[REBAV]

I have two sons - ages 9 & 11. They are always toghther and constantly argue. It is usually about something ridicilous (ie. he is making a face at me, he keeps looking at me, he won't stop making noises, etc...) I am at my wits end. I am grateful that they do not physically fight, but I kid you not when I say that I hear "MOM....he did (fill in the blank here)" at least once every five minutes. It is seriously driving me nuts. I try to straighten out the argument and come to a resolution with them (which my DH says I need to just ignore them) and all is usually fine for another 10 minutes....then we start again. If I do not intervene, they usually escalate to pushing or getting really ugly with one another. I would LOVE for any advice on how to quell the constant arguing????????

Rea

[lucyjoy]

When they come to you with their arguements, don't listen. Instead say, "oh, you need something to do." and give each of them a chore. We did this every 10 minutes for 3 hours one day. Finally, one of the kids bribed the other one to stop it.

If that's too much of a hassle, tell them you only take complaints in writing. Let them write all their arguments down and let them know you'll read them when you get time after dinner.

Other then that, ignore them and when they start pushing, send them outside and tell them to fight out there and they can re enter the house when they've finished. (Don't do this if the kids are overly aggressive or one is a lot bigger then the other)

[REBAV]

That is a couple of great ideas. I will start today with the writing them down idea. I still have a problem with the mornings - while they are getting ready for school - we do not have any extra time to write things down or do extra work, but maybe this will help nip it all in the bud when they do have time. Any other ideas???

Rea

[mrsred]

One I have heard is that the two arguing kids have to sit back to back for a specified amount of time.
but usually, for me the morning arguing is the worst. I just separate them. Normally breakfast is eaten at the kitchen table, so I will send one to the island, or to the dining room table. Or if I am having problems with more than just two arguing I may have one at the kitchen table, one at the island, and one in the dining room. If someone pushes it beyond that they are sent to their bedroom. that would usually be my oldest daughter.. the rest seem to get it that they have pushed as far as they can.