[ValerieP]

I am going to toss out a couple of ideas out...

My first thoughts for you is to take you time making your decision. There is no time limit here... While you are deciding and talking with a counselor that is not biased, look into all the support mechanisms out there... If you are considering going to college, there are schools with daycare options right on campus. If you are considering working, there are subsidies for paying for day care. The father is legally responsible for paying for his share - even if he is not in the picture... meet and network with other young mothers for play dates and support. It all can help out...

If you look into adoption, visit all the various degrees of open adoptions, semi open and closed. If you would consider adoption, you could ask for as many visits you would like, emails, photos, outings, anything.

I wish only the best for you...and your precious little one...

[noddy05]

Hey everyone. just wanted to add, that im pretty sure most of you are american? just a guess. but im from australia and we only have open adoption here.and the mum of the child basically makes all the rules about the adoption (to a certain extent) with the aoptive parents..... and to add im not at school anymore so study isnt something i have to worry about rite now.

things just got more difficult too, because my mum changed her mind (wanting me to adopt her out) and would rather me keep my baby. but. im still indecisive... but thanks for all the feed back =]

[BethanyB]

Would it be possible for your parents to be legal guardians for a while? I'm not sure how that works but it sounds as if there is something inside you that is telling you to keep this child.

[taramayrn]

Open adoption or some form of it is also very common here in the US and in Canada.

I think it's great that your mom is on board for you parenting - if that's what you want to do.

[Oceans]

I think it's GREAT that your parents will support you - Your parents are another resource to help you with your parenting plan. However, I very much respect the fact that you are still considering your options. It certainly says (to me) you have the maturity to raise a child if that is what you choose. Keep looking to the long term and you will make the right choice for you.

Again congrats on your baby girl!

[Howdy]

It is a huge decision. If you keep her you need to be sure that you can remain loving toward her no matter what, i.e., no future comments to your rebelling teenager daughter like 'I should have never kept you'. And if you go ahead with the adoption plan, then you need to work on dealing with the grief and not let it become an obsession for the rest of your life.

How well do you handle past frustration, annoyance, and sleeplessness? Will you stay patient with the baby when she's crying crying crying?
How well do you handle past griefs (such as losing a pet, some people never get another pet because they have such poor grief handling skills)? If you let her go will you crash into a morass of grief and never come back up?

Whichever choice you make is going to require effort on your part, but I'm sure you can succeed either way! Know yourself and let that help you know which decision is best.

Whichever choice you make, let yourself be happy and don't over-dwell on the what-ifs.

[rainmon]

there are soooo many people who never really thought they enjoyed or even liked children....until they had their very own....its a very strange phenomenon......but oh so true.
if your heart is melting....then that is love for your daughter you are feeling, very special indeed.
so like others have said...follow your heart on this one ...as there are soooo many resources out there for mothers just like you....that want to love and nurture & keep there own, but are financially unable to at this time. reach out.
and I'm so happy to hear your parents are on board with you... :~D

[josh1788smom]

Noddy -

First Congratulations!!!

Second, parental support is huge at this stage of your life. There are many birthmoms, like me, that would not be birthmoms if we had some parental support in parenting. Not saying all, just some I've read on here similar to myself.

Third, someone said it in an earlier post, your life will never be the same. You will not forget this happened. There was a common misconception when my son was born that the birthmother would place, and then, move on with her life. (my son is 19) Although I did live a life, I've graduated college, grad school, gotten married, and had 3 other kids, part of me left with my son. There was no getting over it and moving on with my life. I lived in the delusion he would be so glad to know I never wanted to give him up when he turned 18, that I was slapped in the face basically by him, when he was 18 finding out he really didn't seem to care one way or the other. We've met but we are not what I would call reunited. The relationship is forever changed.

Fourth, I don't think until they are your kids you can know if you want to be a parent. I think I like kids - I have 3 of my own, and I love and like them. BUT - there are other little kids out there I don't like.

Good luck in processing all the new found information. Good luck in dealing with all the hormones and emotions in your body right now. Best wishes with your decision. Keep us posted.

[Wynona]

Congrats on your baby! Take your time on your decision. Think it through. Make the decision that is best for you and your baby. Hope it all works out real soon.

[noddy05]

Hello everyone. just thought ud like to know that ive finally made my decision. ive decided to keep jayde.

thanks to everyone that posted replies..it really helped =]

[RavenSong]

Congratulations on your new baby daughter! This has been a huge decision for you to make. I'm glad you're listening to your heart, though. May God wrap His loving arms around both you and Jayde. Sending you good thoughts and a great big hug!

[bromanchik]

Welcome to parenthood! It is truly the best thing I have ever done. Enjoy your life raising your daughter.

[happygmom]

Congratulations!! Best wishes to you and your extended family who are blessed with a new life to nurture.

Happy G'Ma

[josh1788smom]

Congratulations and best wishes to you and your daughter.