[Patty-cake]

Go to the top of the sub-forum ie. depression and click "new thread".-Patty

[susieloo]

thanks patty. I was so looking in the wrong place!
Susie

[susieloo]

I ordered the book today. Will take two weeks to get here. Cant wait!!!
susie

[SchmennaLeigh]

I placed on 03 and think everyone should read the book. Baby scoop/closed era birth mothers, open adoption birth mothers, adoptive parents, adoptees, families considering adoption, expectaht parents considering placement, the general freaking public, your mom.

[taramayrn]

I agree with Jenna - there are so many parallels.

[RavenSong]

I absolutely agree with Jenna, too! Everybody, and I mean everybody, should read this book. I think that the interviews and descriptions of what relinquishment feels like apply to ALL birthmoms, not just the ones from the closed era of adoptions. I think it should be required reading for anybody touched by adoption...

[SuddenlySusan]

I'd go even further and say that TGWWA should be read by the general population, including required reading for history classes. After all, it IS a part of our nation's history... sad, but true.

Peace,
Susan

[lahdh4]

Originally Posted by SuddenlySusan

I'd go even further and say that TGWWA should be read by the general population, including required reading for history classes. After all, it IS a part of our nation's history... sad, but true.

Peace,
Susan

That is a great thought I wish it would happen

[InBlindFaith]

When I was reading the book I had a box of tissues next to me. I placed DD in 1988 and I was able to relate to so many of the stories. While I was reading it my girlfriends told me to highlight every line I was able to relate to and when I finished the book I had to let them read it because they wanted to understand what I was going through.

Well, my girlfriends were in a puddle of tears. All they could do when they returned the book was hug me, tell me they love me and they will never leave my side.

Josh'smom - I think you are onto something about our parents being from that generation. I'm guessing our parents are about the same age since you and I are.

[susieloo]

Its funny I am almost too scared to read the book. I am a total softie and tears come pretty easily. In my mind b4 I even read it I am wondering whether or not to give it to my two raised daughters to read. Then wondering if I should send it on to bdaughter. I always tread sooo carefully...in some ways I want her to know....then in other ways I don't like loading my stuff onto her. Guess I'll make up my mind after I have read it. Wish it would hurry and get here...just want to hold it!!!!
Susie

[RavenSong]

Susie, my advice: send it to ALL of your daughters! I really think it will help your bdaughter understand things a bit better. You won't be burdening her with your issues...you'll be teaching her some history. But more importantly, she may gain some new insight about what the times were like when she was born and what young women faced every day....

[lahdh4]

Susie, I agree with Raven, give it to all of your daughters. It won't hurt. I think it could only help.

[SuddenlySusan]

Originally Posted by InBlindFaith

When I was reading the book I had a box of tissues next to me. I placed DD in 1988 and I was able to relate to so many of the stories. While I was reading it my girlfriends told me to highlight every line I was able to relate to and when I finished the book I had to let them read it because they wanted to understand what I was going through.

Well, my girlfriends were in a puddle of tears. All they could do when they returned the book was hug me, tell me they love me and they will never leave my side...

I did this as well... I took a pencil and underlined or marked specific passages that I felt described my story. I also wrote notes in the margins to add specifics, or to note things that were different than what I experienced. I wrote an inscription in the front of the book, with a personal note to my son, and gave it to him on the last day of our first F2F visit (our visit was almost a week long).

Several months later, I told my son about this website. He read threads, and wrote some posts, and mentioned TGWWA. I copied this from one of his posts...

My son's post:
"...i wish every reunion was like mine! but there is a time in every individuals life..... whenit's the right time for both of you, that's ideal. i was reunited with my mom right before my 36th birthday. ask her and she'll say that was 36 years to long, BUT, if she found me when i was 20, i think i would be to involved with my friends, college, life or whatever i THOUGHT was important,to properly acknowledge her. and if it was before my kids were born, i don't think i would understand. even as an adult and an involved father, i didn't fully know herpain until i read 'the girls who went away' (that she gave me at our reunion)..."

I offered a copy of the book to the son I raised (D), but he has not read it, yet. The daughter I raised (A) has a copy of the book, but she is a single mom in college right now and it's hard for her to find time to do any extra reading. I have talked with both of them about some of my journey and experiences. I wish they would read the book, because it would be easier for me to talk about things.

My son's asis (K) has read the book, and she said that the book helped her to understand and gave her a new perspective on things.

I'm glad my son R read the book...I believe it helped our relationship... especially with the personal notes I wrote in the book for him.

Although I lived through the experience, even I did not understand the effect of society at that time. It's hard to get a picture of the forest when you are a tree growing in the midst of it...

Peace,
Susan

[taramayrn]

I say give it to anyone who is willing to read it.

[bromanchik]

Originally Posted by m-mom

oceans- I do have an open adoption with my son. I see him 2-3 times a year for the entire day. He and i have also recently started writing letters to eachother, which makes the time in between the visits not so hard. My parents also visit him and he calls them "grandma" and "gradpa" and they think it has all worked out beautifully! But then again they weren't forced to give up their first born.

Have you told the a-parents to introduce you as his first/birth/natural mom? Sometimes a-parents do introduce you in this way because they don't feel it is their place to "out" you. Let them know you would love to be acknowledged.