[Amandak249]

Well, I never wanted to post on THIS forum. But I'm going a little stir crazy here, keeping this to myself.


Last weekend, I went out dancing with the girls. It was my best friend's birthday, and she was 100% determined to bring someone home from the disco. I wasn't really all that supportive of her decision..but she has a nasty breakup a few weeks back, and we had finally finished studying and working...vacation was starting!

Needless to say, I ended up sharing my night with a lovely man who I had known for a few months. We see each other every Saturday (since February).

The only problem is that I had a SEVERE condom malfunction. I could tell something was wrong, and when we inspected the condom after use, we noticed a fingernail sized hole. Upon further investigation, I realized that I had definitely been exposed (heavily exposed) to seminal fluid. I stupidly RAN into the shower, desperately trying to "rinse" myself.

The next day, I ran to the pharmacy to get the day after pill. It is NOT over the counter in Italy, and I had to ask the pharmacist to get it for me. She refused, telling me I needed permission from a doctor. Not a prescription, but permission. I asked her what on earth could possibly be a legitimated reason for a doctor to DENY me the day after pill. She shrugged and said it was at the doctors discretion..and that I had better have a convincing argument.

I was INFURIATED. I had officially 24 hours to take the pill. And this woman wouldn't give it to me. She told me I could make an appointment with my own physician, or I could go to the emergency room. My doctor here is notoriously pro life (during unrelated exams she has expressed these beliefs to me). The last time I went to the emergency room in Italy, I ended up getting 10 stitches without anesthesia because I couldn't prove to them that I wasnt allergic to it.

So here I am....desperately waiting for the 3rd of august to take a test. Using an ovulation calculator, my most fertile period was on and around the 16th. The exact day of my little "episode".


I'm going on vacation to Calabria (southern Italy) next week...and im trying to relax. But the idea of being pregnant HORRIFIES me. I'm in my 20's, am in the middle of a degree, make 600 euro a month (like 1,000 dollars...even though my parents consistently give me money), and am not married. Oh, and I'm in ITALY! Where doctors can refuse to perform abortions because they dont agree with it. And where my neighbors judge me if they catch the scent of meat from my apartment on Friday.



Tell me I'm overreacting, please!

[wcurry66]

Oh, Amanda!! that sucks!! i'm sooo sorry

relax, don't worry about things you can't control. you can worry yourself to death between now and then and it will do nothing to change the outcome, whateer that may be

*hugs*

I'd like to beat your dr.

[paigeturner]

Amanda,

I am so sorry you were treated with such disrespect. It outrages me that doctors and other health care professionals treat women like children. There was no excuse to not give you plan B.

I'm here for you in any way I can be of help. I have very broad shoulders if you need someone to talk to. Just send me a PM.

I would tell you to try to relax, but since I've been in your shoes, I know nothing is going to be of comfort until you pee on that stick!

I'll be thinking of you and sending good vibes your way.

[Dickons]

Hugs Amanda...I have no words - why oh why would you need a doctors approval.

I am so sorry,
Dickons

[crick]

(((HUGS))) Amanda...

Dumb Italy and Dumb Doctors. UGH! Choice is so so important, regardless of which one it is we want to make. I'm so sorry you didn't get to make that decision for yourself.

Cook the dang meat tonight and give your neighbors the bird. Won't change the outcome but might make you feel better for a short time.

[Amandak249]

Thanks for all of the support, guys. I knew I could count on you all.....

I havent said anything to my parents or friends yet. The only person who knows is my best friend, whom I live with.

I don't want to jump the gun, but if I turn out to be pregnant, I will probably terminate. Which is extraordinarily surprising to me since if you had asked me a month ago, I would have said no.

I cannot imagine, first and foremost, the reactions of my parents. Particularly my father. I can already hear their reactions. With a baby, I'd probably have to return to the States (something I don't want to do). I'd have to forfeit, at least for now, the degree I've been working on for nearly 4 years. I have made a LOT of decisions lately that my family has not approved of (remaining in Italy, taking a leave from university to work and apply my other degree, etc). But they allowed me, and have given me their blessing, because of the extraordinary "responsibility" I've shown and how I have lived up to my end of the deal in every aspect of the agreements we've made.

This. would. completely. ruin. all. of. this.

On one hand, I'd have a baby in a heartbeat. On the other hand, the concept keeps me up at night. It makes me smoke too much, and eat too little.

I know that I am fairly....fertile. Without being overly explicit.... I am talking about a fairly large amount of ejaculation. It wasn't just a drop or too that escaped.


I am still enraged over the issue of the day after pill. But, the time has passed and its no longer relevant.

I hope I am not pregnant. I do not want to make this decision. I don't want to. I just cannot.

[Dickons]

Amanda - if you have to make a decision you know you will make the right decision for you. We will also be here to talk.

D

[belleinblue1978]

We're here for you Amanda, I'm sorry you have to go through this at all.

[caths1964]

((((Hugs))))) Amanda.

[RavenSong]

Amanda, I know there is nothing I can say that will make you stop worrying. But I did want you to know that we all care a great deal about you -- you're one of my favorite people.

I am confident that you can handle whatever life throws at you...including an unplanned pregnancy. You've got a good head on your shoulders. Try not to stress out too much right now. The stress itself can make your period late...

[susie_book]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I don't know about shipping to where you are, but at least in the U.S. amazon has really cheap pregnancy tests--I buy a dozen at a time, and just test every so often for my piece of mind. I hope you're okay.

[binkybear]

Amanda,

We've never really spoken directly, probably been in a few threads at the same time. I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and saying prayers for you. I noticed your avatar here and on your blog, read a few of your most recent blog posts and thought of Her words.....

Hoping they might help to calm and bring clarity over the stir crazy. "Do not be troubled nor disturbed by anything; do not fear illness nor any other distressing occurrence, nor pain. Am I not your mother? Am I not life and health? Have I not placed you on my lap and made you my responsibility? Do you need anything else."

Thinking of you.