[AdoptInMe]

We are looking for a birthmother on our own, and wanted to know if there was anything else we could do. We have business cards, a birthmother letter, an 800 number, a lawyer and are in the process of getting our homestudy done. We have sent out business cards to everyone we know. We are also sending out a birthmother letter and business cards to every hospital, doctor's office and counseling service we can find in our state. We have a lot more to do in our state, then I guess we'll go outside of our state. As soon as our homestudy is completed, we'll use ParentProfiles.com. But we can't use them until it's done.

We did try advertising in New Hampshire (the closest state to ours that allows it), but it gets to be expensive, and we're not sure it works, so it's a gamble. We did get one call, but it was a disaster, she pretty much just cried, then hung up. Is there a specific place that works in terms of advertising? Is any state better than others (other than laws, which we already know about)? Thanks for any advice.

[schroem]

We too are going independent for our 2nd adoption. We also havebrochures & business cards but most independent matches ARE made throug hnewspaper advertising. We just started last month - and are spending about $500 a month. Last month that got us in 10 newspapers in 4 states.

[ourdreamcametru]

We are in Tn. Although our daughter found us instead of us finding her, our friend who is a labor and delivery nurse at the local hospital knew her birthmother and introduced us~ we were not looking to adopt. Our friend said that it is so common for birthmothers to talk to the nurses and ask for help placing the baby for adoption while they are in labor. My friend found her son this way, can you imagine being the labor and delivery nurse and the mother asking you to adopt her child? Anyway, I think you are on the right track sending letters and business cards to all the hospitals you just never know.

good luck

[Disneycrazed]

Also don't forget to contact churches in your area . They can also be very helpful.

[boxersx4]

hi we adopted our son using a webpage online. We designed one at yahoo and then got it out there. We were with an agency for years, 7 to be exact and they did nothing for us but a homestudy. It took us like 2 years for Ben. The funny thing is since adopting Ben three years ago we had a baby girl in Jan. 06 But anyhow advertise get those FREE WEBSITES it helps.. We found that our birthmother didn't even know about this site and also alot of other young women don't have any idea on this site. They look up couples wanting to adopt using google and yahoo and other searchers. Anyhow best of luck.
Joyce

[tobeafamily]

Some other ideas:

1. Post a flyer in your car windows. Amazing how many people will walk up to a car and read what's in the window. Ask your friends & family to do the same. Keep it simple "Loving couple hopes to adopt. Please call Sue & Joe anytime at XXX".

2. Post flyers (with tearoffs) on public bulletin boards at landromats, grocery stores, delis, anywhere they are.

3. Leave business cards in public places - restroom stalls in movie theaters, malls, concert venues, sporting events, on gas pumps, with wait staff tips at restaurants, in your envelopes with bills, at ATM machines, on bulletin boards, with your deposits at the bank - give to the teller if you go to the counter, at airports, train stations, on buses & subways. Anywhere where there is a lot of traffic. Ask friends & family to do the same. DH and I each set a goal to leave 10 cards a day places - as much a stress reliever as a networking activity. Though we did get calls, and continued to get them almost a year after we stopped distribution!

3. Tell everyone. I mean everyone. Your postal carrier. Paper delivery person. Colleagues at work. We developed a master email list of everyone we could think of, asked them to help and kept them updated on our progress - every potential contact, quiet weeks. It was one of those 'update' emails that connected us to our son's bfamily.

4. Insert a short 'ad' for yourselves in the tag line of your email, ask friends & family to do the same.

5. You can advertise in some 'national' papers like the Thrifty Nickel and USA Today. Can't say what success you'd have.

6. Have a garage sale and tell everyone who comes that you're adopting. Ask friends/neighbors who are doing the same to do this as well.

7. If you send holiday cards, include some business cards, a "Dear expectant parent" letter and a note asking them to pass these on to everyone in your list.

For us, the key was to keep ourselves present, and keep ourselves active. The lady who helped us connect was an old work friend (at a company I'd left a few years before) who I still traded jokes with on email. She said if I hadn't kept in touch on the adoption, she likely never would have thought of me, but she had just gotten an 'update' from us when she heard....

Oh and if you advertise, do remember to answer the phone AT ALL TIMES. We had friends who got a call one Sunday morning from a new mom - had given birth the day before. They were the FIFTH ad in the paper that day and the ONLY ones who answered their phone. Within an hour they had met this young lady and her husband and all had agreed on placement. Before the first of the other potential aparents had even called back....

JMHO, best,

Regina

[julsbensmommy]

Hi...I did extensive work in "adverstising" ourselves as a waiting couple for almost 20 months with our agency...(we eventually hired an adoption attorney and had a baby in our arms within two months...)

But anyway...I really "thought out of the box" when it came to advertising ourselves...

Remember : the internet is your friend. I emailed EVERY pastor on EVERY church website in our state practically. I went on every college / University in the state and emailed the group leaders in all of the college clubs. I emailed social workers at every area hospital, as well as ob-gynes. I went on every high school website and emailed our profile to every guidance counselor. It was a TON of work.

I did get a few responses and I'd like to tell you that our son came from doing all that work - but he did not. However, I felt good about it because it gave me SOME control in the situation of waiting. I felt like I was doing something to find our baby out there.

I hope this gives you some ideas.

Best of luck!

And remember the bottom line really is: what is meant to be - will be.

[ContactChar]

Remember : the internet is your friend. I emailed EVERY pastor on EVERY church website in our state practically. I went on every college / University in the state and emailed the group leaders in all of the college clubs. I emailed social workers at every area hospital, as well as ob-gynes. I went on every high school website and emailed our profile to every guidance counselor. It was a TON of work.

This may seem like a silly question, but. . . what do you say?? I have considered sending letters to churches, hospitals, etc., but I have no idea what to say in the letter. Do you include a profile? How do you keep the letter from sounding generic or worse (so that it doesn't immediately go to the round file)?

[Maria K]

Some of these have already been mentioned, but here's what we did...
> flyers in our cars
> business cards: inserted into c-mas cards, bill payments, etc
> button on our coat lapel that said "I want to ADOPT! Ask me about it!"
> newspaper ads: major cities and small towns
> tagline in our email signature
> our own website
> our own toll free tel #
> regular updates via email to everyone I've ever met in my life
> posted cards and flyers on bulletin boards at local colleges, high schools, health clubs, churchs, restaurants, hardware stores...
> basically I told anyone who would stand still long enough about our desire to adopt!
- Maria K