[BabyGirlChapman]

Hi,
I thought I'd add to this post. Ive been suffering from depression for about 5 years now. Ive also have had a hard time with feeling loved ever since I can remember. I was adopted at birth and have always felt I had to be the perfect daughter for my adopted parents. Earlier this summer I met my birthfather and found out that I was nobody except a bother to him. He didn't have a care in the world for me. I'm still trying to find my birthmother but all the info I have is lies. So right now I'm having a really hard time feeling loved and I'm pushing everyone away. We'll I know my post is sort of a downer, sorry. I hope you all have a great night.

Michelle

[sspete]

Your post broke my heart!!!! Please know that you are SOMEBODY SPECIAL!!!! Sometimes people can be so uncaring and unloving to the ones we are suppose to love the most!!!! Start to discover who YOU are and that perfection is for NO ONE!!!! We can TRY FOREVER, and NEVER reach perfection. Anyone who expects this of you has the problem not YOU!!!! It is my hope and prayer for you that you will understand YOU are a precious person who needs no one to make you feel good. Peace begins on the inside!!! My prayers are with you......Blessings....

S Pete

[clara]

Babygirl,

welcome. never feel the need to apologise how you feel when you post on this forum. Your feelings are as valid as anyone else's and there is no need at all to be defensive about them or excuse yourself for feeling down.

There are many reasons why you feel it hard to feel loved and why you push people away.Fundamentally it is a natural reaction when we become emotionally overprotective of our emotional vulnerability. It is perfectly normal and in no way makes you less worthy or loveable as a person.
SPete, you are absolutely right.
"Start to discover who YOU are and that perfection is for NO ONE!!!! We can TRY FOREVER, and NEVER reach perfection. Anyone who expects this of you has the problem not YOU!!!!"

This realistaion though does not happen overnight, it is the result of a journey of self discovery: and you have made your first tentative step already, by making the choice to share yourself wih us.

Please feel free to speak openly: Private Messages is always an option when you might want to speak about more private issues.

Know simply you are among friends and no here judges you.

And as for your bfather's reaction: he loses more in this I believe than he realises. If and when you feel ready to share more of your story, you might find yourself in a lovinf family of strangers and discover what you ahve experienced and are feeling is far more common than you might be thinking.

affectionately

[KellyStacy]

I read your message and my heart goes out to you.I want to adopt a child myself very much so,and often wondered how an adopted child feels.Its hard for me to imagine you do not feel loved.Your adoptive parents surely love you.Can't you talk to them and tell them how you feel? Do they know you are depressed? Communication is very important.Why do you feel you have to be the perfect adopted child? I can imagine being adopted is not easy and I am sure every adopted child goes through a period of sadness.Have you found your biological parents? Sometimes that is not the answer to your being depressed.I think you should talk to your adopted parents tell them how you feel and work from there.Know that you are special and you are greatly loved by all (your biological family,and your adoptive family) and always know that God loves you! I hope things work out but start communicating your feelings should mean something and you should let them be known.Don't keep everything bottled up inside let your feelings show.Please don't let your depression go on,talking with someone will usually help.

[swimbabe]

Don't feel like no one cares about you just because your bfather has decided to push you away. My son's bfather has pretended that he never had a child. He's pushed both of us out of his life and is now in another state with a new girlfriend. Sometimes that's the easy way for guys to deal with their feelings....just pretend nothing ever happened. But I love my son very much. I think about him everyday and hope he will know how much I care. The reason that I placed him for adoption is because of the overwhelming love that I have for him, not because I wanted him out of my life. Even though his bfather has tried to forget everything, he was in as much pain as I was when we handed our little boy over two days after his birth. We held each other for hours and just cried. I'm sure he cares, even if it doesn't seem like it. Don't lose hope.

[BabyGirlChapman]

Hi,
I know this post is from several years ago. But I just wanted to let everyone know that I now know that I AM LOVED. By God's grace I am free from the depression and the feelings of not being loved. My Adoptive parents love me so much and I can feel that. Thank you for your support and for the other adoptees out there not feeling loved, know that you ARE loved!

Michelle