[Tazer]

Originally Posted by 2momsinGA

Tazer,
Thank you for your reply. I think that people who know families that have two moms or two dads understand that most are very well-equipped and dedicated parents. I understand what you describe--there is a certain enthusiasm that many two-mom or two-dad parents have.
When people meet an actual same-sex parent family, it is harder to keep the stereotypes usually...
Take care,
2MomsinGA

Thank you so much for "getting" what I actually meant when I left such a stereotypical post! I went back and did this>> <<< after posting and realized that my response was awful. I have a nephew who is not only bi-racial (1/2 AA 1/2 CC) but at age 17 is 6'3. No matter where he goes someone is sure to remark he must be good at basketball or he will probably be a Rap Star someday. Dang perhaps he'll be a Fashion Designer or a Country and Western Banjo Picker! I'm sorry for my embarrassing post. Tracy ps BUT THEY REALLY ARE THE BEST AT EVERYTHING!

[djvj]

if i was given a profile of a two mom family and i felt that special "fit" with them as people, i would have NO problem with them both being moms...maybe i would want to make sure there is an uncle/friend around just to be a positive male role model if needed, but other than that it would not have made a difference to me personally. in 1985 i am sure i would have felt the same, although back then i never saw any profiles that were same sex.

[MoonlightLoveAngel]

While I am considering my adoption options (that's so funny to say aloud) right now, I'm actually putting two-mom families as a priority. I would also consider two-dad families and families where one of the parents is transgender or intersex. I'm bisexual myself (yes, we count. We're the B in LGBT after all. ) and have always been a firm believer that love is love, no matter what form it takes.

I also have this feeling that same-sex parents wouldn't impose near the amount of false concepts of "normality" that some hetero parents would, because their relationship in and of itself is sometimes not considered "normal". Normality is relative; where you feel comfortable and right.

Originally Posted by 2momsinGA

We are not involved in organized religion, but we encourage our children to learn about religion and the history of religions.

We're very involved in our children's lives and education, and we travel as a family in order to learn about other states. One day, we will begin to travel outside of the U.S.

These are two great qualities that you have going for you IMHO also! Especially the religion aspect, as a "generic Pagan" (as I put it) living right smack in the bible belt. I also like people who are willing to learn and teach their children about the rest of the country, world, and even their own state. (I can't tell you how many people my own age don't know anything outside the major city area that they live in. Yes, Texas is a big state, but holy cow how can you be that "nearsighted"??)

[MoonlightLoveAngel]

Just want to clarify something I typed earlier. I realize the way I have worded it might have come across in a way I did not intend. I did not mean that all or many hetero parents impose stupid "normalcy" boundaries because they are hetero. I guess I just have bad experience with the southern "traditional" stereotypes. Didn't mean to offend with anything I said, just kind of typed on the fly a bit.

[2momsinGA]

No offense taken--I understood what you meant about that.

[2momsinGA]

Hello.
Thank you for your encouraging reply. Based on your post, it does seem that there can be a good fit for any potential adoptive parent/couple.

I have lived in a lot of places where people were very, very "nearsighted" as I grew up in the bible belt as well (Little Rock, Arkansas). There are a lot of people here in GA who have no interest in what the world is like (even in other parts of the United States).

Best of luck in everything! I'm sure you'll find a great plan as you consider your options with adoption. I appreciate the thoughts that you shared.

Take care,
2MomsinGA

[BparentsCandJ]

I just have to say hang in there and you will find your child. Just a word of hope both children me and my husband placed in adoption were with a gay couple. We specifically asked for same sex PAP's when we started our journey for one specific reason, when my husbands parents divorced when he was a child his mothers friends stepped in to help raise him. They all happened to be gay. My husband (and me after meeting them) have always agreed they made the best parents in the world if someone would have just given them the chance. This is honestly one of the things that made me feel good for going through adoption, not only did we do what was best for our child we also gave a gift.
I do feel that we must warn you though, we have run into a lot of horror stories about people (birth parents and agencies) that pray on same sex couples since it seems to be harder for them to adopt. We really don't mean to scare you here just please be aware and stay informed the perfect match is out there.

[MoonlightLoveAngel]

Just popping back into the thread to update that I did in fact choose a two-mom family here in Texas. Couldn't be happier with them.

[2momsinGA]

Hello. Thank you for your reply. That is encouraging.
Take care!

[Marieblanken]

Hi 2 moms,

As a pregnant woman now and working to place this baby up for adoption, I wouldn't care if it was 2 women or 2 men, as long as I feel comfortable with them. To me at this time I just want a loving couple that will love this baby with everything they have. But, I haven't seen any profiles with a same sex couple. Make me wonder. Best of luck.

[2momsinGA]

Hello.
I think there are some websites that feature only heterosexual couples. There are some, however, that do include two-mom or two-dad families (and single applicants). It seems that, these days, more biological parents are considering people as people...
Best of luck in your search for the perfect placement for the child you are carrying.

[Magic_Hat]

Hi,
It's really encouraging to read everyone's posts! Thanks so much for your honesty.

2MomsinGA, it'll happen for you just as I know it'll happen for us again. We worried that it would be a long time before being chosen even though we knew our agency had placed with quite a few gay and lesbian couples. After only 5 months, our daughter's first mom chose us. She interviewed us and a straight couple after looking at many of the agency's profiles and in the end, it was us. She even said she only interviewed the other couple so she could feel she was being thorough. She said she has such a great mom, she can't imagine anything better than having two great moms! Thank goodness people are more open minded these days and luckily, there's lots of research out there that says that children of gay and lesbian parents are just as well adjusted as kids of straight parents.

[Rylee45]

It's probably too late to add my reply to this but I wanted to.

I personally don't know what kind of homes same sex parents have. I've never seen one. I don't have a problem with people who are gay as people because they ARE people and they have feelings and all that. I have aquaintences who are gay but I have heard "stories" about the "lifestyle". But that's all, stories.

But my personal opinion, although I don't feel comfortable with a child being raised in a same sex parent family, if I HAD to choose between only same sex couples (I know that wasn't the question) I would choose a 2 mom family. I'm extremely uncomfortable with dad/dad families.

Men in generaly aren't known for their "nurturing" and regardless of the men being gay they are still "men" and not a lot of men have that "mothering" thing going on. I don't know if I'm saying that right but I hope you get the idea of what I'm talking about.

I'm also just uncomfortable with men being alone with children for long periods. It comes from my own upbringing of being molested by my dad. So, it's one of MY "issues" with men and yes it's unfair and probably wrong to still have that feeling at my ripe old age of 50 but I still have problems emotionally with it.

When I met my husband he was (and still is) a wonderful man. We had our problems no doubt because we're humans dealing with humans but I couldn't leave my daughter alone with him for a LONG time becuase of my feelings about men and molesting issues. He never hurt my kids ever. But it was still in the back of my mind so I believe that's where I get some of my feelings about gay men raising children.

I kind of agree with one of the posts on this thread about the child of adoption having to deal with the same sex parents AND adoption issues. I think it would be harder for them to grow up without having to have some type counseling and the parents would have to work harder IMO than a hetrosexual couple would because of the sterotypes and issues the child would have to deal with outside the home when the parents wern't around to see it. Like at school and that sort of thing.

Rylee

[m-mom]

No, i would have not considered 2 moms. The core reason i placed my son was I felt he needed a mother and a father, i would have been a single mom and I feel that having those 2 roles in a child's life are extremely important.
other factors were
1. stay at home mom
2. married at least 5 years
3. No previous children
4. No previous marriages
So yes, your question about the relationship of the potential parents did play a major roll in the placement of my son.

[susie_book]

I do think it's a problem for same-sex couples that many women choose adoption because they are anti-choice, and many anti-choice people are more generally conservative. Still, I know there are agencies that cater to couples of every orientation.