[lakin11]

How do you separate the two? I know the lifebook is supposed to be about the child's family history, bios, etc. The scrapbook is supposed to be all the fun stuff.
Our kids were abandoned in a motel by their bmom so for the first 2 weeks we had them, we weren't even sure of their real names! Since that point, although bmom has been found we know virtually nothing. She has made no attempt at seeing the children. All we know about bdad is that he is in prison.
I've been working on the scrapbook b/c we've got tons of fun pictures since they've been here, b-day party, etc.

What should I do for their lifebook?
I have typed up when we got the call asking if we could take them, their reaction, etc.

Any suggestions would be great!

[LisaCA]

we've put the paperwork in dd's life book, all the documentation and what not. The scrapbook/photo album is of dd's first year, with no paperwork but our profile that bmom read. it also will have journal entries in it, with pictures and stuff. that's how we separated the two.

[jenniferw223]

This is interesting and I will have to see what everyone posts. So far I have just made a scrapbook. I typed up and put on the first page how we began our adoption journey, decided on which country, and that we wanted a boy. I really wasn't planning to do two books. I also have to book the Chosen Child that I am filling out for my son. Should I do a speerate lifebook too? What is everyone doing?

[dadfor2]

What should I do for their lifebook?
I have typed up when we got the call asking if we could take them, their reaction, etc.

thats the ending of the lifebook....lol. thats the fun stuff.

do you have any information on the birthmom, her name, her birthday, any information.

the same thing with the dad.

do you ahve the kids birth certificates...."yep, they were born like everyone else, and here is your birthcertificate"

get as much information you can.

Our kids were abandoned in a motel by their bmom so for the first 2 weeks we had them, we weren't even sure of their real names! Since that point, although bmom has been found we know virtually nothing. She has made no attempt at seeing the children. All we know about bdad is that he is in prison.

thats a start to their 'lifebook'

remember, a lifebook is about their lives, the truth, not what you think the truth is.

if you dont know the truth, then in the book say 'i dont know how old your birth mom was when she gave birth to you'

never make up anything.

the life book isnt really suppose to be a 'happy book', its suppose to be their truth and how come they ended up in the system in the first place.

so, get as much information as you possible can. if they stayed in a foster home before you, get the foster parents name and address and if there were other kids, pets....and if you can get a picture, that would be great.

pictures are the best, see if anyone has pictures of the birthfamily.

lifebooks take some time, but its very very important that kids get these books done.

one book that i bought on lifefbooks was 'beth omalleys, lifebook treasures' something like that.

it really helped with the wording for the books because you have to use age appropriate words

hope this helped

[dadfor2]

Should I do a speerate lifebook too?

hi jennifer,

a life book and a scrap book are two seperate things.

its like saying 'i gave her an apple and she wants a orange, whats the difference?'

a scrapbook is more of a moment in time, a happy memory of how you became a family (from what i gather your making your scrapbook about.)

this is great, and you should do one of those.

but a life book is about her life. where she was born, if she was in an orphanage, how she got their, who her birthparents were....any fact you can find about them.

yes, its sad stuff, but adoption isnt always happy times, there are losses involved, and your child had many losses in her young life, and she should know about them.

what good about a life book, the child will never have to wonder 'what happend' 'was it my fault' did my birth parents love me' blah blah blah

its already written down, the facts!!!!!!!! not all the questions can possible be answered, but at least some of the questions can be put to rest for our children.

im a huge advocate for lifebooks....its amazing to see what our kids do with them.....but thats a whole other thread....lol

[MissyAmomChina]

Hi,

I recently bought a guide for creating a life book for children adopted from China. This guide suggests a page is dedicated to the following topics:

1) Introduction
2) Birth page
3) Chinese Name
4) General Information about China
5) Province or local area information
6) Customs/Traditions
7) One child policy/abandonment reasons
8) Birth parents
9) abandonment
10) orphanage/ foster home
11) paperchase wait
12)CCAA "Matching"
13) Referral
14)Leaving for China
15)Adoption Day
16)Coming home day
17 Our Promise/Forever Family

I know that not all this is applicable to every adoption. I found it helpfull to see this list to understand a lifebook is used to teach concepts----in addition to giving factual information (i.e. you were born x, we met you at y).

Take care,

[florobin]

dadfor2 is correct. It's hard putting together a lifebook because you have to face some hard ugly facts especially when a child has been placed in the foster care system. Take it one day one paragraph at a time. It took me a little over a year to complete my dd lifebook. When I look back over it I feel a major sense of accomplishment.

I will not share her lifebook with anyone. It's her own personal story about a life that began not under the best circumstances.

Beth O'Malley's book is good and I followed her format for some of the wording and setting. The only thing I did differently was that I wrote it for when my dd is around 9 or 10. Another excellent book is Telling the Truth to Your Foster or Adopted Child by Betsy Keefer. She gives suggestions on how to talk to your child at various stages for various situations such as abandonment, drug use, jail, abuse, etc. It's really helpful.

I started with my dd birth and ended it after the adoption was finalized. It covers about 3 1/2 years.

I mixed the facts with some fun pages such as what happened the year she born, the final foster home she was in (the best fosterparents in the world took her to Disney World, zoo, church and exposed her to some positive things), some early artwork and what her name means.