[2momsinGA]

Hello.

I am writing as a prospective adoptive parent who would like to ask about questions or concerns that birthparents might have about choosing a family that has two moms, a five year old girl and a twelve year old boy. (I'm certainly NOT soliciting. I would like to hear whether or not you, personally, would choose a two-mom family.)

In our community, we have not had any problems with our children's schools, friends, or friends' parents. Our extended families and our friends support our wish to complete our family.

We are both in our mid thirties and have completed our education. Each of us works in the education field, and we're financially stable. We are not involved in organized religion, but we encourage our children to learn about religion and the history of religions.

We're very involved in our children's lives and education, and we travel as a family in order to learn about other states. One day, we will begin to travel outside of the U.S.

If you were in the position to choose the parents for your baby, would you consider a two-mom family? Why or why not?

I appreciate your candid replies.


Take care,
2MomsinGA

[sstuart]

I would not have when I placed my child 22 years ago, but I was not as educated on the topic then. Now I feel it is much more accepted by society and I wouldn't have a problem with it. That being said I am not in the position right now to place.

I have a sister that is a lesbian and I also have several friends that are. One couple that I am friends with did artificial insemination and were successful. They are great parents and have a support system. I think that is what is important.

Good luck in your journey.

[taramayrn]

You know, I am not sure, I guess it would depend on the couple. I don't think that them being a same sex couple would stop me from placing with them, but they would have had to have met my requirements just as any other couple would have.

[JustPeachy]

Back when I placed, this was not even an option, but if I were placing now, I have to be honest and say I'm not sure, either. I think, depsite the fact that I don't have any issues with same sex couples being parents, my concern would be that a "non-traditional" family might present more difficulty for my child, as s/he would not only be dealing with adoption issues, but also issues stemming from society still not being totally accepting or understanding of same sex couples and a child having two moms. That would be my main concern, but if the moms were able to address that concern in a way that put my mind at ease, I might be more open to it.

[lahdh4]

It would have all depended what profiles I was shown when I was placing. Hard to say because I know my ex, Supergirl's father, would have said 'No way" Me, I wouldn't really have a problem with it.

[2momsinGA]

Thank you for your replies.

I feel that we will find our child(ren) eventually.

Certainly, we will have more of a chance today than if we were trying this years ago. We may have more of a wait than "traditional" couples, but it will be well worth it!

Take care!

[Free_to_be_me]

My birthdaughter's birthfather was very open to choosing a same-sex couple to adopt our baby. I don't know if I would have been comfortable with it because I had never known an openly gay person in my life (at that time.) I think, if they had been the right couple, it might have worked, but I can't say for certain.

[susie_book]

Well, I have picked a two mom family for the kid I'm pregnant with--that must be the most encouraging answer you've gotten so far.

[2momsinGA]

Thank you for your reply--indeed it is an encouraging one. If I may ask, did you choose the family based on the strengths of the two individuals in the couple? What were some of your deciding factors that made you choose this particular couple?

Take care,
2MomsinGA

[Tazer]

Like many who have already replied it wasn't an option when I placed my daughter 23 years ago as the agency only used married couples in the traditional sense. How ever if presented with that option today I'd say YES YES YES!!! My d/h is a minister and our church has a same-sex ministry and I love the members. I know this sounds cliche but these members out of all the organizations have the best of everything. Best bake-offs, best musicians, best writers, most volunteers, bought and / or made the best Xmas decorations, gave me awesome shower gifts, most well-behaved kids and darn near everything else. I figure with that much right its gotta be alright.

Seriously, I would have no qualms about placing with a same sex couple, male or female. Tracy

[susie_book]

Originally Posted by 2momsinGA

Thank you for your reply--indeed it is an encouraging one. If I may ask, did you choose the family based on the strengths of the two individuals in the couple? What were some of your deciding factors that made you choose this particular couple?

Take care,
2MomsinGA

I had a whole list of characteristics I was looking for--I wanted a stay-at-home parent at the outset, I wanted a couple who were probably Democrats--but probably the most important factor was that the couple looked really, genuinely happy in their photo--that's much rarer than I would have expected. I'm a liberal, pro-choice Democrat, so I was biased slightly in favor of a queer couple; they seemed likely to share my core values. That's probably less helpful, but as my SW keeps telling me, there really is a match out there for every couple. Hope your wait isn't too long....

[taramayrn]

Susie_book - welcome to the forums. I would like you to know that adoption.com is NOT a matching site. So, it is against our rules for anyone to contact you in hopes of adopting your baby. If someone does contact you please let me or another moderator know.

[2momsinGA]

Susie_Book

Thank you for your reply. I think you and your SW are right--there is a match for every couple. I am very comfortable with the agency we are working with as two friends worked with them 6 or 7 years ago.

I appreciate your sharing the characteristics you were looking for when you chose the match for the child you're carrying.

Best of luck in everything!
Take care,
2MomsinGA

[2momsinGA]

Tazer,
Thank you for your reply. I think that people who know families that have two moms or two dads understand that most are very well-equipped and dedicated parents. I understand what you describe--there is a certain enthusiasm that many two-mom or two-dad parents have.
When people meet an actual same-sex parent family, it is harder to keep the stereotypes usually...
Take care,
2MomsinGA

[susie_book]

Originally Posted by taramayrn

Susie_book - welcome to the forums. I would like you to know that adoption.com is NOT a matching site. So, it is against our rules for anyone to contact you in hopes of adopting your baby. If someone does contact you please let me or another moderator know.

Thanks so much for the welcome--and if people out there are hoping, I am very happily matched anyway, so please look elsewhere.