[karsonsmom]

I read your post and see that you are in counseling which is fantastic and I agree that husband hasn't even attempted to be truthful, given what you've said. So enough about him, as we don't know what he will ever do, but either way, he IS obligated to help fiancially. It is true that it was 21 years ago when I had my son and I certainly am NOT holding myself out as the great example type of thing, but the economy was comparable then to what it is now. It was a bad time then, too, and you are right---one child, not 3. But I also didn't live with my parents, I did have a mortgage and a car payment and other things to pay for and I did get back to work after maternity leave. We also live in a small town and I worked with our legislature to get daycare funding for poor women who were working or in school as we didn't have it in our county. By the time we got it, I received it for a month before I was ineligible because I got married . But anyway, some of the resources you mention you don't know exist: Is there day care funding if you were to go to work or school? If you wanted to pursue a degree in say Nursing, are you aware that there are tons of money available to pay for it? If you went to work at a hospital of just about any size, doing ANY job including housekeeping or food service, they will often pay your tuition and books while you are their employee? Your parents sound like they want to help but also don't want to be left with 3 kids to raise by themselves. Perhaps they could agree to allow you to live there for maybe 3 years or so while you work to get a 2 year degree in something that will give you enough money to support your family. There are food programs (we have WIC) to help a little with groceries, food stamp program, Medicaid for health care or some type of children's health care for free while they are under 6 of so. Call your local department of family and children's services. Why isn't your Agency telling you about any of these things? They probably know about them.
These are not solutions to the whole picture, and I don't mean to sound like they are. I just want you to not feel so hopeless.
I am a twin. We were born when my brother was 2. My mom turned 21 two weeks after we were born, and my dad made very little money at his job. Things were VERY hard for them (and they certainly still had it better than you I'm sure) but he worked swing shift and so most of the time she was alone with us. She did get alot of help from neighbors and some family and whatnot. She was overwhelmed and terrified (they thought for a while that we were triplets and not twins) but we all made it. Again, whatever you choose I'm sure will be for the best. I just can't stand the thought that you will be forever sorry. Lots of hugs to you today.

[calimomX3]

I have been following your post since it started. You sound like a wonderful and caring person. You also seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Yes, you and your husband could work out the problems you are having, sometimes the marriage can even get better. On the other hand, he is most likely lieing to both of you women to get what he needs from both of you. You don't need that. My personal opinion on your situation is as follows and PLEASE only take it as my opinion and nothing else. I dont want to upset you or anyone else. From the sounds of your posts it sounds like you love these babies but have kind of stepped back and looked at reality as far as having them and raising them on your own. I think you know in your heart you truly can not do it and that your husband is not going to be there for you or your 3 children. The best thing for you, your son and the twins is to find a wonderful loving family that can provide for the twins, I am not familiar with adoptions and how they work. But is their a way you can find a family near you that you could maybe see the twins? Or maybe you need them to be far away to have full closure. Just know in your heart that if you do make the decision to find them adoptive parents that you are doing what is right for them and giving them something you can not give them right now. Hugs to you, you are a strong person and mom.

[lilaustinsmommy]

Hey everyone, long time no posting That's because I've had my 2 beautiful baby girls. I went into labor on the 1st of July at 34 weeks. They were able to stop the labor, but kept me in the hospital on bed rest advising me that I could be there for weeks before I delivered. My contractions started again on the 6th. Elizabeth Claire was born at 11:47 PM and Kaylen Michelle was born @ 11:48. I had a c-section, and the father was there. Things were kinda scary and my doctor had a hard time getting the babies out. When you start hearing your doctor curse and people scrambling and calling for backup you start thinking (even with all the drugs) and the only thought in my head was that I've been trying to give my babies away this whole time and they are going to die right here. I started crying like a baby and knew in that instant there was no choice. They are my darling girls and I will do anything that I have to to make sure they have everything they need. My husband and I are also trying to figure things out in between us. Who knows what will happen with that, but I am prepared to do whatever I need to on my own. They are 11 days old today and hopefully will be home within the next week. Being so early they need help getting all their calories with a feeding tube. I can't wait to get them home. If anyone is interested in seeing pictures of the girls, you can visit my myspace. MySpace.com - Aubrey - 26 - Female - US - www.myspace.com/aubseybobsey Thank you to everyone for their support and advice to get through this situation.

[Rondidondi]

Congrats. I'm so happy for you!

[taramayrn]

Congratulations!

[blessedbybug]

Congratulations! And many, many blessings on your family...

[stinky_kitty]

That's awesome news!!

[loveajax]

Congratulations!!! What pretty names! Enjoy!

[kakuehl]

I love the picture in my space. Please know that we are here to support you. I will keep you in my prayers.

[EZ2Luv]

What great news to come home to!!! Congradulations!! Enjoy those babies they are a blessing.
EZ

[karsonsmom]

I am crying with joy! How wonderful for all concerned!! What a wonderful story you have to share--a ministry some day--with other women who are faced with this awesome and terrifying choice. I can just see you standing in front of groups of young women or other youth groups, etc., and having soooo much to share!! God bless you, my dear, and all your family!!

[bromanchik]

Congratulations! This is wonderful news.

[calimomX3]

YEA!!!! I am sooooo happy for you!!!!!11

[cbrink7]

Congratulations on your beautiful baby girls! Twins are the best (but I am an identical twin, and I had twin boys so I may be biased here )

They are absolutely beautiful babies, and I am so happy for you that they are healthy!

Take care

[mommytomykids]

Originally Posted by karsonsmom

Maybe the answer has come and you just haven't "heard" God. I want to tell you something that alot of women would be infuriated to hear or read: Your marriage shouldn't be over (if he does decide to return to you and his family) just because of this affair and it is what "most women" would say they would do (I wouldn't put up with some man cheating on me-kind of thing). I'm not suggesting that you put up with a man who CONTINUES to cheat, but I do know couples who have managed to overcome this. Is there NO way to get counseling for your marriage? I would really love to see you spending more time thinking of ways to make that work, and if it won't, ways to make it work with you keeping your babies, instead of what appears to be quite a bit of planning for the adoption. So many of these women have posted things that should give you true pause: Your situation could change at any moment. Perhaps it would change the very hour you relinquished your babies. Maybe it won't. I can tell you exactly what sort of things I would be doing, as I did parent my son alone (not married, but did have wonderful family) and poor when he was born 21 years ago. I understand struggle, but as I lay there waiting on the birth of those babies, I would have the phone book beside me calling every single agency I could possibly find to beg for help. I would walk right up to the front of my church congregation on Sunday morning and say, "I am going to have to put these babies, whom I already love, up for adoption because my husband has run off. If there is anything anyone of you could do to help me raise these 3 precious children, I would be forever grateful. We need housing, clothes, diapers, and people willing to help me rock and change diapers. In a few years, if things don't look up, I'm going to need bigger clothes for them and school supplies. Please pray for us and if you are so led to do anything beyone that, I thank you." I PROMISE you that you will be very surprised at how many people will help you, through God's grace and guidance. And I am praying for you now. If you do decide on adoption, I am not judging you at all. That is often the most loving choice. But I feel in my heart that you have already heard the "Answer", you are just (understandably) afraid of the answer. Hugs and love and kisses.

Brought tears to my eyes!

Congratulations on your decision!!!!! So happy for you!