[Patty-cake]

I need to get this off my chest- how I really feel today. Once again I am shopping for Christmas gifts for a grandson that I met once and may never see again and a grandson that I may never see. I was robbed of my daughter and now I may be loosing them because she can't cope with having me in her life at present even though she is the one that searched. I do understand this but I also want to be understood. It just seems cruel. I'm ashamed to admitt feeling this way but sometimes I do. Most of all I want to see her again and I have to face the fact that it may never happen. Like I said I just had to get it off my chest. Maybe tomorrow I'll have a better outlook.-Patty

[bromanchik]

Wow, that's really hard. Hope things turn around....

[tattudemom]

I don't know your whole situation, but I thought I'd try to encourage you to keep the faith. I found my sister (I'm the birth sister of an adoptee) and when she realized she lived as close as she does, she panicked. I didn't hear from her for two years. We just do emails now and have yet to meet face to face. I remain patient feeling that what's meant to be will happen. They say that adoptees go through so many emotions whether they initiate contact or the birthmom does. Keep this in mind and try to ride out the waves of her push and pull without taking it too personally. If you don't expect anything more, you'll be pleasantly surprised by any time spent with her and your grandchildren, but if you expect a tight relationship, you're bound to be hurt by her emotional reactions. Talk to the adoptees on the forum to get a feel for what your daughter may be going through. I'm glad you got to made contact, especially with the strict records laws. Things will work out. Good luck to you.

[InBlindFaith]

((((Patty-Cake)))) The Holidays are tough. Hang in there, be patient...things will turn around one day.

[pg13209]

Patty,
Just give her some time I panicked as well after I found my bmom. I pulled away for a while but now I am coming around. Do not give up hope just give her the space that she desires right now. She may or may not come around but at least you know you respected her wishes and did not drive her away any more than she already was.

[tyiakoum]

Patty, I agree w/Paula. Keep the faith. I know this is really hard for you, the emotions are so raw. It is really hard not to have control over the situation. Keep praying for a positive outcome.

Good luck and just know there are many of us struggling through the holidays just like you, for so many reasons. I know this doesn't take away from your pain but you are not alone....

[Patty-cake]

This is not a new situation this is the third Christmas since our reunion- however I am feeling better. I recieved a thank you card for the youngest boys birthday gift and in were several pictures and best of all a newspaper article about my daughter. I am so proud of her many accomplishments and it is good to know what she is doing. She has a good life and appears to be happy.

I really don't want to get my hopes up. I am just trying to take life as it comes. Some days are just hard that's all.

[Found at last]

(((Patty))) My heart goes out to you. Every day I think about my daughter.

Found