[quantum]

Originally Posted by JemimahFruitloops

and a lot of women there have blasted away at me, personal attacks out the wazooo, being very judgemental.

Poor you! You do NOT need that sort of 'support' right now. If you can, I would stay away from that forum. If you can't, try to remember that this is about THEM not about you.
Someone who jumps all over you about contraception is probably terrified about being in the same situation- it's just not worth taking on board. Easier said then done! I KNOW!

I also wanted to agree with Tazer a bit here. I know you're getting a lot of information as to why you should NOT give your baby up for adoption. It is important to understand the aftermath, that's something most of us had no clue about! But the decision is ultimately yours and if you decide to go the adoption route, there is a lot of support here for that!

[cbrink7]

I just wanted to wish you the best. I agree you do not have to rush into anything now, and it is so great that you are looking into all of your options. You are sure the decide the right thing for you and your baby Good Luck!




Also...

Originally Posted by Tazer

Welcome and congratulations on your impending arrival! I am a B-mom, reunited for 3 years to a 23 year old daughter placed at birth. I also have a husband, 16y.o. twin girls and a 1 month old son.

You have a huge decision to make but luckily you have excellent resources here and as much time as you need to make it. Placing your child for adoption is not something you have to do prior to giving birth or even within a certain amount of days after wards. Take your time, do the research and weigh your options carefully. Its great that you have family support but it's a decision that only you and the baby's father can make.

I captioned part of one of the other posts because not only was it something someone said to me once, but I totally disagree with what it says:

Plus if your baby could talk he/she would only want to be with you. She/he'd say "please don't hand me over to strangers."

When I hear this I fully understand the concern behind the statement but I want to go "UGH!" LOUDLY! It's kinda like being "guilt-tripped" into doing something that might not be do-able for some. The truth of the matter is your baby can't talk and is in no position to decide what is best for him-or-her nor is any newborn. My son is 4 weeks old and while I'm sure if he could talk he'd probably decline his Dr.'s appt. next week, skip his shots and opt for a trip to Disneyland, or forgo the warm bottles of Enfamil w/iron and toss back a few cold brewsky's with his playmates instead, he is not the one who gets to decide. Adoption is not "handing your child over to strangers" it's finding a loving stable fully-prepared home that you feel will best meet the needs of your child. As a B-mom I resent this statements as well as the one following it;

"Plus kids need so little so don't let a lack of money sway you."

IMO kids need lots more than money or any of the things money can provide. Money is something I ( my family) have never had a shortage of. I lacked maturity at age 17, education and enough life experience to raise my child. Her birth wasn't planned and I was not willing to go one more day without solid plans in place for the rest of her life. I want to meet the kid who needs "so little." Heck, my newborn has a stable 2-parent household with a part-time housekeeper, tons of money, 4 doting Grandparents and twin mini-mom's on hand to help out and I am ready to pull my hair out. The fact that you are even considering adoption indicates that you don't feel your circumstances are ideal since most pregnant women don't post here simply because they are pregnant.

I am posting to say ultimately it is your decision to make. Adoption has both good and bad sides so do your research and take your time. I also bonded with my daughter early in the pregnancy and it was that bond that demanded that I find the best parents in the world for her, even if that wasn't me. You can pm or e-mail me anytime if you want someone who has BTDT to lend an ear. TrayC91@gmail.com Best Wishes...Tracy

My thoughts exactly...

[Suziebearhugs]

Adoption can be a beautiful option for your child if you feel that's the direction your supposed to go.

I agree with the statement that your not handing your child over to "strangers" by placing them for adoption.

I don't view my two adoptive children as "strangers" and they certianly don't view me that way.

We are family and that goes way beyond me, my husband and my kids, it extends to all of my relatives, all of my husbands and since we are in two open adoptions with two different birthfamilies our family relationships also include most of their birth relatives as well.

It's a personal decision only you can make, research all your options and then make the choice you feel is best for your child.

I'm sorry you were faced with such UGLY comments. You don't deserve that. You will probably face more and more comments trying to pursued you one way or another. Try not to take them personally. Realize that everyone is coming from different perspectives and experiences, but that doesn't mean their opinion has anything to do with you or your baby. Take what is useful for you and leave the rest.

[taramayrn]

Welcome to the forums! First off adoption.com is not a matching site and therefore it is against our rules for someone to contact you offering to adopt your baby. If someone does contact you please let either myself or one of the other mods here know. We pride ourselves on keeping this a safe place free from solicitation. Those who solicite will face a ban from our site.

Now, I know it's hard not to have a plan in place, but I really would urge you to not rush into a decision. You have lots of time to decide what is right for you and your baby. Contact agencies, contact social services and see what resources are available to parents, etc. Talk to those who have relinquished and to those who have parented.