[Lynnytte]

Has anyone had any experience with the adoption of twins? Separately or together? It seems like too much all at once for an adoptive family, but is splitting them up okay?

Lynnytte

[mvs218]

Hi. I personally think that twins should stay together. The adoptive family of my twins they had a lot of help when the girls where first born..but that is because they were premies (sp?). And watching them around each other here and there is interesting because they aren't away from each other for very long. I think that having them together is good for them. And from what i've seen and heard its an amazing experience.
Good Luck with your search

[laurajane]

From a sister who was adopted with her twin, I would have to say they must stay together. It was nice growing up knowing who at least part of my blood family was. Plus you always have a built in friend. No matter if they are adopted or biological having twins will be a handlful! We certinly were!

[KarenInBama]

I am the birthmother of twin girls who will be 13 in May. They were placed together, and I wouldn't have done it any other way.

Yeah, we can think, oh here are 2 babies, we can make 2 families happy, but then we lose sight of exactly why we chose to place. It isn't to make the families happy, it is to give our children the best life possible. So, would you be giving twins the best chance at that if they are place separately...just a little thought.

Oh, and as for it being too much on the adoptive family, I'd like to use a quote from the adoptive grandmother.."This is the best thing to happen to our family in 100 years"...does that seem too overwhelming, I think not.

[sweetnoodle]

I am a twin adoptee who was adopted with my twin. I strongly disagree with separating twins.

Neither do I believe in being so dogmatic about it that I think keeping them together overrides finding them adoptive homes, if a home cannot be found for them together. However, this should be a very last resort.

[Jade]

I DEFINATELY would keep them together. I am not a birthmom...although I would love to be. I'm a hopeful
adoptive mom. I would not hesitate for a second to
be a mom to twins...whether they'd be biological or
adoptive. You see for me - I've been married 14 years...
and have undergone a couple of years of infertility treatment.
Before beginning the rounds of injectible meds that I did - my
husband and I were required by our clinic to attend classes
on the risks of mulitiples....because these medications are
known for producing them. It made us search our hearts
and souls about that possibility...what it would take
to parent multiples, financially, emotionally, physically.
For us - there was no question that we'd love to parent
multiples. I think that two children growing together would
be a wonderful experience....no doubt very busy....but
also very special.

I know that not all adoptive parents may feel this way - but I'm guessing that for a lot of people who have gone through infertility - they've had to make a committment to themselves about the possibility of parenting multiples.

In my heart and my mind I see it as twice as many smiles and love.

Marnie

[marysblessings]

Hello. When I was growing up, my neighbors were twin girls. We played together all the time. Now, my sons are growing up with twin boys as their best friends. They are all teens. From watching their relationships, I would say do not split them up. Taking care of twins is not too much when you have a wonderful support system. Although I have not raised twins personally, I have taken care of them in the NICU that I used to work at. Also, my sons have known the neighbor twins for over 14 years. They spend a lot of time at our house.

Blessings,
Mary

[mcraejl]

My belief is in general siblings should stay together that would include twins or not.

[littleangel]

Lynnytte, Look at it this way--if a potential adoptive couple or just a couple having bio kids (and not making an adoption plan) found out they were pregnant with twins--would they say to themselves "wow, this is too much to deal with" NO WAY!
Any parents ready for one infant would be able to handle two--it happens ALL THE TIME! In many ways adoptive parents really do have a "stamp of approval" for parenting--we have all had to have home studies, and "proove" ourselves as parents. To me (as a waiting adoptive parent), adoptive parents may actually be MORE PREPARED than biological parents to handle the challenges of twins.
I agree with all the other posts--separating is NOT a good idea (remember there are studies on this because the Nazis used to separate twins).
Anyway, I wish you luck--I assume you are referring to your own pregnancy??

[lovestory]

I have always felt that twins have a special bond. A connection, you might say, to each other.

The subject of twins is really close to my heart, especially at this time.

Ever since I can remember I have had a special place in my heart for twins. My favorite cousins were twins, and I always had the possibility (because of genes) to have twins...I have since found that I am infertile.

My husband and I were hoping and planning to adopt twins this past January. We were estatic about this possibility. Well, the day came that the twins were born. They were not doing well, at all. One was flown to an specialty hospital and put on life support. The other, whom they thought was doing somewhat better turned for the worse, and he passed away within 24 hours of birth. This was the hardest for me. I can't tell you how many tearful hours I had. Tears shed because of unrealized dreams. And the sorrow I felt that 'J's brother would not be here to grow up with him.

My husband and I went to the NICU to see 'J' a number of times. We prayed for him, we talked with him...and grew to love him in the two weeks he was here. Then, he also couldn't take any more, and passed away. So, they are together, again.

I hope and pray that anyone who has twins will consider highly keeping them together...whether in raising them, or placing them for adoption.

Stephanie

[Jessica74]

Lynnytte,
I am the mother of 3 year old twin girls and watching them over the last few years interact has been amazing. They have a bond that goes beyond the normal sibling bond. I've researched Twins once I found out we were expecting and knowing what I do, I would absolutely and strongly recommend against separating them. Twins are a package deal, and are definitely worth the extra work. Hope this helps and that I didn't offend anyone. Good Luck and feel free to email with anymore questions.
Jessica

[erayrn]

I think it would be best to keep them together. Personally I would be in heaven to be able to adopt twins. There is a perfect family for them and they would always have each other.

[SomeBunniesMom]

I am an adoptive mom of twins. twins were meant to travel the path of life together, they should not be separated. They have a very special bond that most people don't understand. They are aware of each other probably from the moment of conception, and are born bonded to each other. I have read several stories of how even as infants they give comfort to each other. I witnessed it myself when we adopted our girls at 5 months old. They were these tiny babies that couldn't sit up or roll over, but we would place them on the bed next to each other and they would reach out and hold hands. One would cry and the other would put her arm over her sister. Twins have something special that those of us who aren't twins will never experience, please don't even think about depriving them of this.

[SomeBunniesMom]

I am an adoptive mom of twins. twins were meant to travel the path of life together, they should not be separated. They have a very special bond that most people don't understand. They are aware of each other probably from the moment of conception, and are born bonded to each other. I have read several stories of how even as infants they give comfort to each other. I witnessed it myself when we adopted our girls at 5 months old. They were these tiny babies that couldn't sit up or roll over, but we would place them on the bed next to each other and they would reach out and hold hands. One would cry and the other would put her arm over her sister. Twins have something special that those of us who aren't twins will never experience, please don't even think about depriving them of this.

Any family that feels they can't handle raising twins is not the right family for your babies. I have found the experience to be easier than I imagined and much more rewarding and special than anything else i could have done in my life.

[Jennifer]

By all means keep them together and if you should choose to place make sure that is how your adoption plan will be.... keeping these 2 precious little ones together is the most important thing. We are hopefuls, no I am not soliciting, but I know we would be doubly blessed to be adoptive parents of twins and I know our search would be over and our family complete.

Bets wishes to you
Jennifer