[Randa]

When I was pregnant w/the son I gave to adoption, I told the bfather. Later I found out that a friend of his told him that it wasn't his (which could not be true). I never got to talk to him after that. Matthew, our son, is 14 now. I found the bfathers address (which I have been looking for for years). Should I tell him about Matthew? Should I wait until the day that Matthew may look for us, then let bfather know? I'm so confused.

Randa
bmom to Matthew (1/5/89)
mom to Aja(10), Nick(8), Eli(5), & Emily(2)

[Sharon]

Randa, I think you should get in contact with the b-father now and straighten all this out BEFORE Matthew comes looking for you and his b-father. You wouldn't want these doubts to taint Matthew's relationship with his b-father. Also, you wouldn't want these unfounded rumors to reach Matthew's ears. Do everything you can to convince the birthfather that he is indeed the biological father. I'm afraid if he has doubts, even unexpressed ones, it might somehow interfere with any possible future relationship with your son. At the very least, it will complicate things, and your son will have trouble knowing what to believe.
My best advice is to contact b-father as soon as possible and try to straighten this out. Best wishes, ~Sharon

[Randa]

Thank you Sharon. That does help me in making my decision.

Randa
bmom to Matthew (1/5/89)
mom to Aja(10), Nick(8), Eli(5), & Emily(2)

[Talia]

I am a birthmother who decided nine years ago to not tell the birthfather about his daughter - "THIS WAS/IS A HUGE MISTAKE"- I should have told him about his daughter - allowed him the opportunity to make his own decisions - I have regretted the decisions that I have made since day one...

Please straighten out any misconceptions NOW... Do whatever is necessary in order to make these two connect. You will Thank Yourself later...

You can read my story/thread - "Birthfather - Nine Years Later" -

Good Luck -
Talia's Mom

[Randa]

Talia's Mom,
Thank you so much for your advice. As scary as it may seem I think I am going to go ahead and send him the letter I have already written.
Hugs to you, and your situation will be in our prayers.

Randa
bmom to Matthew (1/5/89)
mom to Aja(10) , Nick(8) , Eli(5) , & Emily(2)

[Talia]

I am so glad that you have decided to contact your son's birthfather - I hope that all goes well for you - and that you are able to resolve all past conflicts.

Please let me know how it goes - I am curious as to his reaction... and resolution.

All My Love & Best Wishes
Talia's Mom