[mrsleedavis]

I am new to this group. My name is Lee, I'm 31. I have two children. My Daughter is 12, I had her when I was 19, unmarried. At 23 I married and had my Son who is now 8 (my ex-husband adopted my Daughter). I am soon to be married (July 2005) to a man that has a 15 year old Daughter (never married). So far my Daughter is still sweet the majority of the time. The 15 year old is a completely different story. She is extremely difficult, refuses to put forth effort in school, skips regularly. At this point in the year the school is useless in helping us with her behavior. They are not filing truancy even though they told us they would. We are at our wits end with her! Right now she is living with a long time friend, for the past 2 1/2 weeks. We made the deal that she could live with her friend (and her Mother and Brother) as long as she agreed to finish out the year and put forth enough effort to earn credits for her classes. After only a few days she was back to skipping every day or not going at all. With all that she has been through growing up, with her Mom she started getting into trouble after she moved another state and got married a guy. They are basically white trash and there was lots of fighting and drinking. My step-daughter got into physical fights with the guy and she was put into foster care by CPS. She has also been in aoda treatment for alcohol while living in the other state with her Mother. We got custody of her last February. She got into some trouble trying to run away with the boyfriend she left behind and attempted suicide. After a short stay in the hospital and a two day stint at a facility for troubled adolescents came back to us and finished out the school year with flying colors. This year started out ok, but slowly spiraled to this point. We think she needs something along the lines of a residential treatment facility for behavior modification, and it needs to be long term, 4 months at the very minimum. Unfortunately there seems to be nothing in our area, as we feel sending her far away would be more harmful than helpful, and we don't have the finances or the ability to take out loans to pay for such a facility. If anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them!

[lucyjoy]

I would think it would be difficult for this child to take you seriously as parents if you make deal about where she lives and attending school. She lives at home or gets reported as a runaway. If the school doesn't report her truant, you can. Is she in counseling? She has a lot to deal with. She loves her mother regardless of the type of life she led. She may need help dealing with her grief. My running and being self destructive, she can avoid dealing with those feelings that hurt so much. Does she have a good relationship with her father or have they not been in touch for a time? A whole lot of decisions have been made for this girl-certainly with her best interest in mind- but she likely feels very out of control. She needs acceptance. She needs to build a relationship with you and your husband.
If she is not dangerous to herself or others, she needs to do that at home and with a trained professional that is familiar with children/teens with her troubled past issues.

[hotspice58]

This is late; how did it turn out? I would suggest having her tested for some type of attachment disorder first. If she can be treated for that, there may not be a need ofr an RTC.

[heartbeat]

I'm guessing this is way too late, but the girl sounds like I was and interested me.

heartbeat