[mjkerrin]

Hello. I'm new here. My name is Mallory and I'm from California. A friend from another support group directed me here. I have a question about choosing a family for my baby. I've looked at several profiles and now I'm at a point where I need to choose a family. I feel a great connection to one of them. They are the only family that I've had contact with and we have so much in common. So many people tell me that I need to talk with several families before I make a final decision or I may regret my decision or always question myself. I guess I was curious to see if others in my situation feel or felt that it's important to talk to several couples. Any advice would be welcome!

Thanks, Mallory

[Mommy24]

Mallory~ Welcome to the forums I believe that we just "Know" when we have found the right people in many aspects of our lives. If you feel a connection in your heart, then I say follow it. I dont believe that you will regret your decision because you felt like you chose the wrong parents for your child.

Good luck and we are glad you are here

[mjkerrin]

Michelle,

Thanks. Sometimes I wish there were a guide about this process. I never want to regret my decision and all of those telling me that I need to talk with several couples have never been in my shoes.

Thanks, Mallory

[taramayrn]

Welcome Mallory. I don't think that you need to talk to more than one family. I believe you know when a family is right for you and you should pursue that family. When I was searching for a family for my son over 7 years ago I only spoke with one family and that is the family who is raising him today.

You need to do what is right for you and your baby. If you feel that this family is right, then pursue them.

I also need to remind you that it is NOT okay for someone to contact you from this site offering to adopt your baby. If you recieve such emails or pm's please forward them to either myself, Mommy24 or any of the other members of the moderating team.

[mjkerrin]

Tara,

Thank you. I really appreciate you sharing.

Mallory

[ssshhh]

I also only met with one couple. Went through 3 letters but something just stuck with me in one of the letters. That is who is raising my birthdaughter. I agree that you just know. May I say though if it is an open adoption to sit down and talk with them about how open you both wish it to be. I did not do this and of the regret that I struggle with it is that I did not know how opened the adoption could have been. I did not have a lot of family support and didnt know what questions to ask. I can only hope I can give birth mothers some support in this area now through this site. Good luck and God bless you during this time.

[mjkerrin]

Ssshhh,

Thanks for your thoughts. I really do appreciate it. Having those of you that have been in my shoes share with me, really helps me feel more confident in my thoughts and feelings.

Mallory

[Hey Nonny]

It sounds like people are just wanting to make sure that you have all the information you need before you decide. It is kind of like dating... you will be connected to them forever. I think that the people giving you the advice want to be sure you know all the options before you decide. Just like if you decided to marry the first person you ever dated. It doesn't mean that it is wrong and you won't be happy, it just means that people close to you will make sure that you feel confident in that choice so that you don't look back and say "I wish I had known....."

Good luck to you.......

BTW...I am an amom so I don't have any advice. With one of my kids the agency picked us and with the other she said she just thought that our daughter looked like she would be a good sister. I think that everyone chooses for their own reasons. You just have to think about it, pray about it if you are religious, do the best you can and then take a leap of faith. I would just be sure that you feel comfortable with them and feel that they are people you can talk to and communicate with. I don't know if you are doing open adoption, but your comfort level (and theirs) with communication will be key to finding the groove in your relationship. There are lots of mammas here that can help you with that one.

Congratulations on your new little life and best of luck in the coming months.....

[mommieof2cuties]

I placed my daughter almost 12 years ago and the family I spoke to and visited with was the one I picked. The family was around for the birth and we have a wonderful relationship today. It was hard at times but has been well worth it. I wish you luck and the MODS have given you good advice.

God Bless,
Summer