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    <title>Adoption.com Community Forums</title>
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    <description>Adoption.com Community Forums</description>
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    <pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 15:37:44 +0000</pubDate>
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    <item>
      <title>Trial Set...Have questions!</title>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 11:19:15 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/texas-foster-adoption/416496-trial-sethave-questions.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[Our little one's trial is set for a couple of weeks from now.   What generally occurs on this day?  The caseworkers have asked us to be present and we will be speaking to the judge from what I'm told. Do the rights typically get terminated on this day?

Also - Once rights are terminated, how fast...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[Our little one's trial is set for a couple of weeks from now. :cheer:  What generally occurs on this day?  The caseworkers have asked us to be present and we will be speaking to the judge from what I'm told. Do the rights typically get terminated on this day?

Also - Once rights are terminated, how fast do we go back to court to get the adoption finalized? We've had our little one since he was 3 weeks old straight from the hospital. He is about to turn a year old.  

Any advice is greatly appreciated as usual! :)]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>Menani</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 11:19:15 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Short term placement services?</title>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 20:26:24 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416520-short-term-placement-services.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[I just posted that we got a little girl tonight who should be a short term placement...we only took her on the condition that she would be placed in a foster home within the next month. She has a little brother born 2 days ago in the NICU and so the plan is when he is released in about a week, they...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[I just posted that we got a little girl tonight who should be a short term placement...we only took her on the condition that she would be placed in a foster home within the next month. She has a little brother born 2 days ago in the NICU and so the plan is when he is released in about a week, they will find a home for both of them. Not sure how long that will take, but for sure she will be gone in a month (we cannot keep her longer than that because of other reasons).
Anyway, she is 1 so she qualifies for WIC, Medicaid, and should get a clothing allowance because it's her first time in care. I am assuming she may already have the first two things with her mom...but don't know anything about her yet except her first name. They should know more after court on Friday.
Assuming she isn't signed up (or she is but needs to be switched to us) do I sign her up for all this stuff? I don't know if I go ahead and do this or if we should wait until her permanent foster home does.]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>moesyk4</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 20:26:24 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Quick help! Emergency placement and bedbugs</title>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 17:05:51 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416514-quick-help-emergency-placement-bedbugs.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[This is my biggest fear is ending up with bedbugs...we are taking an emergency placement of a little 1 year old girl and CW said her stuff is full of bedbugs..obviously she is not sending the stuff but I'm assuming she probably has them on her? What do I do to make sure we don't get them?]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[This is my biggest fear is ending up with bedbugs...we are taking an emergency placement of a little 1 year old girl and CW said her stuff is full of bedbugs..obviously she is not sending the stuff but I'm assuming she probably has them on her? What do I do to make sure we don't get them?]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>moesyk4</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 17:05:51 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>International adoption tax credit + IRS; adoptive families audited</title>
      <pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 08:06:48 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/international-adoption-support/416528-international-adoption-tax-credit-irs-adoptive-families-audited.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[IRS Morality: Defend Planned Parenthood, Deluge Adoptive Families with Audits | National Review Online

Just thought this was an interesting article. I posted this in adoption finances as well.]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[[url=http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/349077/irs-morality-defend-planned-parenthood-deluge-adoptive-families-audits-david-french]IRS Morality: Defend Planned Parenthood, Deluge Adoptive Families with Audits | National Review Online[/url]

Just thought this was an interesting article. I posted this in adoption finances as well.]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>Southernmomma</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 08:06:48 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>18th birthday gift - practical or fun?</title>
      <pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 08:05:50 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416527-18th-birthday-gift-practical-fun.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[She's headed to living in a college dorm in the fall, has financial aid in place and an on campus job set up. 

We have been discussing her 18th birthday gift.  My husband leans towards something practical - like paying for a year of cell phone service (she has a smart phone on a prepaid plan...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[She's headed to living in a college dorm in the fall, has financial aid in place and an on campus job set up. 

We have been discussing her 18th birthday gift.  My husband leans towards something practical - like paying for a year of cell phone service (she has a smart phone on a prepaid plan already, so we'd just top up the account).  I was thinking something more fun but still useful like a tablet or a laptop so she won't have to use the campus computers.  

Thoughts?]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>aka.mama.k</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 08:05:50 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Adoption tax credit + IRS article; adoptive families audited</title>
      <pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 08:03:50 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/adoption-finances/416526-adoption-tax-credit-irs-article-adoptive-families-audited.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[Thought this was an interesting article, just wanted to share. I will post this in internation adoption as well.

IRS Morality: Defend Planned Parenthood, Deluge Adoptive Families with Audits | National Review Online]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[Thought this was an interesting article, just wanted to share. I will post this in internation adoption as well.

[url=http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/349077/irs-morality-defend-planned-parenthood-deluge-adoptive-families-audits-david-french]IRS Morality: Defend Planned Parenthood, Deluge Adoptive Families with Audits | National Review Online[/url]]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>Southernmomma</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 08:03:50 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Teens are confusing!</title>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 15:06:55 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416509-teens-confusing.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[Senior was having what amounts to a temper tantrum this afternoon with yelling and slamming doors.  Not because I set rules she didn't like but as far as I can tell, because she likes it here or maybe likes me.

I pick her and Teen+ up from school because it gives Senior more time to do her...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[Senior was having what amounts to a temper tantrum this afternoon with yelling and slamming doors.  Not because I set rules she didn't like but as far as I can tell, because she likes it here or maybe likes me.

I pick her and Teen+ up from school because it gives Senior more time to do her homework before she goes to work.  Today she mentioned it was an ice cream day.  And it was pretty warm so we stopped for ice cream.  

She started crying in her ice cream in the car and when we got home she just exploded.  She sounded pissed. She says we're "too easy to live with." That makes zero sense to me.  

Can someone help me understand this?]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>aka.mama.k</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 15:06:55 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>3pm placement meeting</title>
      <pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 08:00:43 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416525-3pm-placement-meeting.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[We have a placement meeting today regarding the 9 yr old who's foster mom has cancer . I posted before on how the child is in respite care but has to be moved. While talking to the CW when she called this morning to confirm appointment I asked her why .. &quot;L&quot;needed to be removed from the...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[We have a placement meeting today regarding the 9 yr old who's foster mom has cancer . I posted before on how the child is in respite care but has to be moved. While talking to the CW when she called this morning to confirm appointment I asked her why .. "L"needed to be removed from the respite home.  CW said it was due to 2 things , there is another child that is being difficult in the home and  they don't want "L" to regress ,&  the caregiver  has her quota of placements .With" L" the caregiver currently has 3 children in respite , 1 to many for what she is licensed for.
So looks like if all goes well we will be getting placement for "L" for respite care until they find out about foster mom's cancer . If she is not returned to her then we have the option to keep her .
Wish us luck it's a good match .]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>countrygirl16</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 08:00:43 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>New Placement and I am so ANGRY!!!</title>
      <pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 13:16:39 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416468-new-placement-i-am-so-angry.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[We got a call for a new little one, coming straight from the hospital she had been life flown too, 5 days prior. Although our placement lady told us &quot;normal baby care&quot; was discharge instructions. So that's what I expected-- well baby girl is a HOT mess, broken hand, arm, foot...scars...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[We got a call for a new little one, coming straight from the hospital she had been life flown too, 5 days prior. Although our placement lady told us "normal baby care" was discharge instructions. So that's what I expected-- well baby girl is a HOT mess, broken hand, arm, foot...scars everywhere!!! Perfectly round cigarette  looking ones. She is grossly under weight, at age 2 she fits a 12 month clothing size at 17 pounds. Her front three teeth are busted in half. I can handle allllllll that -even though I had to page the doctor in charge of her at 1 in the morning to get permission for Tylenol for pain. The trauma that caused the brain bleed that resulted in CPR to revive her to be flown out has given her a massive bruise on her head. She is so hungry, but her mouth hurts so bad, she tries and just won't .....I have emailed 6 times today!!!! To the worker and the supervisor to PLEASE get me the medical like NOW stat!!! This baby needs a dentist, she has nerve root exposed and is in so much pain. BOTH workers have told me just to wait because mom will get her back either tommorrow or the next day!!!! Is this real life!?!?! Like any human on this planet would deal with this for days!!! This is so inhumane I CANNOT stand it!!! Watching this baby have this many injuries and wallow in pain because they can't get me a freaking form for permission is unacceptable!!! I hate this system. My heart is shattered for this baby!!!!]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>lovin2boys</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 13:16:39 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Stealing - long and probably mostly a vent</title>
      <pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 07:21:54 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416524-stealing-long-probably-mostly-vent.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[So about every other week FD steals something, usually from school and usually from her teacher.  Always stupid, random, little things, yesterday it was post-it notes.  (If she hadn't tried to hide them behind her carseat when I asked to see her backpack I probably wouldn't have even caught this...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[So about every other week FD steals something, usually from school and usually from her teacher.  Always stupid, random, little things, yesterday it was post-it notes.  (If she hadn't tried to hide them behind her carseat when I asked to see her backpack I probably wouldn't have even caught this one.)  Teacher is not FD favorate person, but FD desperatly wants teacher's attention.  Teacher doesn't "get" FD, and has not been consistant with rewards or punishments.  

To me it seems that stealing is what she does when she wants to get in trouble.  I'll freely admit that stealing drives me nuts and ticks me off.  (yes I know my reaction doesn't help matters)  So when she steals she gets lectured, sent to her room, and the next morning she gets walked to her class and must return the item and admit what she did. (I have made her pay for the item with something of her own, also)  I don't feel like the teacher is adding any additional punishment on to what I'm doing.  Last time I did this the teacher had her on green that day.  The reason I say she does this when she wants to get in trouble, is based on past event.  When something stresses FD out she internalizes it and usually starts to act out at school until she gets in trouble.  If I track stealing, I can usually link it to therapy, CW, sibling visits, and court.  FD will also try to self punish, by trying to increasing her punishment time or changing her method of punishment.  

Well last night as I'm making FD talk about stealing she tells me she steals to be like her BM/BD.  So I tell her that if she wants to be like them she should pick the good things to copy.  BD-art, BM - ok I drew a blank on this one, I ended up with cooking, because she made beef noodle soup (ramen).  Past conversations about stealing have lead to her saying that she wants to go to jail, because that is where her family is.  My only response to that one was to tell her it wouldn't work, because kids and grownups go to different jails.  

It just drives me nuts at a 7 y.o. thinks she should end up in jail.  Anyone have ideas for building self-worth and esteme?]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>DreamGaz</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 07:21:54 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Us And India Hague Vertified Adoption Attornerys</title>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 05:52:17 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/india-adoption/416485-us-india-hague-vertified-adoption-attornerys.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[Since we are thinking of adopting my husband's brothers child(babys mum died at delivery). I am thinking of hiring an attorney to guide us thru the process.  Does anyone recommend any Attorney in USA AND INDIA Who are Hague certified for US-INDIA ADOPTION??
IT IS IMP That  they are HAGUE Certified.]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[Since we are thinking of adopting my husband's brothers child(babys mum died at delivery). I am thinking of hiring an attorney to guide us thru the process.  Does anyone recommend any Attorney in USA AND INDIA Who are Hague certified for US-INDIA ADOPTION??
IT IS IMP That  they are HAGUE Certified.]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>NeedABaby</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 05:52:17 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Using Foster Child as an Excuse - Moral/Ethical?</title>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 18:16:44 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416515-using-foster-child-excuse-moralethical.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[So, here's the deal. I have a niece in another state who graduates this week. Due to some incident that she was accused of, and insists (of course) that she didn't do, they are not letting her walk with her class at the ceremony on Friday. I was planning to go and put BE in respite with his auntie...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[So, here's the deal. I have a niece in another state who graduates this week. Due to some incident that she was accused of, and insists (of course) that she didn't do, they are not letting her walk with her class at the ceremony on Friday. I was planning to go and put BE in respite with his auntie until I found out she couldn't walk. Then they were going to do a thing on Friday evening. Now it is on Saturday at noon. (They are going to put on a "walk" at her house.)

So, I got my travel voucher from the CW, and only had to ask once! But, here's the deal. I do not want to drive 3.5 miles with two toddlers when she isn't really doing the formal ceremony. While she is my niece, we have never been *that* close, and my other family will be there. AND, it is Memorial Day weekend, and I am so stressed out, I could use a weekend of gardening and preparing my kitchen to get my floor replaced.

So, would it be morally wrong if I use BE as an excuse as to why I can't come? I was just going to say that the person who was going to watch him backed out and that I can't take him without a voucher and it is too late to get one. (They don't need to know I already have one.) And did I mention, this trip would require a 100$ hotel stayover at a hotel with only smoking rooms available, and I am very sensitive to smoke. 

So, for once, can I use him as an excuse. I don't want to hurt my niece's feelings by saying she doesn't mean enough for the trip, but the truth is, she will have her friends there and all, and she won't even miss me. I'll still send her a check.]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>TemporaryMom</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 18:16:44 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Indiana Adoption Only - NE Indiana</title>
      <pubDate>Wed, 20 Feb 2013 06:47:22 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/indiana-foster-adoption/413332-indiana-adoption-only-ne-indiana.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[My husband and I made the decision to go through the &quot;Adopt only,&quot; program through DCS. We go for our first RAPT class in March. I am looking for mentors and friends to talk about their journey in the system and what experiences you have had. It was a tough decision to decide to not...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[My husband and I made the decision to go through the "Adopt only," program through DCS. We go for our first RAPT class in March. I am looking for mentors and friends to talk about their journey in the system and what experiences you have had. It was a tough decision to decide to not foster - and I am having a hard time finding other friends who are going through the "adoption only," route - and I am hoping I can connect with someone on this forum.

So far I have had good communication with the state coordinate - but I just want to make sure my expectations of a timeline are realistic. 

Please reach out! Thanks, Mama2be2013]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>mama2be2013</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Wed, 20 Feb 2013 06:47:22 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>DNA testing?</title>
      <pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 17:54:29 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/the-wait-reunite/416476-dna-testing.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[Has anyone gone through the process of having DNA testing done?

I don't just mean to confirm paternity/maternity when meeting birth family members (though that's valid, too). I've seen a few companies out there that will give you a break down of your genetics - health and ancestry - and that seems...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[Has anyone gone through the process of having DNA testing done?

I don't just mean to confirm paternity/maternity when meeting birth family members (though that's valid, too). I've seen a few companies out there that will give you a break down of your genetics - health and ancestry - and that seems particularly appealing in the face of not knowing ANYTHING at all about my birth father.

I was wondering if anyone else took this path and had feedback (good/bad) about one of the DNA testing companies? If so, I'd appreciate hearing it...]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>emerald23</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 17:54:29 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>They're back and I wish they had just stayed.</title>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 18:56:49 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416516-theyre-back-i-wish-they-had-just-stayed.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[So today Lil Miss and Mr. Man came back! Boy did I miss them especially that Boy.  He has gotten so big in the last 8 months.  But boy they are all over the place. Throwing things , breaking stuff and generally running a muck.  It is understandable, I can only imagine what is going thru their...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[:happydance: 
So today Lil Miss and Mr. Man came back! Boy did I miss them especially that Boy.  He has gotten so big in the last 8 months.  But boy they are all over the place. Throwing things , breaking stuff and generally running a muck.  It is understandable, I can only imagine what is going thru their heads. They have been to 3 different homes in a month..  It was heartbreaking putting them to bed and listening to them cry for their Aunt.  It breaks my heart they should have just let them with us if they weren't in it for the long haul.]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>jhuck</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 18:56:49 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Court Questions...And who calls the shots?</title>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 13:48:02 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416503-court-questionsand-who-calls-shots.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[So court for Daisy is not until mid-July- but time FLIES and if you've figured anything out about me- I am not content if I don't have something to stress out about.  Not really. Well maybe a little.

Anyway- I ask tons of questions, I read...but I realize now and again how little I *really*...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[So court for Daisy is not until mid-July- but time FLIES and if you've figured anything out about me- I am not content if I don't have something to stress out about. :) Not really. Well maybe a little.

Anyway- I ask tons of questions, I read...but I realize now and again how little I *really* understand about this whole process. So for anyone who has been there- I have a couple of questions as to how our case may progress...in terms of timelines and process.

So this next date is a review. I am still not sure what all that means. Will Daisy's worker be expected to present facts of the case so far? Whether or not mom has made any attempt to follow her plan (she doesn't have an official RU plan at this point- this is Daisy's second time in care and mom is using drugs-so the "plan" right now is just for her to make an effort to get clean). I do not think they are really trying to prove paternity at this point which surprises me...but maybe they will talk about that?

She mentioned that if mom is not doing anything, she may request at court that reasonable efforts for RU are waived. Does that require a separate hearing? Maybe Lemonpie could weigh in if she is reading? :) She said she was going to speak to Daisy's GAL about it.

I am trying to prepare myself for what to expect...but I am also curious- do the judges wait for recommendations by the CW's...or do they do their own thing...or is it a joint effort. Do the CW's communicate with the judge and GAL leading up to court- or is it all just laid out there at the actual review hearing?

We plan to be there. Do we introduce ourselves to the judge and GAL? How do you go about that?

We never had to think about any of this with Squeaks, court was all about just trying to see if the bios would show.

Also Daisy's worker said she would never discourage me from court- but NOT to bring Daisy (I wasn't planning on it!) and that we may not want to meet Daisy's mom, assuming she shows. I am not sure what that means...I mean, if we ever get to visits we will have to meet her eventually, right?

She also said they may not allow us in court- but that totally contradicts what our LW says- that FP's are welcome in court.

So...any insight would be appreciated! :)

On a slightly related subject, Daisy's SW mentioned that "at some point, we may want to have contact with her grandparents and sister, just so they can know she is safe and doing well". Is that something we should offer to do now? Would there be any harm in that? I want them to know she is safe and well cared for. I know mom is wacked out on drugs but I believe the family is okay.]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>BS1979</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 13:48:02 +0000</pubDate>
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    <item>
      <title>Hehehehehe...of course you are!</title>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 09:58:36 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416492-heheheheheof-course-you-are.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[Sigh...please know up front, I get that there are worse things...and I have NO intention of complaining to the AW or anyone else. I just have to laugh. 

As most of you know, we thought it was finally settled for Mr Man...that we would pick him up on Friday for the *final time* and he would be...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[Sigh...please know up front, I get that there are worse things...and I have NO intention of complaining to the AW or anyone else. I just have to laugh. 

As most of you know, we thought it was finally settled for Mr Man...that we would pick him up on Friday for the *final time* and he would be officially transitioned here on Monday...but, noooooo....of course it isn't *really* going to be that simple. 

Apparently NO ONE thought to contact MM's CASA...at all...dude had NO clue any of this was even happening. Yep. SO...now we have a meeting on Tuesday where the CASA and everyone else is present to officially notify him and move MM. AND...now...we are picking MM up Friday...keeping him through Monday, taking him back to the FF Tuesday for a "goodbye visit"(because apparently in the last year they did not have time to say goodbye..please don't misunderstand me...I get the need for one. But, REALLY? They couldn't do that between NOW and Friday when we will pick him up? We really have to make him go through one more drive back up that hill to the place he dreads? I don't get it)...then we get him back Wednesday afternoon and he is here permanently. :arrow: I do not get it. I just don't. But, whatever...I knew it could not be that simple..and at this point, we are getting off easy as far as dealing with "The Department" is concerned. 

I am considering asking if we could do this "goodbye visit" the following weekend instead of disrupting his week like this. But, I guess we'll see...right now, with all he has been through and is facing, I suppose this is minor. Sheesh.]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>hopefulandwatching</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 09:58:36 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Waiting for our first call!</title>
      <pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 11:13:18 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416462-waiting-our-first-call.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[We had our home safety inspection yesterday.  It was a breeze.  Only asked to see a few things, and looked at the room.  

That was our last step, so we were recommended to be licensed yesterday.  She said we could start receiving calls
as early as next week.  She mentioned they have been slow...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[We had our home safety inspection yesterday.  It was a breeze.  Only asked to see a few things, and looked at the room.  

That was our last step, so we were recommended to be licensed yesterday.  She said we could start receiving calls
as early as next week.  She mentioned they have been slow right now, so I am not getting too excited that it will be soon, but who knows?

Overall, I am just so happy with how our licensing process has gone.  I was so worried about it, but the classes were a wonderful experience.  We started classes before anything else had been done, so we were a little slower to get licensed, but still not bad since we started mid-Feb!
:clap:]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>sparkle12</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 11:13:18 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Moldova</title>
      <pubDate>Sun, 18 Nov 2012 11:12:47 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/eastern-europe-general-support/410059-moldova.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[Hello!  I love these boards, and confess to reading the Russia forum daily!  (Such relevant information, and heartwarming stories.)  

I was hoping to reach out to see if anyone else out there is adopting from Moldova? I am a mom-to-be adopting from this small EE country.]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[Hello!  I love these boards, and confess to reading the Russia forum daily!  (Such relevant information, and heartwarming stories.)  

I was hoping to reach out to see if anyone else out there is adopting from Moldova? I am a mom-to-be adopting from this small EE country.]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>fla.sunshine</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Sun, 18 Nov 2012 11:12:47 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Help with DV Trauma</title>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 20:14:22 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416518-help-dv-trauma.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[I've had BG for about a year, give or take.  He currently 4.  He's made progress but we've reached a stand still.  Our SSW suggested we try in home services.  The lady that does it has suggested that Big Guy's hyperactivity and ADHD may be less about chemical issues and more about DV.  

While in...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[I've had BG for about a year, give or take.  He currently 4.  He's made progress but we've reached a stand still.  Our SSW suggested we try in home services.  The lady that does it has suggested that Big Guy's hyperactivity and ADHD may be less about chemical issues and more about DV.  

While in the home he witnessed some pretty extreme DV.  Why didn't anyone think of this before?!?!  One suggestion was for us to tell him when we are leaving the room and what we are doing.  It was amazing!   It immediately took him down a notch or two.  Any BTDT advice from the trenches for other ways to lesson his hyper-vigilance and associated behaviors?]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>missygooch</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 20:14:22 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Can they REALLY just ignore me!?!?!</title>
      <pubDate>Thu, 16 May 2013 04:30:48 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416310-can-they-really-just-ignore-me.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[I made it clear BEFORE we accepted Liza that we had a family vacation planned next week out of state. Its my sons graduation trip and I WILL NOT miss it.  I was promised respite wouldnt be a problem. I would take Liza with us but the vehicle is full, we'd have to take a 2nd car. I asked Lizas CW,...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[I made it clear BEFORE we accepted Liza that we had a family vacation planned next week out of state. Its my sons graduation trip and I WILL NOT miss it.  I was promised respite wouldnt be a problem. I would take Liza with us but the vehicle is full, we'd have to take a 2nd car. I asked Lizas CW, she didnt know anything about it and was more interested in tellling me about HER vaction plans, she'll be MIA for the next 2 weeks. great :rolleyes: . She suggested I call placement (who made the promise of respite). Ive called placement 3 times and left messeges.  No answers and no returned calls. Can they just IGNORE me? I mean seriously? What am I supposed to do? Ive never used respite before, I dont even know any other FPs (Another reason this site is a blessing to me) or Id try to arrange it myself. Im getting worried we leave Sunday night and nothings been arranged yet!]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>SoccerMom70</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Thu, 16 May 2013 04:30:48 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>End it?</title>
      <pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 14:52:15 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/adoptee-support/416471-end-it.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[There are a few of you here who are familiar with the chronicles of my relationship with my a-father; those same few of you may remember when I posted about seven weeks ago about we had an argument that turned physical.

Fast-forward to mid April, when we have that ever-dreaded conversation about...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[[size=1]There are a few of you here who are familiar with the chronicles of my relationship with my a-father; those same few of you may remember when I posted about seven weeks ago about we had an argument that turned physical.

Fast-forward to mid April, when we have that ever-dreaded conversation about love and feelings, and he informs me that he still doesn't really view me as his son and won't ever have the love for me that he has for "his two kids".

Ever since that conversation, I hate being here. I'm on his health insurance as a dependent that he's been paying for since I got laid off from my job.
I just landed a job and am thinking about moving at least 30 minutes from here, but two things come up: I don't want anyone to think I "rode" him (per se, for a place to live and a way to go to the doctor) until I found another job, and I do at times wonder if the issues I have with my b-mother are influencing my desired response to him at the things he says. He's accused me of taking out "other people's stuff" on him.

If certain things hadn't happened/came out of his mouth, I honestly wouldn't be looking to run from this place like a bat out of hell.

I had to dig my birth certificate out today and seeing his name on it pissed me off. I can't win for losing. And I promise I'll stop posting threads like this, I just feel the need to get honest insight from people who get it.

Thanks again. :o[/size]]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>dectski</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 14:52:15 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Preparing for the big visit</title>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 13:36:45 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/general-adoptive-parent-support/416501-preparing-big-visit.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[We are heading out to see J's birthfamily in about a month.  We haven't seen them in person since ICPC cleared (he was about 12 days old).  As the date approaches for the visit, I am getting more and more nervous.  We are going out close enough to his birthday that we decided to throw him a little...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[We are heading out to see J's birthfamily in about a month.  We haven't seen them in person since ICPC cleared (he was about 12 days old).  As the date approaches for the visit, I am getting more and more nervous.  We are going out close enough to his birthday that we decided to throw him a little party while we are out there.  Then b-dad told us that he won't come if b-mom's family is there, so now we are planning on doing two little parties (cupcakes at a park).  I'm just wanting to avoid any animosity between the two sides of the family.

B-dad friended me on FB a couple months ago.  Today I went back and looked at old pictures he had posted.  He has an album of titled "J___ B-dad's Last Name."  That made me a little uncomfortable.  Then I looked through the pictures and they are all my pictures (which is fine), but he has written comments as if he still had J and made comments to family members about getting together so they can meet him.  These were all back when J was little (under 6 months) and he is now almost 2.  It was just a little unnerving, but at the same time I realize that it had to be hard to tell family that they placed him for adoption.  B-mom and B-dad both voluntarily signed TPR.  

I've been friends with b-mom on FB since J was born and while she would say things like "my baby boy," she never pretended that she was raising him.  I have no problem with the "my baby boy" comments, because I do feel like he will always be her baby boy in a sense as well.

We talk on the phone to both b-parents and the rapport has been good for the last two years.  Now I'm wondering if I need to confront b-dad about his comments and make sure that his family understands that we are J's legal parents and that isn't going to change.

I'm feeling conflicted.]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>DrAmanda</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 13:36:45 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Passports before/after adoption</title>
      <pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2013 06:03:42 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416418-passports-beforeafter-adoption.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[I booked us on a cruise for the end of the year. Last year when we cruised I just used goober's birth cert for id for him. Bmom was dragging her feet about going with us to apply for his passport. She waited so long I would have had to pay the extra $ for the rush job to get it issued. This was...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[I booked us on a cruise for the end of the year. Last year when we cruised I just used goober's birth cert for id for him. Bmom was dragging her feet about going with us to apply for his passport. She waited so long I would have had to pay the extra $ for the rush job to get it issued. This was also when the case was fairly new and we thought she may straighten up to get him back. That's not likely now!
My question is....... If I get him his passport or pass card will I have to reapply for one after adoption? My thoughts are yes since his parentage is changed. Can that info just be sent in to have changed like a change of address if there is no name change? He already has gpa last name.
I hate the thought of putting out the $ for a passport for him only to have to reapply before it expires. Kids expire after 5 years not 10 like adults.

He could cruise with just the birth cert again but with ask the problems carnival (the seemingly jinxed cruise line) has been having lately I'd feel better if he had a passport should we need to, for any reason, fly home from another country. (both my other grandkids have their passports).

Anyone know how this will work?]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>HereWeGoAgain</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2013 06:03:42 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>RAD and lying....</title>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 12:58:24 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416499-rad-lying.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[Do these two things go hand in hand? Twin B is a terrible liar. Every time she does something she's not supposed to (jumping on the bed, hitting, etc.) she lies and says she didn't do it. She'll do it right in front of you and lie. It's very frustrating. What have you done to combat this? Any tips...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[Do these two things go hand in hand? Twin B is a terrible liar. Every time she does something she's not supposed to (jumping on the bed, hitting, etc.) she lies and says she didn't do it. She'll do it right in front of you and lie. It's very frustrating. What have you done to combat this? Any tips or tricks?]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>MountainMommy</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 12:58:24 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Grandparents health condition/requirements</title>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 16:04:11 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/new-jersey-foster-adoption/416512-grandparents-health-conditionrequirements.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[In New Jersey, are there health requirements for grandparents who try to take in their grandchild who was placed in foster care? If so, what are they?]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[In New Jersey, are there health requirements for grandparents who try to take in their grandchild who was placed in foster care? If so, what are they?

:thanks:]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>Arimaberry320</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 16:04:11 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>OTC medicine...</title>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 16:53:21 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416513-otc-medicine.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[Ok or not ok to give foster child without speaking to dr. first?
She was miserable and I didn't want to be one of those mothers who call for everything....had a runny nose or a few days and was miserable today....going tomorrow cause now I think she has an ear infection....oh and I have only had...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[Ok or not ok to give foster child without speaking to dr. first?
She was miserable and I didn't want to be one of those mothers who call for everything....had a runny nose or a few days and was miserable today....going tomorrow cause now I think she has an ear infection....oh and I have only had her a week.]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>Justcallmeima</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 16:53:21 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Who watches kids during PATH classes / training?</title>
      <pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2013 23:08:20 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416451-who-watches-kids-during-path-classes-training.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[So those who already had children when starting this process, who watched your kids when you took all of these classes?   
My hubby and I rarely ever go out without our kids, and when we do,my mom or my sister watches my kids.   But, the PATH classes are over so many Saturdays, I really don't know...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[So those who already had children when starting this process, who watched your kids when you took all of these classes?   
My hubby and I rarely ever go out without our kids, and when we do,my mom or my sister watches my kids.   But, the PATH classes are over so many Saturdays, I really don't know how we would work that out.   
What did others do?   Crazy question, but do they let you take your kids with you to the classes?]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>freesiagirl</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2013 23:08:20 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Conn. foster mom pleads guilty for spoon-spanking</title>
      <pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 05:23:11 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416523-conn-foster-mom-pleads-guilty-spoon-spanking.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[I saw this on the national news. Poor little girl. 

Conn. foster mom pleads guilty for spoon-spanking

Read more here: NORWICH, Conn.: Conn. foster mom pleads guilty for spoon-spanking | National News | The State]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[I saw this on the national news. Poor little girl. 

Conn. foster mom pleads guilty for spoon-spanking

Read more here: [url=http://www.thestate.com/2013/05/21/2780401/conn-foster-mom-pleads-guilty.html#storylink=cpy]NORWICH, Conn.: Conn. foster mom pleads guilty for spoon-spanking | National News | The State[/url]]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>Foster1Mom</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 05:23:11 +0000</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Now I understand the phrase &amp;quot;i couldn't give them back&amp;quot;</title>
      <pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 11:42:49 +0000</pubDate>
      <link>http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/416463-now-i-understand-phrase-quoti-couldnt-give-them-back-quot.html</link>
      <description><![CDATA[I heard that phrase from almost every single nurse when we were in the hospital and while it annoyed me I completely understand now because tiny tim is completely 100% my son and even the thought of losing him sends me into a panic, doesnt help that his cw is forever &quot;hopeful&quot; that mom...]]></description>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[I heard that phrase from almost every single nurse when we were in the hospital and while it annoyed me I completely understand now because tiny tim is completely 100% my son and even the thought of losing him sends me into a panic, doesnt help that his cw is forever "hopeful" that mom will get it together despite an evaluation that says his mom will never be able to safely parent. I am so worried that they are going to send my sick special needs son home to a woman who has damaged her other kids so much that at a super young age...all under the age of 5 are considered "unadoptable". 

Ug...he has his first visit tomorrow. His cw wants me to teach his mom how to feed him a bottle bc he has to be fed a little different but I have my cw and casa worker saying that I shouldn't let her know who I am, she is that unstable. 

I am not cut out for this. If he goes home I am going back to the sperm donor route and I will be moving. I will keep fostering older munchkins until I have a baby but then I  wait until they are older and go back to fostering after I have raised my kids. 

So for those that keep at this I am in aw because I realize that this is just to hard for me and my dad.]]></content:encoded>
      <dc:creator>PerfectWings</dc:creator>
      <pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 11:42:49 +0000</pubDate>
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