[Momtonick]

We have not been matched yet but for me picking out a name will be very important and I want to have the full input of the emom.
I plan to ask her if she has an important name to consider. If not, I hope she will choose the name from a few we have considered and hope to incorporate her name somehow, maybe as a middle name.
To me, it is important to honor her in some way and I think it will be especially important to the child someday.

[Resseda]

I did choose to name my son after he was born. He had the name his father and I called him when I pregnant, and my father's name as his middle name. It was, as a pp said, very important for me to know that if he ever looked, he would know that we cared enough to name him. I keep a journal for him, just in case he ever comes looking for me, and just this morning, I explained the significance of the name.

Ress

[attimeofwriting]

There was a name that was sticking with me the whole time I was pregnant. I put that name on my baby's originial birth certificate, even though I had asked what they were planning to name him (it was different than what I chose). When I write letters that I actually send, I call him by his new name. When I write things to him that I plan to share when he is an adult, I call him by my name for him. I like their name for him, but I felt like I wanted to call him something else when I was in the hospital with him, when I was the only mother he knew. I don't know if that makes sense, but it does to me.

[furrybluemom]

Our 3 boys were foster /adopt and we kept their names as they came to us. We are now planning to adopt a baby girl due in October. We would like the bmom to pick out her first name if she is comfortable doing that. We haven't brought the subject up with her yet. My problem is when people ask me what we are going to name the baby and I tell them our plan to let the bmom pick the name they are not very supportive of our decission. In fact a really good friend is constantly suggesting names to me just in case the name is unusable. Has anyone else faced this issue?

[DallasGirl]

In my case, the name was decided on mutually. You can name the baby, but they can also choose new name for baby as parents. feel free to im me: nicoleindallas1

[Emberbit]

Wow...this is an old thread. I delivered back in March. I chose my daughter's parents VERY carefully (as I'm sure everyone does) and one of the things important to me was a name chosen by me that would be kept and used. She is a little over 6 months old now. Her two birth certificates show the same first and middle name I had chosen, and her last name on the original birth certificate is her a-parents' last name.

I see how many of you on this thread and elsewhere on the site said essentially, “b-mom can put what she wants on the original birth certificate but the a-parents have the right to change it later.” Yes, they do have the right…but for any e-mom out there who thinks the name is important, it IS possible to find parents who will allow baby to keep the one you choose.

I matched independently and I talked to a lot of couples by email or on the phone. From the 50-60 profiles I read, I talked to a dozen who looked like they “might” be a match, making it clear to them that I was making no promises and was looking for specific thing. Then I asked only open ended questions. Only 5 were willing to agree to keep the name I chose without ever hearing what name I had chosen. Of those, I narrowed it down to two based on their locations. And I drove to meet both before making my final decision based on which I felt I got along with best.

I can’t say how it will be in a year, or 5 years or 15 years. We have had a few little bumps but things are going good.

[taramayrn]

Thank you so much for the update!!

[KarynB]

Thanks for the update - it is so neat to hear how things turn out. And I am glad you stuck to your guns and made sure you got what was important to you.

On another note - I see in your siggy that you are/were pumping for your baby while the amom induces lactation - that is really, really cool. I am also breastfeeding our adopted son (adopted internationally). I now help other amoms who are thinking about it. Can I ask you - was this something important to you, the amom, or both? I'd love to hear more about it if you feel like it - if not, I totally understand that too!

[Adopted-B-4]

I just wanted to say, with our twins, their bio mom asked us specifically if we had names picked out and we did but were open to the names she had chosen. She assured us it would be fine to name them what we had chosen with her last name on the original birth certificate. It was the day they were born that she changed her mind and named them what she had chosen, she said she knew their last names would be changed anyway and felt we could change the names as we wanted but wanted them to know she loved them enough to choose names for them. If we hadn't been calling them by the names we chose all along, we probably would have kept the names she chose. As for our daughter, her biomom asked what names we were thinking and when we told her, she was very excited since it was a name she had thought about naming her other daughter. I think it honestly depends on the bio mom and what she really feels is important as well as the adoptive parents, that's what makes it a match, right?

[Emberbit]

To me, naming was important. I know not every e-mom will make it one of their criteria. But I wanted to say, it could be done, because SO many people told me no and were insistent that I should give up that want. So many people said that if I wanted baby to keep the name I chose, that must mean I wasn’t actually sure of my plan to place. I wanted people to see that it is possible to find whatever you feel you need in an a-family no matter how many people tell you it’s not possible or that they don’t agree. Keep searching until you find someone who does. You’re right. That’s what makes it a match…but too many of the b-parents I’ve met “settle” and I think they should be encouraged to find that perfect match no matter how long it takes.

Pumping…It wasn’t my plan at all. My plan was to nurse in the hospital (there are many health benefits for mom and baby from early and on-demand nursing but after reading the pamphlets, I offered without really knowing how much work it would be and how much contact would result form it. Then after 5-months of baby being exclusively fed my milk (from bottles and occasionally straight from the tap), I told the a-parents that I couldn’t’ keep it up any more; it was too much contact, too much work. We compromised in that I would wean form the pump slowly…but baby had bad reactions to formula and the a-mom decided to induce lactation. I’m not weaning from the pump as fast as I’d like…but a-mom’s supply is starting to slowly come in (I have no idea what she’s doing). She wasn’t planning to nurse at all originally and now she’s talking about “extended nursing”…