[Shellikin]

I know what you mean.... I had my son a little over a month ago on the 8th of September, signed my rights over on the 11th.

I was going through all of that from the 6th month on... nightmares (mostly about not making it to the hospital on time) and just generally conflicting emotions. I knew I was going to do the adoption, I was 100% that adoption was right in this case (even though I did meet a guy who would be an awesome father, who even said "I've always wanted a family" before he knew about the adoption plans). But I was still feeling like I was breaking.

For me, it got better when I saw the looks on the adoptive parents faces when the baby was born. Watching them hold him for the first time, it felt right. Then they left and the feelings got a lot worse. No one warned me that the post partum hormones are worse than the ones you get when you're pregnant. But it's been almost a month and a half since he was born and the down times are getting fewer and farther between.

Honestly... only you know what's right. You'll get people on these boards who have had really bad experiences with adoption and some (like me) have had good experiences. It is a loss, but in my case, I felt that my son deserved better than I could provide him at that specific point. This was the only way I could give him everything he needs and wants over the next 18 years.