[Kalee27]

Hello All.

I will make my story clear cut. I went through my pregnancy planning adoption. I met with several couples and chose one back in January of 2009. A week before baby was born, adoptive parents backed out.....I was stunned and confused and super scared. Anyways, there is SOOOO much to my story but just gonna give facts. During that week before birth I started wondering if it was meant for me to keep him. I was induced 2 weeks before due date due to pre-ecclampsia just making the whole thing more stressful. When I had him, I was totally confused but decided to bring him home on advice of family. Now he is 9 days old and my situation is sorta desperate. I am back at home at parents, had to quit my job.....am having to back out of a new lease at a new apartment I just signed with.....and am scared witless because my parents live 2 hours away from a city-----town size 3500....there are no job possibilities......everything is a mess and now I am thinking IHAVE TO ADOPT him out.....sadly I have already bonded with the little monkey and am suffering extreme guilt over wanting to place him. I cannot take care of him right now....and to not get into everything, I will not be able to really take care of him for a long time and its simply OVERWHELMING. I spent 9 months detached to bring this little baby home, now I am sorta attached but scared of placing him and scared of keepinghim.....


Any advice?? Also, is the legalalities any different once you have already given birth THEN u place for adoption?????I mean, isn't it unusual to place baby after you have taken him home from hopsital>>>?????

Any thoughts DESPERATELY needed and fast.....gotta make my mind up.

Thanks,

Kalee

[Janeytwo]

Hi Kalee! Hugs to ya! ((( Kalee )))

I'm Janey, a birthmom in here.

First I wanted to say that it's okay sweetie to be scared. It's perfectly all right and I totally understand why you would be. You've faced a lot in a short time and now you have this little guy in your life too.

I know what it takes to get up the resolve to relinquish a child. I know the thing you have to tell yourself in order to be able to do it and then to have the couple back out! That's a lot to deal with right there.

My first thought when I read your post was actually a couple of words - pathetic though they will seem. But here they are and they're said with much compassion and kindness to you:

Kalee, take just a few minutes to slow down and catch your breath. Just a few minutes. Take a seat somewhere in your house/apartment, close your eyes and just give yourself a minute or two. Tell yourself that no matter what, it'll be all right because it will be. I know it doesn't seem so right at this second.

But just let the world spin while you take some time to rest your mind. That would be my first and most important advice to you. It is too hard to make a decision straight out of the gate. You need just a small amount of time to regroup. Put the panic at bay sweetheart. The problems you have now will be there in a moment. First you need to have just a tiny bit of peace.

Know that there are many women who've walked in your shoes and understand.

I understand completely about things being overwhelming. And I think it takes a great deal of courage to be able to admit that and a great deal of maturity to know it. So kudos to you for that.

On deciding what to do, I guess there are two ways to go obviously.

If you have changed your mind and want to raise your baby, that is totally understandable...totally and completely. Adoption is a very hard plan to make and extremely hard to carry out. If you've found that you now can't go through with it, that's okay sweetie. That's all right. Can your parents help you at all?

Or can you get State Aid? Do you have access to a phonebook? If so, can you call the State and talk with them about getting help with food and housing? Perhaps the State you live in has an emergency number? Or United Way maybe? I'm not sure if we're allowed to name any specific charitable organizations but that's one that comes to mind. Sometimes a simple phone call can lead a person to the help they so desperately need. And being armed with knowledge of what you can get help-wise and what you can't is half the battle, IMO.

If you are thinking though that you are not in a position to raise your son, I understand and empathize with that too.

I am thinking that you worked with an agency regarding the adoption? Can you call them? If you feel that you cannot handle raising the baby right now, is it possible to contact one of the other couples you'd been talking too? Perhaps they have not adopted yet and would welcome the chance to raise your son.

((( Kalee ))) Sweetie, it's going to be okay. Remember that. Right now, things are desparate for you and that I get....believe me....I get that.

There are lots of good people in here who are extremely knowledgeable about adoption. I'm sure they will be jumping in here shortly to give you their words of wisdom.

Also, you might want to contact one of the women here who's a bmom and a therapist. Her screenname is bromanchik. She is very smart and kind and has a wealth of understanding on what you're going through.

Hugs to you sweetie!! Keep posting and whatever else you do....honestly....just sit down and take a moment to breath.

This is tough stuff and you need some peace.

Much hugs to you today!

[mnmomma]

I'm not a birthmom, so I can't speak to that experience. I will say that it is not that uncommon to arrange a placement after birth if that's what you decide. I'm not trying to sway your opinion - just know that there are a TON of prospective adoptive parents out there to choose from and will be for months to come so you don't need to rush into anything. I pray that if you want to parent your child that you find the support and help you need!

[cetalley]

Kaylee, again congradulations, you are being a very wise person..new mommy! Thank your parents for aiding you with this emotional time. I am a firstmom, and I too felt all you have felt, and my goodness, you have every right to feel this way. Your hormones will surge for about 6 more months, for they have been building you up to prepare your body for birth...for oh about 9 months now. I think you have made the best choice of taking your baby home. I feel, all new mommies should do this, especially if they feel in their hearts they cannot parent. Now, I like Janey think you should slow down and try to enjoy your little one, and put JOBS, MONEY, AND NEW APARTMENT LEASES ON HOLD. Sorry for caps, too lazy to go back and retype Kaylee, I will not be able to fill you with an idea, that aoption is right or NOT right for you, sadly you will be the only person to make that decision. However I can give you some insight to what takes place. I relinquished 23 yrs ago, twin sons! I have had an abortion, miscarried 3x, and chose to get 'fixed', feeling that I no longer deserved to be gifted with another child. THE hardest act,I have ever encountered was losing my sons! It is the one thing that no one can get over...ever...for once you become a mother...you are a mother forever. It cannot be anyother way. The exception to this rule, is when we relinquish, all those people involved try to tell you you are no longer a mother...because you gave up that right...NOT SO! This is MYTH! You are offered( I was not), an open adoption....even promised this...but there are no legal ramifications to the closing of these "open" adoptions..it is done at will by the new parents. Some do not, and some are very lucky, but those a few and far in between. Second thing is , again in my opinion, had I been made aware that new parents, are great on paper, and are given a good "homestudy" bill of health...no one knows what goes on behind closed doors...no-one! These new parents, have issues with bills, lose jobs,alcoholism, self medicate, abuse, have affairs, lose their homes, pediphilia, and jobs, just like the rest of the population. So think long and hard, you have plenty of time. There is no amount of time or a rule book that says, you have x amount of days/weeks/years, to make this choice. Lastly, sweetheart, you are making decisions not only about your current place in the world. You arechoosing a world, that your darling little monkey, will have to live each day with. If current circumstances are difficult, it will not always be this way, but once you sign those papers, your world will indeed change forever. IMHO, the only time one needs to relinquish, is if they can honestly tell them selves they may bring harm to that child, they cannot protect that child, they are incapable of providing love, and nurture, or they just cannot stand to be a parent...if you can say that each of these cases fit your life, then do find a loving person(s) to raise your child. Just be positively SURE they are good persons! This is not an object to own for a while then give away...as I am sure you are very well aware of. Being scared, no money and no job, is not reason enough to place your baby...it is not! All that little monkey wants...is his mommy that he has been in love with for 9 months and 10 days...a lot of love, some food, and protection from the big wide world...sounds to me like this is what yoiu are doing as we speak. It is a life altering decision, sadly you will have to make that decision...for both! Many Blessings, kiss that new one, tell him...he has lots of people whom are thinking of him tonight Serenity, Blessings, and in time you will know what you must do...C.J.

[RavenSong]

Hi, Kaylee...

My name is Raven, and I'm a birthmom who relinquished her son 37 years ago. We reunited 19 years ago, shortly after he turned 18.

I'd like to echo Janey's advise to you: slow everything down a bit, and take your time making this monumental decision. As Cetalley pointed out, your body is surging with hormones right now - I would imagine that your moods are swinging all over the place, which is normal in your postpartum condition.

It sounds like your family is being supportive of you keeping your child. If it really is a matter of finances and employment, can you look into obtaining some type of financial assistance from your County Department of Social Services? There are a myriad of programs out there that are designed to help young single mothers. It just takes a bit of time to sit down and go through your phone book. I would start off by calling Social Services and asking for financial help, food stamps, and Medicaid. If you aren't eligible, be sure to ask the social worker for referrals to local organizations that might be able to help you.

I know here in California that single moms are provided with job training and job placement through Social Services. There's a good chance that a similar program exists where you live.

Adoption can be a good choice if you truly don't want to take on the responsibilities of motherhood right now. Only you know what your heart is telling you. It is a very hard journey, though...so be sure to get some counseling. If you don't know any qualified counselors or therapists in your area, please send a Private Message (PM) to Bromanchik. Brenda is a birthmom who is also a licensed therapist, and she can help you find the help you need.

I hope you keep posting here. We may not have all the answers, but we are listening. There's usually someone hanging out on the forums, no matter if it's day or night.

[rd200]

Kaylee, I am not a birthmother but hopefully can answer some of your questions. First, congrats on your healthy baby. Second, it isnt that unusual for a mother to take their baby home for a while to see how things are going to work out if they still arent sure on parenting or adoption. You have plenty of time to make up your mind. IF you want to place later, then you still can, there are no legal reprecusions to placing at a later date. As long as you do an offical adoption. And it sounds like you were doing that with the first couple. It sounds to me like you really do want to keep your baby, that you are attached to him. I would try and take one day at a time. Having a newborn baby is VERY overwhelming, as you said, very emotionally straining, but it DOES get better. the first few days and weeks are scary and emotional for almost everyone who has a baby regardless of their situation.
I'm not sure why the adoptive parents backed out, nor is it any of my business but there are good, loving, wonderful couples whom will want to raise your child. And i believe that although some adoptions dont go according to plan, most aparents aren't going to drop you like a bad habit and definetly are not pediphiles, as suggested. No, you dont know these people, but if you decide that adoption is best you can take as long as you want to find the right couple for your baby.
I hope that you take a very hard look at your situation and that you find a way to make things work. You seem very attached to your baby and if you can find the resources for taking care of him, and feel as if you can parent him, then go for it. If you truly, 100% feel you cannot, then look at your options. Parenting is very tough and emotionally draining, and i would imagine that relinquishing is probably worse. Being a mother is also the greatest joy in my life, and i couldnt imagine my life without my son. Can you imagine your life without your little guy?? I think if you honestly are able to answer that question, then you will beable to make your decision. Please, if you need to talk dont hesitate to private message me. I hope you make a decision when your ready. Dont rush, enjoy your baby right now!!! Things always have a way of working themselves out for the better. Good Luck Rachel

[cetalley]

[quote=rd200]Kaylee, I am not a birthmother but hopefully can answer some of your questions.

And i believe that although some adoptions dont go according to plan, most aparents aren't going to drop you like a bad habit and definetly are not pediphiles, as suggested.

Kaylee, I can see where once again, you are getting some great advice. Not a surprise, we have some great gals, here on the forum. Raven is 100% dead on, a great piece of advice is Brenda, I have heard and read so many great things of all the support and help , she has offered many. Now , I will, again have to clarify, one simple thing...but has huge impact on OUR children. In my post reply, I made comments, of MY own opinion, that the 'new parents', may look good on paper, but they also have the same ISSUES THE REST OF THE POPULATION face! RD2OO, stated I suggested, that I inferred they were pediphiles. As a person whom has adopted, or is in the process of doing so...(not a firstmom), her own words....said I suggested this. If she were to go back and read, my statement clearly states, that these issues, ALL, I mentioned, are indeed a fact of life, sadly pediphiles do exist in our world. I would pray to GOD that it is rare and few and far in between. However, sexual abusers/pediphiles do exist, and unfortunately they are our neighbors, our friends, the ceo's of companys, politicians, and even soccer coaches...lastly some are even our clergys/priests. People wishing to adopt are not exempt from this, and when it comes to "our" innocent children, it is definately something one has to weigh! I meant no disrespect to ANY person whom has love and GOD in their heart, so RD200, is trying to defend this very real fact...prospective parents can and do look good on paper, behind closed doors, is a roll of the dice...one I personally believe is of utmost consideration, when relinquishing a child. Abuse of any aspect is very very REAL! Now my having to clarify is done, and I will end this explanation. My meaning behind my post reply...is I AM A FIRSTMOM, and I stand by REALITY, no one person KNOWS for sure, when we place our babies, with what is indeed virtually strangers. Now, back to your post, please take these fine ladies advice...no time limit is placed on your decision, enjoy "lil monkey' today , tomorrow, and when you decide...YOU will know. Blessings...C.J.

[Kalee27]

Hey everyone. Thank you for all the replies. Some good advice I see. I think overall the reason it appears that I wanna make a decision fast is because the longer I keep him, the harder it would be to relinquish him. I guess my life is totally upside down right now and I am asking myself if Ihave what it takes to raise him alone. I know I do but it seems totally overwhelming to me. I have the support of my family to go either way. Some are encouraging me to adopt, some are not. As it sets, the only ppl Ihave are my mom and dad.....rest of siblings are states away. Mom works full time still and dad is older and ill and cannot help alot. I went from working and taking care of myself-----being on my own for years to all of a sudden a screeching halt. I am landlocked out in this little town and I think that alone scares me because I can't imagine living here nor could I imagine raising a child here.....its far too rural. I am 27 and want to get myself back in school. Unfortunately, I have some debts that I can't ignore so working is a MUST. My employer who seemed willing to work with me all of the sudden started badgering me to get back to work after only missing 4 days! I asked her to be patient giving situation but she wasn't.....I ended up quitting. As of today Ihave been unemployed for 2 weeks. What I didnt explain to you all is that through the adoption, the parents were gonna assist me in some of my bills. This has not happened and now my current landlord is owed quite a chunk of change. Iknow that it all seems temporary but Ihave had some difficulty in establishing stability and during pregnancy I finally starting gaining some ground and now I am losing it all again. I know it sounds silly but u have to understand that my independence is so important and now I will HAVE to be dependent on others and I don't like that.


Overall, my emotions are all over. One minute crying, next minute very clear on what to do. I love Jonah but when I look at him I feel like I just dont have it in me to parent at this time. It's just so messed up. I am so irritable due to this weird schedule of being up all day and night--to make matters a tad worse, my mother is super critical of every move I make...........that alone drives me insane. I try and be respectful since she did raise 5 kids but she is very overbearing and at times a little cruel.....this I cannot deal with if I keep him and stay here. She is the type that if you do not do things HER WAY.....you are WRONG. And we have been in constant arguments since Ihave been home because she wont lighten up a little.

Anyways, I am open to all views and experiences. I just want to make a decision and get on with things. It;s simply taxing and I can;t continue to sit and wonder. I am gonna make some calls to an adoption agency today. I am not saying I am doing it for sure but I would like to start looking at couples. I feel if I am doing that atleast I am doing something while I figure out what I am gonna do in the longrun.

PS: Is it normal to be irritable and at times frustrated with baby when he is only 10 days old due to the fussing and stuff??


Kalee

[MamaS]

Kayley: I am an adoptive mother, so I cannot address any of your concerns about adoption. The birthmothers have spoken about that.

However, I am also a single mother, so I do understand that money IS important, a job IS important, education IS important, and not having those can make it hard/impossible to be a parent. When I adopted I had completed graduate school, totally paid for a house and car and had a job with a contract and really good insurance. I thought I was ready. The child I adopted had severe health problems (unknown at the time of adoption) and within two years I had used up all my job leave and a good portion of savings on hospitalizations and non-covered medical bills. That's life. It is unpredictable. And if I had known what would happen, I still would have adopted her! She was meant to be mine!

It is very normal to be tired, confused and irritated with the baby after only 10 days. Unless he is miraculously sleeping thru the night, you are sleep-deprived and hormonal. Can you make an appointment with your ob-gyn and talk about yourself? Whatever you decide, you need to be thinking clearly when you make the decision.

[seeking_to_adopt]

Hi Kalee,
I am very sorry to hear of your experience.
Is the birth father supportive? If so, ask him to marry you.
My suggestion to you would be to go away for a while to live with a relative for at least a few weeks where you can calmly think things through.
Don't decide under pressure.
Since you have named the child, in my heart, I feel you will keep Jonah.
-
Anil

Originally Posted by Kalee27

Hey everyone. Thank you for all the replies. Some good advice I see. I think overall the reason it appears that I wanna make a decision fast is because the longer I keep him, the harder it would be to relinquish him. I guess my life is totally upside down right now and I am asking myself if Ihave what it takes to raise him alone. I know I do but it seems totally overwhelming to me. I have the support of my family to go either way. Some are encouraging me to adopt, some are not. As it sets, the only ppl Ihave are my mom and dad.....rest of siblings are states away. Mom works full time still and dad is older and ill and cannot help alot. I went from working and taking care of myself-----being on my own for years to all of a sudden a screeching halt. I am landlocked out in this little town and I think that alone scares me because I can't imagine living here nor could I imagine raising a child here.....its far too rural. I am 27 and want to get myself back in school. Unfortunately, I have some debts that I can't ignore so working is a MUST. My employer who seemed willing to work with me all of the sudden started badgering me to get back to work after only missing 4 days! I asked her to be patient giving situation but she wasn't.....I ended up quitting. As of today Ihave been unemployed for 2 weeks. What I didnt explain to you all is that through the adoption, the parents were gonna assist me in some of my bills. This has not happened and now my current landlord is owed quite a chunk of change. Iknow that it all seems temporary but Ihave had some difficulty in establishing stability and during pregnancy I finally starting gaining some ground and now I am losing it all again. I know it sounds silly but u have to understand that my independence is so important and now I will HAVE to be dependent on others and I don't like that.


Overall, my emotions are all over. One minute crying, next minute very clear on what to do. I love Jonah but when I look at him I feel like I just dont have it in me to parent at this time. It's just so messed up. I am so irritable due to this weird schedule of being up all day and night--to make matters a tad worse, my mother is super critical of every move I make...........that alone drives me insane. I try and be respectful since she did raise 5 kids but she is very overbearing and at times a little cruel.....this I cannot deal with if I keep him and stay here. She is the type that if you do not do things HER WAY.....you are WRONG. And we have been in constant arguments since Ihave been home because she wont lighten up a little.

Anyways, I am open to all views and experiences. I just want to make a decision and get on with things. It;s simply taxing and I can;t continue to sit and wonder. I am gonna make some calls to an adoption agency today. I am not saying I am doing it for sure but I would like to start looking at couples. I feel if I am doing that atleast I am doing something while I figure out what I am gonna do in the longrun.

PS: Is it normal to be irritable and at times frustrated with baby when he is only 10 days old due to the fussing and stuff??


Kalee

[rd200]

[quote=cetalley]

Originally Posted by rd200

Kaylee, I am not a birthmother but hopefully can answer some of your questions.
Kaylee, I can see where once again, you are getting some great advice. Not a surprise, we have some great gals, here on the forum. Raven is 100% dead on, a great piece of advice is Brenda, I have heard and read so many great things of all the support and help , she has offered many. Now , I will, again have to clarify, one simple thing...but has huge impact on OUR children. In my post reply, I made comments, of MY own opinion, that the 'new parents', may look good on paper, but they also have the same ISSUES THE REST OF THE POPULATION face! RD2OO, stated I suggested, that I inferred they were pediphiles. As a person whom has adopted, or is in the process of doing so...(not a firstmom), her own words....said I suggested this. If she were to go back and read, my statement clearly states, that these issues, ALL, I mentioned, are indeed a fact of life, sadly pediphiles do exist in our world. I would pray to GOD that it is rare and few and far in between. However, sexual abusers/pediphiles do exist, and unfortunately they are our neighbors, our friends, the ceo's of companys, politicians, and even soccer coaches...lastly some are even our clergys/priests. People wishing to adopt are not exempt from this, and when it comes to "our" innocent children, it is definately something one has to weigh! I meant no disrespect to ANY person whom has love and GOD in their heart, so RD200, is trying to defend this very real fact...prospective parents can and do look good on paper, behind closed doors, is a roll of the dice...one I personally believe is of utmost consideration, when relinquishing a child. Abuse of any aspect is very very REAL! Now my having to clarify is done, and I will end this explanation. My meaning behind my post reply...is I AM A FIRSTMOM, and I stand by REALITY, no one person KNOWS for sure, when we place our babies, with what is indeed virtually strangers. Now, back to your post, please take these fine ladies advice...no time limit is placed on your decision, enjoy "lil monkey' today , tomorrow, and when you decide...YOU will know. Blessings...C.J.

It sounds like you have all the answers so i guess i didnt even need to post huh? I'll just stay on my "SIDE" of the forum because my opinion was obviously not good enough over here since i'm not a firstmom. It doesnt seem like the OP had any problems with my post so i am glad i responded to her and gave her my thoughts.

[EZ2Luv]

Kaylee,
First Congradulations on your baby boy! Now as an adoptee and a mother I will say YES it is very common to be irritable and all over the place right after having a baby. Your hormones are going nuts, add to it a controling Mom and sleepless nights and I can see how you feel like your going out of your mind. I was there when I had my son. I was snapping at my husband and MIL who was only meaning to be helpful.

While I believe adoption is a wonderful thing and I am very happy that my parenst adopted me, the first choice should always be to keep baby. Whatever you are going through now is temporary. Adoption is a PERMANANT solution to a Temporary sition. I am not going to lie, being a single parent and starting off where you are at will be hard, but definately doable.

As a PP said there is medicaid, food stamps and financial assitance out there that you can utilize untill you get on your feet.

As far as adoption plans go, there is no expiration date. You can place a baby at any age. I am glad that you brough Jonah home with you. Try and enjoy your time with him.

TAs far as thinking you cannot give him things, all babies require is love and basic needs. All those other "things" do not make for a better parent and all your baby knows is your love.

Your situation can change but your you will always be a mother whatever you decide.

I will keep you in my prayers that God be with you in your decision.

EZ

[crick]

We are not going to have an argument on a thread meant for support. The OP does NOT need it and if there are further issues, members will be banned from this forum in it's entirety.

There are plenty of ways to support a person, show options and give advice without tearing others down and pushing others into your personal views. Take a look at Janey's, Raven's, Ezz's post to see how it's possible.

[Kalee27]

Wow, I appreciate all of your replies! Feels alot better knowing so many people took the time to even read my post and then respond!

Well what a weekend of craziness. I called an adoption agency Friday evening and was to meet with woman Saturday and she was gonna take baby Jonah to foster care while I reviewed couples. I felt relatively solid about it after thinking it through but alas, here it is Sunday night and guess who is lying over there on his tummy getting ready for a feeding?? Jonah. LOL. I decided to keep him longer. My sister in Alaska who is well established, offered me to come out and stay with her to get a clear bearing on what I should do. Part of me is a little anxious, I mean I had a MADE a decision and now feel I am putting it off. Part of me is relieved--part of me not. It's alot of torture going on here. Mom and Dad both say I am not ready to parent. Mom still feels this way. Dad on other hand says give this a go....he says even if your decision is the same, you can know you made a clearminded decision by getting away from all the noise here. And trust me there is alot of noise. My parents have a bad relationship so to speak, lots of fighting and constant arguing and it just adds to the turmoil surrounding my life right now and baby's life. Mom is very critical. I know she loves me but she is mean at times. One night when i overslept a half hour past feeding, she came in yelling at me saying how selfish I am and how clear it was that i certainly wasn't ready to parent. Though she was one of the main ppl who encouraged me to bring him home from hospital. She fears that since I used to party somewhat that I may want to continue doing that which is so untrue if I keep him. She holds past mistakes against me and continuously brings this stuff up. Enough is enough! I know that I cannot live here with them let alone raise child here.

ANYWAYS, what do you guys think? To be honest, everyone telling me that I am not ready has somewhat cemented that fear I already have. Is going to visit sis in Alaska just putting off the inevitable or could I really change my mind to keep him? Still confused and scared.



And to answer someones earlier post: The birthfather is out of the picture. I broke up with him the moment I found out I was preggers. He was abusive and crazy. It took me getting pregnant to truly think of mine and baby's safety and I finally got rid of him after 2 years of tumultous on and off again relationship. He still facebooks me and tries to get ahold of me.....he is not stable but needless to say.........marriage not an option


Talk soon,
Kalee

[RavenSong]

Hi, Kalee...

My gut reaction is that if I were in your shoes, I would take your sister up on her offer. I think that if you do decide to place Jonah for adoption, you'll need to be 100-percent positive that that's what you truly want to do.

I think the fact that you didn't put Jonah in the foster home this weekend says something about where your heart is leading you. Have you received any unbiased counseling from a therapist about this? (And I don't mean an adoption agency counselor -- I mean a therapist or counselor who has nothing to gain or lose from your eventual decision.)

I know what it's like to have a super critical mother. My mom is like that, too. Nothing I've ever done in life has been good enough...and I'm 54 years old, lol. Personally, I think that at 27 years of age, you're plenty old enough to learn the ropes of motherhood. First-time parents are always a bit stressed out, always worried that they're not doing the right thing the right way.

I think it's very cool that your sister has invited you and Jonah to come live with her for a while. God does work in mysterious ways, I've discovered. He may be sending you a rescue line. Listen to your heart, and follow where it's leading you.

I know that others may disagree with me, but that is what I would do if I were in your shoes...