[cb131]

They are 2,4,6 they will argue & tattle so I seperate the 4 & 6 yr old they are the ones who are having the problems. & tell them they are not allowed to play together for 20 min.then they play ok for a bit.The toys are an arguement,I am confused because I don't really see the whole incident so I try to punish fairly but I don't want one to feel like they won a battle or something.As long as I am involved like if we are on a hike or going to the park or things like that (structured stuff) they are all fine but to have them play alone is the problem

[dlhall]

I have a 3 year old (almost 4) and I keep another 3 year old and 2 year old during the day. They too fight over toys and my new solution, which seems to be working, is to put the toy in time out. If they won't share, then no one can play with it--it's amazing how fast one of them agrees to share!

Liz

[dianamom4]

I agree with Liz. I have 4 kids, ages 3,4,5 and 6, adopted a year and a half ago. Foster mom did not encourage sharing so they bickered over toys constantly. Once I hit on taking a toy when they fought over it, the problem stopped. Now all I usually have to do is give a warning. I rarely have to take toys anymore. One pointer on using this method: Do not try to figure out who started it, whose toy it is, who had it first, etc. Just give one "play nice and share warning" , then take the toy if they do not stop fighting. Explain that it was taken because they were arguing over it and end the discussion. Keep it for a set period of time (I keep the toy for the rest of the day). It also helps if you have set rules regarding toys. In my house anyone can play with anyone else's toy if no one is playing with it. If a child breaks another child's toy on purpose, or by being excessively rough with it, I will take a similar toy from that child and give it to the wronged child. Harsh, I know, but they now treat each other's things with respect. I also do not allow the kids to take each other's toys out of the house. Hope this helps. Good Luck!
-Diana

[HappyTwinsMom]

I agree with Liz, as well. My twin daughters will fight over anything, anytime, anywhere, so our rule is whatever they're fighting over gets taken away. We tell them they have to work it out between themselves, but if they can't, bye-bye toy!

[mrsred]

You can't make your kids share. But you can set your own boundary and let them know that you are unwilling to listen to them. If they are fighting in your presense, or come and tattle, remove the toy, and separate the children.