| Welcome to the Forums. | Register |
| If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ. You may have to register before you can post or search: click here to proceed. To start viewing messages, select a forum below that you would like to view or click View All of Todays Posts. | |
| Forum Categories |
|
 |
|
|
Thread Tools | Search this Thread | Display Modes |
|
#1
06-08-2005, 06:50 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
ripples in the water ... 9 months and counting
So this month was my sons 9 month old mark and I can feel the "ripples in the water" already. 3 more months and he will be one years old !! I dont know how I am going to handle this at all. I cant be there for his first birthday I dont get to watch him make a mess of him self with his very first birthday cake I dont get to see him "open" his very first presents. I dont get to see my son turn one !! His very first birthday and I dont get to see it or be a part of it !! This is going to come crashing down on me like a HUGE pile of bricks. I cry my self to sleep thinking about it even now. How am I not supposed to think about it this is my son. Every day the thoughts of him swarm my mind more and more ... normal I suppose but still painful. Some times I can fight back the tears and other times they flow like a river and I am un able to stop them. My down times are the worst for that. That is the only time I dont have something else to take my mind off of my little guy. Some times the little boy I work with will trigger some thought toward my son and I wonder what he is doing now is he crawling is he trying to walk what kinda of noises does he make. I have a fear that I maybe forgetting what my son smells like and feels like and sounds like. That scares me more than anything.
I have to go to work so I can't carry on like this right now I have to pull my self together and get moving
__________________
birthmother to Zachary Stephen Born 10-5-04 mother to Tatum Ann Marie born 12-13-02 " I believe that God made me for a purpose... and when I run I feel his pleasure." Harold Abrahams Chariots of fire "In the place of suffering there is a God worth worshipping .... on these wings of worship we shall rise." Jason Upton " Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him " Aldous Huxley James 1:2-5 , James 1:12, Psalm 84, Psalm 59:9-10 
|
Pregnancy Information
Pregnancy Websites
|
#2
06-08-2005, 01:09 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Loads of ((((hugs)))), brought memories flooding back to me reading your post but this is the first year I'm looking forward to my son's birthday - it was 5 days after his birthday that I found him last year.
Philippa
|
|
#3
06-08-2005, 01:21 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
(((((Faith)))))
I'm so sorry you're hurting. I wish I could do something to help!
__________________
"When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable." ~Madeline L'Engle
|
|
#4
06-08-2005, 03:55 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I'll keep you in my preys... I'm not at this point yet shes only a month old... BuT i worry this too evryday...
__________________
In all his glory, Kathy 1st mommy too AbiGail Hope Dorty W. Better knew as Hope born May 3rd,2005 TPR June 3, 2005 Last vist still to come May the roads rise to meet you, May the winds always be at you face, May the sun shine warm upon your face, The rains fall soft upon your fields, And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
|
|
#5
06-09-2005, 11:41 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Thank you every one, Philippa thank you for the pm have not responded to it yet but it is nice to know you are thinking about me .. I am also glad to hear that your son found you !! that is something that I look forward to .. hoping and wishing and praying that it comes.
I am still waiting for this months pictures .. It is driving me crazy .. I want to see my son I want to know what he is doing but at the same time I dont know how this time around will be .. each time I get pictures as I get closer to his birthday it gets harder and harder to look at them . I rip open the letter to look then I put them in the photo album I have for him and dont really look again until the next set comes it is to hard right now for me to look ... it becomes more and more of a realisation of what I am missing !! Anyway thank you all for your response and for your prayers they are need alot right now !! jess
__________________
birthmother to Zachary Stephen Born 10-5-04 mother to Tatum Ann Marie born 12-13-02 " I believe that God made me for a purpose... and when I run I feel his pleasure." Harold Abrahams Chariots of fire "In the place of suffering there is a God worth worshipping .... on these wings of worship we shall rise." Jason Upton " Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him " Aldous Huxley James 1:2-5 , James 1:12, Psalm 84, Psalm 59:9-10
|
|
«
Previous Thread
|
Next Thread
»
| Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
Linear Mode
|
|
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:04 PM.
