[doksdarlin]

I am seeing a man, who I love dearly. He has four children, none of whom I have met. One of his children he sees occationally, but he lives in Indiana and we live in North Carolina. Two of his children live in the Phillipines and he has talked to them online and by email, but hasn't seen them in years. His youngest child, was taken from him and his ex wife because she was an alcoholic and used drugs. Her family in Indiana took him from them both, he tried to fight it, but they knew people inthe court system. He said he was trying to help his wife get help and for that he lost his child. He has to pay child support but has not seen him in about 13 years. Is this wrong or what? If they ask him to pay to support him, shouldn't he be allowed to see his son?
He can't even talk about Thomas without getting upset. He gets very depressed sometimes and I wonder if that doesn't cause some of it. I can't imagine losing my child like that. They kidnapped him from daycare while he was at work. He drove to Indiana looking for him. Went to the police there and everything, they just made him out to be as bad or worse than his wife. She eventually left and went back to Indiana because she couldn't take it.
I want to help but I don't know how. I have a 6 year old and he's good with her. I think it's good for him, he hasn't been ablt to raise his own children, but he's helping me with mine now.

[kenna-lily]

my husband and I went through sort of the same thing. After a year we did get custody of his four year old daughter. I do know that in the state of Texas where I 'm from, you can be court ordered to pay child-support and have your rights taken away as-well. That usually only happens in extreme cases when the father has had no relationship with the child though.

There is a Fathers Rights group out of the Florida area I beleive. They offered some good advice to us . But the BEST advice I can give you is prayer. Thats what I had to do. It may turn out that your husband won't get to see his son until he is grown. So just pray that everyones hearts become softened over time. Pray for your husbands emotional well being. God knows your heart and wants to bless you with what ever it desires. Give it all to him and don't worry. Everything will work out. I know because I have been there.

I'll be thinking of you,
kenna-lily