[Decision]

I am having a very difficult time healing from rejection from my sons family, My mind tells me that they do not want to converse because they are respecting their (my) sons wishes, but at the same time I have this feeling that they dont want to see me as a real person. Rejection from my son is coming much easier to me as he is so very young and I understand how difficult it is to go through teenage life without the added emotions that a reunion can cause.
As his parents are adults their words to me just dont sit right in my mind, again I do understand they need to respect their (my)sons request on them not giving me more information on him, but their is still so many questions that they can answer, without speaking about him. How do I heal from this? How do I get over this feeling that I have that they dont want to contact me because of their own feelings? I hear all the time about closed adoptions being opened and how much they benifit the child and the other family. I have this feeling that they are of the age were "as if born to them" is still alive and well. Why do I get the feeling that they dont see me as a real person?
I would be grateful to hear from anyone going through a simular situation.
formerly
a_mothers_love

[Decision]

Nancy, you hit the nail on the head, the untruths that they have heard has formed a different person than I am...in their minds. You are right we can "defend" ourselves until the cows come home but will it change how they purseve us? a big affirmative no to that question. I like you am sitting in a corner as well, for on one hand my respect for my son is huge and I would not just enter his life without his say so, but on the other hand I hear the accusations of the parents (not in word) and feel that I must defend myself as a person. It makes no sense to me that some adoptive parents are so unwilling to see that we are real and deserve respect. I know that I will never understand how adoptive parents view their childrens other mothers, but I wish there was someway to remind them that without us they would not be parents, perhaps this is what they want to ignore, I know it doesnt make it right. So why are we always the ones left out in the cold?
JMT
Formerly
a_mothers_love

[Nissa]

You know how emotionally unstable every teenager is- I'm sure he will grow out of it as we all do and love you even more for respecting his wishes.. His aparents are probably just respecting his wishes as you would if he were your ason. Just look on the bright side he will be a father some day and truly understand your ultimate sacrifice.