[betsylou]

From checking out different agencies on-line it looks as if every infant domestic adoption costs $25,000-35,000. When I have looked at message boards though it looks like people have been able to adopt newborns domestically for around 10,000-15,000. Where/how do you find the more affordable adoptions? Also, does three years still seem to be the usual wait time for a baby? My fiance and I had been talking vasectomy reversal and we're still looking into it, but know the success rate is far less than 100%. I had thought adoption was financially out of reach at 25,000-35,000, but I do think we could somehow afford the $10,000-15,000. Any advice? Thanks a lot!

[sugarbabysmommy]

We asked adoptive families we know which agency they used and one name kept coming up. So we went to their introductory meeting, liked what we heard and signed up. We didn't seeek out an agency based solely on fees (yes, money was always in the back of our minds), we wanted certain things from an agency, it just so happened we found those things in an agency that cost us around 10,000. We had other moneys related to our adoption, and in total our process was about 12,000. We did not have travel expenses since our adoption was local, or pay any support as our child's birthmother had insurance and wanted no help. We waited longer than average for a client of our agency, approx. 2.5 years for a match. The one thing we learned along the way was there are no two adoptions alike and how long you wait can't be prediected, or sometimes even explained. I know families who waited 3 months, and some who waited four years. This can be a hard thing to deal with when you want to parent with all your heart.

Start asking around, you may be surprised what you find out from friends and family. And don't let horror stories stop you. We've heard our fair share, and most of those folks are now eating their words when they look at our child and our relationship with our child's birthfamily.

[Dee1234]

The agency we are going through costs $10,000 for a domestic adoption (not including potential birthmother costs, if any). I have noticed that a lot of the domestic adoption situations you find online are $20,000-30,000. My suggestion is to look in your local phone book for agencies near your home, then you can give them a call and find out their approximate costs. From my research, local agencies in our area were running between $7500-$15000. I am sure you can find an agency that will fit your budget.

As far as the wait, it is very unpredictable with a domestic adoption, since the potential birthmother picks the adoptive parents. Some families get matched right away and others wait years. Our agency told us the average wait was 1 1/2-2 years and could be as long as 3 years. We have been waiting about a year so far.

Good luck,
Dee

[tobeafamily]

MOST of the domestic parental placement situations I've seen in the past three years involve total costs under $10K. The reason why you see so many online 'advertised' by agencies is BECAUSE they're so far out of the norm that there are few who are willing or able to afford them.

Only one family I know personally waited more than a year, and they were searching for their second child.

A few rules of thumb:

1. The more professionals and paraprofessionals (facilitators, referral services, networking services, etc.) involved, the higher the fees.

2. Check with SEVERAL agencies in your area, fees will vary widely. Look for ones that provide per-service fee structures and 'comprehensive' fee structures. If they don't readily itemize fees, avoid them.

3. I've seen more successful connections from personal networking than from agency or other third-party services. This is personally knowing now 14 families, only one of which was connected through an agency. All the others connected through their own advertising/searching and networking.

As far as situations:

1. Make a budget and STICK TO IT. If you aren't willing to help with living expenses, then don't. There are many situations that don't want/need or are even allowed to receive assistance with living.

I always think of living expenses this way: If you would help this person regardless of pregnancy and adoption plan, then help them now. If not, then don't. It's an act of charity and is non-recoverable should they decide not to place.

2. Same with medical - set your limits and stick to them. In the area of prenatal care, most women can access some kind of coverage, either through private insurance or state/federal programs.

HTH,

Regina

[79nic]

Just wanted to pipe in and say I'm a birthmom who did NOT take any living expense money or medical bill money from the aparents.

I felt it was my responsibility to pay for the pregnancy related costs, since if I didn't place, I'd be paying them anyway. So I did the best I could and my parents helped out, too.

We are out there!!

[tobe]

79nic - Just wanted to say it is good to hear from people like you, and god bless you – Many of us eager t adopt fall in the tap dismissing all the signs. We only have ourselves to blame. This is true for birthmothers and lawyers alike. When searching for an attorney and before selecting my birthmother I was told what to avoid. But I learned my lesson only after having lost money and much heartache due to being cheated. As a friend told me before selecting my attorney; for every 20 bad ones there is one good one out there and your challenge is to find that one. Experience proved him right. We are eager to adopt and start our family so we are vulnerable, and are easy to be taken advantage of. TB

[icunurse]

The agencies around where I live tend to charge the same fees for adoption. However we chose our agency based on a few things: we know people who had adopted through them, we know people who are adopted through them, we liked that the fees were "all-inclusive" (covered everything whether or not you needed them, but you also didn't lose money for failed placements), and we could see where our money was going (they advertise, provide tons of classes and can hook you up with specialists for questions about certain health conditions/medical risks, etc., and give lots of counseling to birthparents. Also, they have a fully-staffed nursery on-site to provide care for a baby until a birthmom makes her decision whether or not to parent instead of the child going into temporary foster care). Yes, we paid more fees, and, yes, we would have loved to have spent less, but we had our piece of mind over how our fees were being used.

[DebCsMom]

Unfortunately, some domestic adoption fees are lower because of the race of the child. NOT all but alot. A majority of people who adopt want caucasian babies. There are more families than babies. The opposite is true when adopting an AA baby or Bracial baby. The fees for those situations are generally less.

Deb

[Missourimomtobe]

The local agency we are probably going to go with charges $10,000 (no birthmother expenses or lawyer fees) and is one of the most reasonable in the area. They encourage clients to also sign with other agencies that use a similar fee structure (half money at match, the rest at placement; no money owed to anyone until a match is made except for home study) and gave adoptive and legal references and phone numbers right on their web site.

I also talked to a faith-based charity today that charges $12,500 INCLUDING birthmother medical and living expenses and all legal fees. Unfortunately, that one isn't accepting new applicants right now (I can only imagine the people lined up for that one)

So there ARE agencies out there that are reasonable ... just took me awhile to find them!

Best,

Sally

[redhedded]

Make sure that the agency you choose charges fees for a successful placement and not a specific match. There are many such agencies out there. While they are more expensive, there is no financial risk. Such agencies provide many services to expectant mothers considering adoption and prospective adoptive parents at their risk, not yours. Often couples lose thousands of dollars and their plans to adopt may be temporarily derailed when expenses have been doled out and expectant mothers choose to parent. Failed matches are very common; our agency told us that 50% of women who make an adoption plan opt to parent. While I do not know if that statistic is accurate, we experienced two failed matches before we adopted our daughter.

I want to reiterate what I have posted many times on this board about fees; in my experience, they depend entirely on the state of the licensed agency that you choose and whether you adopt independently, using only an attorney and doing much of your own legwork, or whether you choose a licensed no risk agency, and are NOT affected by race. We have adopted two African American newborns using no risk agencies, which provide an array of services, and all adoptions are the same fee. Each of our adoptions was approximately $18,000 plus legal fees and travel expenses.

I highly recommend reading the Adoption Option: Complete Handbook. It lists agencies by state, defines the parameters of adoptions that they participate in (whether domestic, international or both), gives their date of licensure and average annual number of adoptions. It gives a fee range, the services that an agency provides, the requirements of prospective adoptive parents, the average time from contact to completion of homestudy and any ongoing or past litigation. I think you can pick it up at any large bookstore. Best of luck. Sometimes getting started is so hard.

[shylagirl]

My husband and I started our private adoption with est. fees under 15,000, but ended up with much higher fees due to not understanding the adoption laws in the state we were in and also some other complications. But along with us another couple adopted by just letting everyone know we were interested. And ended up adopting from people we knew.