[dolfinluvr30]

I am slowly loosing my mind.I gave my daughter up 7 1/2 years ago and it still gets harder everyday. I signed her over to my brother & his wife, and we were supposed to keep everything out in the open. But as soon as I signed the papers, everything changed. I only get to see her on Christmas & if I'm lucky on her birthday. She is 9 1/2 and doesn't know that she is adopted. I pray for the lord to help me through this & he is.. but it is also taking therapy and medication that has got me this far. If any one has any advise, please help me out. Thank you

[bromanchik]

Does she know she is adopted? What are their reasons for not being open?

[StacyKelly2]

My heart goes out to you. I am a hopeful adoptive mom, and I will be honest I would never promise a birth mom or birth dad anything that I would not keep my word to. All of this including the fact that she is adopted needs to be addressed. It saddens me that at 9 years old she does not know she is adopted. Of course everyone is entitled to their opinion on adoption and when it is they chose to tell the child of adoption. With our situation we told the birth mom from the very beginning that her little boy will know of his biological parents and how much they both love him. For us, that should be a great importance. Also, our choice is to let our child know of adoption and that it is nothing to hide, but that adoption is a loving and courageous choice. We could never not respect the birth mom's wishes....if not for her we would not have our little blessing!! Just know that the truth will always find its way sooner or later. Your brother and his wife can never take the fact that you are the birth mom from that precious little girl....I feel for you -If they agreed to an open adoption then they should have kept their word. Its ashame they don't understand your feelings....If you need someone to listen you can pm me...Just letting you know I am on the other side -but have nothing but respect for any birth mom out there who makes such a loving and courageous choice. May God Bless you!

[SadMother]

That is so sad - your daughter has a right to know the truth.

[Rylee45]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

When I was pregnant with my daughter and trying to find alternatives to adoption, I was trying to find family who would let me stay with them until I had the baby.

None of them would let me stay. They all decided I was a tramp and a bad influence on the other younger family members.

One of my Uncles agreed to let me stay with him ONLY if I would give my daughter to him and his wife and then never talk to them again. I couldn't do that.

I can't understand family who would do that to another family member and actually take the child away instead of helping them with the child. I just don't get it.

I did end up having to give my baby up for adoption and in a closed adoption situation. So, I guess it might have been better had I given my daughter to my Uncle and Aunt. At least I would have known who she was and where she was and whether she was ok or not.

Rylee