hard to say "you are wonderful but see me in 7 months."
Can you share with me your experiences and how you handled this situation? Thank you.
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Our agency only starts the matching process into the seventh month. So the choice wasn't in our hands and we were thankful for that. It meant most likely the longest wait we would have from match to due date was six weeks. I for one would be very leary of an extremely long wait.
However, if you are trying to do a private match than it might be more difficult. You would have to set the standard for yourself about how much time you are willing to risk on a matching period. Because reality is... it is a risk. We were approached by friends about three different situations in the time we waited for our children. All three times they were very early in their pregnancy. I did give my phone number as someone to talk to but I also suggested they advise their friend to seek counseling to make sure that this is the decision they wanted to make. And if they wanted to consider adoption seriously, I would refer them to my agency in order for them to have what they needed (including other possible adoptive parents) to make the right choice for their child. But our agency was also well-equipped (in my mind) with some very good counselors for expecting parents, women who were birthmothers themselves.
11-11-2006, 10:27 AM
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