[famousgloria9]

I just gave birth last Tuesday to a baby girl. I am single and only 20 years old. I have been going to counseling and had decided to place her for adoption, but that all changed after I gave birth to her. As soon as I had her, I fell in love. She is in foster care now, and I am hating every minute of it. And I am mad at myself for putting her there. I am going to see my counselor tomorrow and I told her that I was thinking that my decision has changed- I now want to parent her. I have a very supportive family (mom, dad, and sister). The rest of my family doesnt even know I was pregnant because most of my pregnancy took place while I was away at school-but I am sure they will love her. I know I will have some explaining to do if I keep her. And I know life wont be easy. I know I will have to sacrafice certain things because of her, and I am okay with that. I didnt think 'love at first sight' existed, until I met her. I cant stop thinking about her. I thought I knew what I wanted to do-- I didnt think I wanted to see her, or hold her-- but I ended up seeing her, holding her, feeding her, and changing her. Am I wrong for now wanting to parent her? Is it possible to raise her and give her a good life while being only 20 and single? (I know Ill have my family there, but overall itll be my responsibility.) Im afraid I have already failed as a parent. I wasnt even willing to give us a chance- and now I am crying every night because I want her back. If someone could give me their opinion or life experience I would really appreciate it. Thanks.

[Rondidondi]

Sweetie-GO GET YOUR DAUGHTER!!! Parent her!
Just because you were planning on an adoption DOES NOT in ANYWAY make you a bad mother.
I too had the same plan, my son was born and I couldn't do it. He's now 19 months old and I couldn't be happier that I decided to parent.

Congrats on becoming a mother!

[Mommy24]

How I wish I had the revelation you have had early enough to have kept my son. 20 and single does NOT mean that you can't be a great mom! I am so happy to hear that you want to keep your baby and with a supportive family to help, that makes it that much better!

Best of luck to you

[famousgloria9]

Thank you, I really needed to hear that. I didnt know Id get so attached the moment she arrived.

[Jo Ellen]

famousgloria I am an adoptee that has been reunited with my bparents 2 1/2 years now. I think it is wonderful that you want to keep your daughter and raise her. Of course there will be sacrifices. My bmom tells me if she had it to do over it would be different but of course we are way past that now so we are building our relationship on what we can now. Go get your daughter, love your daughter and believe you will be a great mother to her because you will be.

[EZ2Luv]

Honey,

God has blessed you with this revelation before you signed any papers. Please Go and get your daughter and love her and YES you can be a great parent. I ll bet that are plenty of bmoms here wishing they had teh chance that you do.

I am not sure if you have PAPs picked out but please know that you do not owe anyone YOUR baby. She is yours and you are her mother and that is all that matters. You don't have to explain anything to anybody. PAPs know this when they pursue adoption taht there is alway a possibiility that the bmom will decide to parent. Don't worry about them, just concerntrate on your baby girl
EZ

[bromanchik]

I agree with your the others... go get your daughter!

It is not selfish to want to parent your own child.

And Congratulations on being a new Mommy!

[mandirenee]

You will be a wonderful mother. Just because you were exploring your options does not mean that you have been a bad parent. In fact, I belive you are a great parent because you have been putting your daughter 1st as you make your decision. I also know that if you chose adoption you also wouldn't be a bad parent. Bottom line - you are a loving mother. Go get your little girl and show her that love. best of luck!!!!

[josh1788smom]

Just wanted to send my support. I am so happy for you!!! Congratulations!!! I wish I would have been as strong as you are. Being a bmom is the title I hate most in my life. I love being a mom!!! Kids are a complete and total blessing and little miracle to the world, and as babies they have the ability to ground us and make us stop and think of what is truly important. I am so glad you will be able to have your daughter to teach you these lessons while you are teaching her really important lessons as she grows.

Kuddos to your family - there are many bmoms who would not be birthmoms if they had a supportive family.

Blessings to all of you!!! NOW - GO GET YOUR DAUGHTER!!!

[mg1970]

You are not a failure as a parent. This pregnancy was not planned, you did what you thought was right -- but you did not consult your heart. You know what you need to do but you don't know how. You will figure it out. Go get her -- you are her mother, you will figure it out.

Even those of us who tried really hard to become first time parents have much learning to do. But we figured it out.

I hope you can find the resources in your community to help you such as how to get insurance for your daughter (if you are uninsured), if you need help financially, etc.

Congrats on your baby girl.
M

[famousgloria9]

Just wanted to update:

First off, thank you for the support! It means alot to me knowing that others are confident in my decision making and for not judging me.

Today I went with my parents to talk to my counselor. Right now, I am in the process of coming up with a parenting plan. I need to figure out expenses, daycare, etc...since I am planning on continuing with school.

All I needed was for some others to instill on me that I can do it. I grew up with both parents... my entire family has grown up with both parents and no divorces. Therefore, my situation is completely different. I needed to hear from others about their experiences to truly understand what single parents are capableof.. and I got that.

Once again, thanks for all the support. I will be going back next week to get my daughter.. as soon as I figure out all the other stuff.

[sstuart]

I am so glad to hear that. Keep coming here if you like as well. I am so happy for you and your daughter.

[Rondidondi]

YA-HOO! I bet you are so excited.
I hope all the planning goes smoothly.
Please-keep us post!

[simpleme]

Hi, I haven't been on here in a long time, as it was too painful for me to be in the adoption world. Just happened to come on today... This time last year, I was pregnant and ready to place to my child for adoption after the child was born. But... I didn't go through with it. I ended up parenting my daughter. Reading your story reminds me a lot of my own... so I am so dog gone happy for you, girl! Not one day goes by where I do not regret keeping my baby! If I had gone through with placing my child for adoption, I would have been left with an emptiness forever. I wish you all the best in the world! It made my day to hear your story!!! Please pm me if I can be of any help, take care.

[fairydust159]

I just wanted to throw in my two cents and applaude you for making the choice to parent! I'm sure you will be a fantastic mother, and don't you let anyone tell you otherwise!! There is no shame that you considered adoption, so don't let that hold you back! Congratulations on your little girl... go get her!