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  #16  
Old 05-06-2008, 07:20 PM
soprano soprano is offline
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It complicates things that depression and insomnia seem to go hand in hand. I just try to focus on getting through the week. We just need to shoot the man who invented menopause--then all will be well!

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  #17  
Old 05-06-2008, 10:32 PM
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lahdh4 lahdh4 is offline
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Each year stinks since my Grandmother sends me to the store to purchase Mother's Day cards for my mother, Aunt and SIL.
Then I have to listen to everyone at work talk about their Mother's Day plans and I would rather just scream.

Oceans I will be online for a good portion of the day on Sunday. Usual day here, lunch and laundry and to top it all off rain
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  #18  
Old 05-07-2008, 03:44 AM
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belleinblue1978 belleinblue1978 is offline
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I'm already doing the sitting around and having crying jags thing. I guess my mom and dad are coming to visit that day. I think they are trying to spare me from my brothers. Thank God for small favors anyway.

You know, I hope for a card and some pics, but I'm guessing there won't be any, who knows? I always feel like if I were nicer I would call his mom, but maybe I'm not nice. Who knows?
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1-4-2009 Mom and I visit Kiddo despite the bad weather. He really loved the blue mittens I made him and even helped me plan my living room. Apparently Hot Wheels wallpapper is the way to go.
2-16-2009 I got a promotion, that comes with a raise. Mom and Dad are visiting and we're going to Al's for pie to celebrate.
4-27-2009 Dad surprises me with a Lady Ugly Stick (an awesome fishing rod that is pink) and a 2nd Iowa Light Artillery Battery jacket. I'm a lucky girl!
5-30-2009 Kiddo turns five. It is hard to believe he is that old already, it seems like just yesterday he was being born. I was at peace for the first time on his birthday, what a nice feeling.
6-13&14 2009 A cannon live fire in Casper WY. We got third place and I got to see Devil's Tower for the first time, it was pretty awesome.
7-4-2009 Amelia the kitten comes to live with me and Liz. Talk about jealousy, Liz will adjust though.
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  #19  
Old 05-07-2008, 04:03 AM
lonni lonni is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by belleinblue1978
I'm already doing the sitting around and having crying jags thing. I guess my mom and dad are coming to visit that day. I think they are trying to spare me from my brothers. Thank God for small favors anyway.

You know, I hope for a card and some pics, but I'm guessing there won't be any, who knows? I always feel like if I were nicer I would call his mom, but maybe I'm not nice. Who knows?



Brandy- you are the nicest person I know, so stop that!!!!!!!!! LOL
((((((hugs))))))) hope this week zips by-ugh
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  #20  
Old 05-07-2008, 04:03 AM
keds keds is offline
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(((hugs))) to everyone - it's going to be a tough one. Oceans, I'm right there with you, it does seem harder when you've got the face/name haunting you. I don't expect a call (only because he has a mom and step-mom and it must be hard for him to deal with all of that) but it doesn't make it any easier when the day comes. Raven, my parents and I are in a bit of a bad place at the moment as well so that isn't helping. The change is affecting me as well - I sometimes think men have it soo easy but I'm sure that's not the case.

I get the feeling that bson avoids sending e-mails/cards/calls about 4-5 weeks before mother's day and then I get some contact about a week after. It must be a reallly tough time for him as well so I try not to get too down about it but, as you all know, sometimes these things are out of our control. My other 2 are having a rough time as well, no contact from bson and my eldest is downright angry because she feels he shouldn't have contacted me and asked to meet them unless he was in this for the long term. I tried to explain the push/pull of reunion but it's so hard to understand. I'm even starting to regret telling them all but I know that he was quite pleased that I wasn't hiding anymore and, as tough as it's been, it was a huge relief to step back into the light from the shadows.

I have to spend Sunday moving a friend so I doubt I'll get on line much but I'll be here in spirit thinking of you all and hoping we can all get past the day. At the very least, I am certain that at some point my bson will think of me, even if he isn't able to call.

((((hugs))))
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  #21  
Old 05-07-2008, 04:48 AM
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belleinblue1978 belleinblue1978 is offline
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Awww Lonni, thanks. Sometimes I don't feel very nice, especially for most of May. I never know if it is easier to get most everything over in May or if it is like ripping the duct tap off of my almost held together heart.
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First mom to the amazing Kiddo and adopted adult.

1-4-2009 Mom and I visit Kiddo despite the bad weather. He really loved the blue mittens I made him and even helped me plan my living room. Apparently Hot Wheels wallpapper is the way to go.
2-16-2009 I got a promotion, that comes with a raise. Mom and Dad are visiting and we're going to Al's for pie to celebrate.
4-27-2009 Dad surprises me with a Lady Ugly Stick (an awesome fishing rod that is pink) and a 2nd Iowa Light Artillery Battery jacket. I'm a lucky girl!
5-30-2009 Kiddo turns five. It is hard to believe he is that old already, it seems like just yesterday he was being born. I was at peace for the first time on his birthday, what a nice feeling.
6-13&14 2009 A cannon live fire in Casper WY. We got third place and I got to see Devil's Tower for the first time, it was pretty awesome.
7-4-2009 Amelia the kitten comes to live with me and Liz. Talk about jealousy, Liz will adjust though.
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  #22  
Old 05-07-2008, 05:26 AM
josh1788smom josh1788smom is offline
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In my mind I think I have done a disconnect between Mothers' Day and my birthson. I have no expectations of him even behaving as a normal human being would to me any day of the year, so Mothers' Day I have even less expectations.

I did decide to schedule my pedicure appointment for Saturday so, I am doing something for myself on Birthmothers' Day, which I didn't even know existed until I logged in here. I think I may make that an annual ritual. Yay Me!!! Kind of thing.

I sent my cousin (the adad) a story about Mothers I would have liked to forward onto his wife (the amom of my birthson). I told him I didn't want to rock her boat so I sent it to him and he could decide. I don't have much expectation there either, but a pleasant surprise would be nice.
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  #23  
Old 05-07-2008, 07:36 AM
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taramayrn taramayrn is offline
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Wow, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who struggles with Mother's Day. I'm sorry though, that all of you are having troubles. Maybe those who don't have plans on Mother's Day could do a chat?

I heard back from T's mom. She has another Mother's Day event on Saturday, but she's trying to get out of it so she can come to Birthmother's Day with me.
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  #24  
Old 05-07-2008, 09:02 AM
Oceans Oceans is offline
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((( All ))) Thanks for the support. I may be able to get out of the day's festivities with my BF's Mom. He is starting to understand how hard this is right now. I think the swollen make up free eyes were a clue when I got home last night. I spent a good part of the day in my office crying... Apparently my emotions have a poor sense of timing

I'll be here if I don't have to be somewhere else
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  #25  
Old 05-08-2008, 08:29 AM
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I will be around. i will find you and we will have a drink eventhough mine will be iced tea. (((HUGS)))
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  #26  
Old 05-08-2008, 06:38 PM
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I'll be around too. Too bad we can't really meet up in real life and toast each other!

This week has just been a total bummer for me. So many feelings, so many memories....
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  #27  
Old 05-09-2008, 07:07 AM
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Going out for a champagne brunch on Sunday would be fun!! It is too bad we all live in different places.
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  #28  
Old 05-10-2008, 09:40 AM
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Well all of a sudden Mom has me all booked up for tomorrow....Brunch with her and my sis and dad, dinner at my brothers house with his pregnant wife and their four kids. I asked how long that was going to take and my Mom looked at me like I committed some serious betrayal.

Really confusing when a few days ago she was telling me how it didn't matter if I made other plans or not. Ah, Mom's that know that power of guilt trips....
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  #29  
Old 05-10-2008, 09:48 AM
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I just broke down in Hallmark. Snot and tears and all.

Great time.
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  #30  
Old 05-10-2008, 10:15 AM
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I really don't like mother's day. Last year and this year have been hard for me as well. Last year my girls were off backpacking Europe and I had such a hard time with them gone. What was really cool was several of their friends stopped by to wish me a happy day. This year I'm struggling with the empty nest and I'm also up most nights dealing with night sweats...(jeez, no one tells you that this stuff happens! what's up with all the new facial hair?) Also, I'm almost two years into a search with nothing. Nada. Two paid search firms and it looks like his records are buried so deep that it's gonna take something not quite legal to uncover them and I'm not sure if I want to go there...(thanks lds family services and idaho).

I'll try to concentrate on my Mom and my husband will concentrate on my MIL and in between we were planning on going to my favorite garden and nursery, but we just got new kayaks and the weather's suppose to be nice, so we might take those out.

Actually, I'm suppose to be getting ready now for a several hour paddle...I better pack a lunch.

((((hugs)))) to all my cyber friends.
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