[Kassidysmomma]

What I am living is a very unusual situation. I have a best friend who is an absolutely wonderful person but completely unhappy being a mother. This is her second child. She signed over her parental rights to her first child after temporarily losing him due to neglect. She just doesn't want to be a mother. So...my friend has decided to give me the greatest gift on earth. Her child. We are not very rich people at all, and we are not sure what we need to do. Do we neccessarily need an attorney since it is an amicable agreement? Can we not get copies of the forms at the courthouse and file them ourselves? If anyone can help us, please do. We would like to get the adoption process over as soon as possible. We don't want Kassidy to be affected by it.

[mlbsands]

It depends on what state you live in to some degree... some require an attorney, some require more.. some you can just get copies of the papers to sign.. How old is the child??

Also.. for a very amicable situation even if you have to pay an attorney it can be as loas as $2000 or less.. I would at the very least check with a few attorneys in your area.. some wille ven take payments.

Good luck

[tobeafamily]

I would absolutely get an attorney involved to ensure that things are handled properly. If they're not, you could lose your child forever down the road. For instance, what is the status of the child's biological father? His rights will need to be terminated also. If he's unknown, there are set procedures that must be followed.

You might explore obtaining legal guardianship then adopting at a later time if costs are prohibitive.

Also, call around to several attorneys in your area as fees do vary.

HTH

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

[craftiemom]

That is wonderful that you and your friend are working toward a mutually agreed upon situation, which sounds like it will greatly benefit the child. We were also in a situation such as yours...only with my cousin. (In the end, she decided to parent, but we still learned alot about the process)
You can call your local courthouse, probate department, and talk to a probate worker/officer and just ask what you need to do to make this happen, as cost effectively as possible. Start there... I was told that we still needed to have a homestudy done, fingerprinting and background check, all the same things you need to do if you are doing any other type of adoption. The court still needs to approve the placement, even though the parent wants to place the child with you. The good news...the probate court can send a worker to your home and they will complete their own homestudy...at no cost. At least they did for our situation. If they won't, then perhaps Children's Services would do the homestudy at no charge.The attorney fees and court costs should be minimal. They also needed to have a social worker provide birthmothers counceling, to make sure she knows what she is doing etc. I do believe you will need an attorney to file the paperwork...and really you should, as it is very complicated, or it can be...and you don't want to run the risk of doing something wrong, and having the adoption overturned later because someone's rights were violated etc. Relationships can change over the years...and you need to protect yourselves from getting hurt later on.
All in all...if you call the probate dept., they will walk you though it.

Good luck to all of you! I love stories like yours...everyone working for the good of the child!

Craftie!

[Sarah0518]

I would definately use any adoption attorney. Unless all the I's are dotted and T's are crossed, you are leaving yourself legally vulnerable. Private placement like this one usually have relatively low legal costs

A lawyer can probably draw up papers allowing you to become the legal guardian while the adoption proceeding take place. Legal guardian isn't the same as being a parent though, but it does allow you so rights, such as to seek medical care for the child if necessary, while they are in your care. But definately go all the way thru with the adoption, otherwise there are many rights you may miss out on.

You may also need to have a home study done by an agency as part of the adoption process. Many states require it.

Are you aware of the $10k adoption tax credit? Fees paid to an agency or adoption lawyer are deductible as a tax credit in the year the adoption finalizes - up to $10k that is. For a private placement, your costs should run well below this, so don't let finances stand in the way of becoming a mom.

Good luck!

[Kassidysmomma]

Ok, this is the third time I have tried to post a reply. Hopefully it will work this time. I was writing to thank you all for replying so quickly. It truly touches my heart to know that there are people out there that understand my feelings and want to help. Just as an update, we have talked with a few attorneys and can get the adoption done for about $3000. Even less if my fiance and I go ahead and get married now instead of waiting until next year. (He is her cousin so it will make it a related adoption-no homestudy!) He is thrilled because now I will finally settle down-isn't that backwards? LOL So once again, thank you all so much for your support.