I am a birth mother whose biggest wish in her life was to one day meet her relinguished daughter...and low and behold - i did.. face to face. I loved the sight of her and then the tug and pull of reunion and all of its potential train wreck possibilities started to evolve. People in my immediate family were not versed on reunion because of course they did not need to read a book..My sister actually told me that she felt i was allowing my b daughter to meet our parents to HURT THEM.
Needless to say i was floored and to this day 2 years later i have not quite forgiven her for that assumption. Then my bdaughter went to meet ny raised daughter without including me and i felt hurt since i had told her I really wanted to be present..It was a shock for my raised daughter to see her because she looked so much like me...even though my raised daughter says it did not bother her -i was angry that my b daughter did not consider my feelings .
Also i find that my bdaughter is very cavalier about getting together..she was supposed to meet myself and her sister ( my raised daughter) but could not find the time when she was here in our home town for a visit
Once you get started here all these questions start bubbling to the service..right or wrong ..I believe i feel safe enough here to get REAL...hopefully with myself. Is it wrong to just let it go? Just admit that the reunion was a bust and that another 30 years waiting for potential crumbs would be passive abuse...sometimes i wonder if i should have let this dog sleep..