[HairStylist08]

I am new to all of this, and I just want to give alittle amount of advice that I wish someone would had gave me. I am 24 years old, and last year my "ex" and I found out that we were pregnant. Before we found this information out, we had planned a life together. A week after the news, he told me that if I didn't get an abortion that our relationship wouldn't last...I believe him and I went through with the procedure and it was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life...He is no longer in my life, after the choice we made, was terminated he left me...and I have to live with the choice that we made. I live with the nightmares, the sadness, the regret, and the pain. I made the wrong choice, and now it's too late to take the past back. This was not my only option that I had, but at the time I felt like it was. I would not want anyone to live with the pain that I do everyday. I was only 5 weeks along with this took place, so it's not true that the earlier into the pregnancy the easier it is, it's not easy! I hope everyone the best and I hope you all make a decision better than I made. Thanks so much.

[josh1788smom]

I am sorry for your grief, pain, and loss. I pray for you to be able to grieve and heal.

[RobinKay]

Prayers going for you, wish I could do more.

[sstuart]

(((hugs)))

[taramayrn]

So sorry this happened to you.

[Janeytwo]

Hi. My name's Janey.

I'm so sorry that all of this happened to you. I can only imagine how betrayed you must feel by your ex. Sometimes, other people's selfishness is beyond understanding.

I live with the nightmares, the sadness, the regret, and the pain. This was not my only option that I had, but at the time I felt like it was. I hope everyone the best and I hope you all make a decision better than I made.

You know I think the decisions are never easy; no matter which one we choose. Even mom's who keep their babies spend a lifetime grappling with that choice.
I think simply by virtue of the fact that we are women, it makes it that much harder. Like so many have said here darned if you do, darned if you don't.

We each of us makes the choice that we are able to live with.

Wishing you better days.

Janey

[SchmennaLeigh]

Originally Posted by Janeytwo

We each of us makes the choice that we are able to live with.

Or, we should.

My adoption decision has left me with the same regret, nightmares and the like. I don't think there's any one decision regarding the two topics being discussed here that comes without emotional turmoil of some kind. Having not experienced both, I can't speak for those who have had an abortion. But I can speak to my own grief and loss.

[karsonsmom]

I'm so sorry for your pain and grief. I will pray that you find some peace and that you love yourself (and "forgive" yourself?). You did what you believed was the right thing at the time. I know God wants to hold you while you grieve and help heal your pain.
hugs and love to you, dear one.

[cetalley]

Isn't it quite the choice to have to make.....I will start my opinion with..It is good we as humans have CHOICE....I have been in both shoes...painful as both were! I will sadly say that for me and my GOD, the decision to relinquish my twins , was by far the hardest...to this day I grieve! I am constantly wondering about my boys. I have such a far distant memory of my abortion. Am I cold and cruel...I do not know I will bare that cross forever! I do know I miss my babies and not knowing.....

[bajj]

i agree with Jenna, this is 2 different options. I will not state my opinions on abortion, but I will say, adoption is not a solution to pregnancies. When you are pregnant, you choose if you want to carry the baby or abort. When you give birth you choose if you wnat to parent, or place.

I am very sorry for your pain and hope you are able to find a path to healing.

[paigeturner]

Originally Posted by bajj

When you are pregnant, you choose if you want to carry the baby or abort. When you give birth you choose if you wnat to parent, or place.

This is a perfect statement. This is reality. Perfect.

Thanks.

[Janeytwo]

Dear Hairstylist,

Just wondering how you're doing? And also sending a hug your way.

Janey

[djvj]

Originally Posted by Janeytwo

You know I think the decisions are never easy; no matter which one we choose. Even mom's who keep their babies spend a lifetime grappling with that choice.
I think simply by virtue of the fact that we are women, it makes it that much harder. Like so many have said here darned if you do, darned if you don't.


Janey

i agree, no decision is ever "the only one" or "the right way". abortions can be traumatic and painful; adoptions can be traumatic and painful; and i'm sure that paranting can be traumatic and painful. there is no easy decision.

i am very sorry for your pain and hope you can move towards peace with yourself and knowing you did the best you could do under the circumstances. when i am struggling with feelings like this about my choice to relinquish my birthdaughter i just try to remind myself that things happen for a reason and the past cannot be changed.

best of luck

[cetalley]

I was just reading your post again today,and wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you are having a better day than ones before. You made a decision that will effect you probably for eternity, but do know that you need to forgive yourself. I believe there is a higher power in the unniverse whom has 2 huge open arms just waiting to hug you and forgive you. GOD BLESS...and know you have people that will listen and care about you...

[Jo Ellen]

HairStylist..... I am so sorry you are faced with this loss and this pain. I am an adoptee and realize that bmoms and their babies go through a loss with adoption and moms who go through abortions go through a loss as well. Loss is loss either way and none of it is easy. Just know that you have support here from many and you don't have to face your grief alone.