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Originally Posted By LR

I recently placed in December. My open adoption was entirely private. I met the couple through friends. I had investigated agencies and was disgusted by what I found. As has been stated here, they are nothing but dealers of human flesh. In my opinion they are no better than pimps. Most agencies do what is called "triple dipping" They will promise your baby to three different couples, collecting fees from all three (which they keep) and then tell 2 of the couples that the mother changed her mind. One girl in my church who had thought of placing her child and signed up with an agency changed her mind in her 8th month (which is her right!) She and her family were harrased until they had to take legal action.

My adoption was as wonderful as reliquishing your child I guess is possible. They only paid my medical and the legal expenses. In other words..my baby was not sold! The entire adoption was in an atmoshphere of trust, and greed played no part. They are open to whatever contact I am comfortable with. Right now, while I am grieving and getting used to the seperation, pictures and e-mails are about all I can deal with. But later, when I am ready for more, my extended family will be waiting for me.

I definetly feel that there needs to be government investigations into these agencies who victimize everybody, the Birthmother, The Adoptive Parents, and ultimately the child. With vultures like this circling, is it any wonder women are beating a path to abortion clinics in record numbers?

[Archive]

Originally Posted By amylauren

I am glad to hear more birthmothers having positive comments regarding open adoption. I am a prospective adoptive parent, and have dealt with agencies. They are very expensive, and I feel they promise birthmothers and adoptive parents things that they don't follow through on. I wish more birthmothers would consider open adoptions. There is less hassle for all concerned and the cost is low. I also feel that if the birthmother is interested, she should be allowed pictures, progress reports, and even visits, if she wants. Giving up a child has to be one of the most heartbreaking decisions in the world, even if you feel it is best. I have a friend who is searching for the child she gave up 15 years ago...this would have been so much easier had she been allowed to know about her child's life over this time period. After all, as my step-daughter says, "there is nothing greater in the world than having two mommies that love you." Her biological mother is dead. I think more adoptive parents should want a connection with their child's birthmom...she is THE life that gave them life, and she gave them the most precious gift in the world.