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Originally Posted by lilaustinsmommy
Hey Everyone. I'm really hoping I can get some good advice and insight from this forum. My situation is that of a soap opera and I'm running out of time. I am 26 years old, married and have a 3 year old son. I got pregnant, planned, in November and found out my husband and I were expecting twins. This was a complete shock to us, but over time we got adjusted to the idea. Well, in retrospect I got adjusted to the idea. My husband just started having an affair with a co-worker. I found out about the affair in March, and my husband kept promising me it was over and he picked our family and he was done with her. We started counciling and I thought things were better. Well this of course was not true and we've got to the point where he left, without leaving, just not really coming home. I'm staying with my parents and he's staying at her place, unless it's his days to have our son, then he's at our old house. I am due to have the babies the 3rd week of July so I'm hoping to have 10 weeks yet of time to make the hardest decision I'll ever have to make in my life. Parent 3 children, 2 of which are twins by myself, with little to no income, depending on my husbands child support to pay my rent, and having the logistical problem of 1 person 3 children. My biggest fears are just not being able to do it, literally, I have 3 children that need me at the same moment and I'm only one person, I can't meet all their needs. Of course financially is a huge thing. I know that there are government programs to help, but it will be me, not anyone else, having to live in government housing, which where I live are slums, having to recertify every 6 months for all programs, go from government program to government program FOREVER. I'm worried about my mental status through all of this, Having to work 2 jobs just to scrape by stretched to my breaking point, tired all of the time and never even really spending time with them because of everything else I will have to do. My husband wants to keep the babies, of course he does. He wants everything. He wants to have his girlfriend, have his son on "his days" and get to come visit his twin girls when it's convenient for him...however the closer it gets to time the more open to adoption he is becoming. We are having a meeting with a counselor from a non-profit agency this weekend so I can get some info. The #1 thing I hear from your posts says to research all your options, where can I find all this info to research. I feel like most stuff comes from an agency, and I'm a bit weary of just taking it as it is. I really feel lost, I feel like deep down I know the best thing for EVERYONE, myself, my son and the girls would be to give them up, to a family that wants them and can take care of them, so I can take care of myself and my son. But I feel like my heart is breaking, and I don't know if I could ever hand them over. Am I being selfish in thinking of my son and myself ??? Will I ever be able to make a decision ??? This is the most horrible thing I've ever had to go through. Please help if you have any advice. Thank you.
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08-23-2008, 11:16 PM
Hold On In There
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