[karaleah]

Originally Posted by BoxerLady6

See....they way I see it is THAT is wrong too. That actually happened to me. They were making it next to impossible for me to place. (and made me feel like crap for not wanting to parent) I knew I didnt want to parent and they didn't want to hear it.
I actually was seeing a doctor thru the CPC and they wouldn't do an ultrasound until I "reconsidered" my decsion. Of course they didn't SAY that, but in a round-about way.

Actually, I tend to agree with you. I pointed it out, though, because my understanding is that a lot of people think that most CPCs are in cahoots with agencies and pressure expectant moms into placing. Definitely not the case with this one. Hey! Maybe we're talking about the same place.... (probably not. Though if you're in California....)

I'm sorry you had to fight the do-gooders just to do what was right for you and your baby.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Fight the do-gooders. Interesting notion.

[karaleah]

Originally Posted by BrandyHagz

In my opinion, any Crisis Pregnancy Center that is 'Pro" or 'Anti' ANYTHING isn't doing their job.

A Crisis Pregnancy Center, in my opinion, should offer unbiased and unmotivated information and advice on resources for all options available.

If they are doing anything short of that - they are alienating *someone*.

Ideal? Sure. I just don't think it's very realistic. We all have agendas as individuals (we're all "pro" and "anti" different things) and this will inevitably color how we interact with others. And you bring that into the realm of reproduction/abortion/single parenting/adoption... well, there's a lot at stake and a lot of passion on both sides of the debate.

I think the best we can hope for is that the agenda be apparent from the get-go so people in crisis (in this case, expectant moms) know the agenda (pro/anti - whatever) walking in and make their choices accordingly.

Shari

[vera19]

karaleah, i definately understand what you are saying and i somewhat agree with you. i think it all comes down to the individual Crisis Pregnancy Center it self. Its really unfortunate that there are Crisis Pregnancy Centers like that. But they do seem to be everywhere. i truely believe that just going with your gut feeling and what you feel in your heart(whether abortion, adoption, or parenting) is the best to do.... and thats hard enough with all the influences around.

[DianeS]

This was an interesting post for me to read, because my mother volunteered for a Crisis Pregnancy Center answering their telephone (many, MANY years ago).

I knew the Center she worked with was pro-life, but I never heard if they took a stand for/against parenting or adoption.

But I do know that Center did try to be honest about what they did. If someone called to ask about a service they didn't provide, they couldn't tell the person where to get that service, but could tell them that Center wouldn't be able to help them with that.

And that was for anything. They didn't give referrals for abortion services, but neither did they give referrals for low-income housing, or bail-bond services. It just wasn't on the "list" of things they did. On the other hand, they did quite a variety of services - referrals for doctors, medicaid, WIC, immigration services for mothers who were here illegally, employment assistance, food pantries, baby furniture/clothing, maternity clothing, etc. I even remember my mother once staying up late to sew a doll-size dress for one woman whose baby was stillborn a couple months early, and she had made a request for a funeral garment that fit her baby.

Interesting how it sounds like they're a bit different from each other...

[Growing]

[Removed, as this is someone else's words posted without their permission and for the purpose of attacking.]

[reworded] I was reading letters on one of the hundreds of sites all over the internet trying to recruit a birthmom.

As an adult adoptee I just want to say these things make me sick. I cannot believe people allow advertisements for a human life! That is what it is. I don't care who disagrees - I think that is what it is. I think, Adoption should be done by state run organizations who have no vested interest in the outcome.

I don't see how adoptees are sitting back and letting this take place without a fuss. It is because so many adoptees take a very, very long time to get courageous enough to speak out against the way adoption is run in this country.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

You didnt see these letters at a Crisis Pregnancy Center.... did you?

[Growing]

No, but there is an adoption agency in my area with the words "crisis pregnancy" in the name. They use Dear Birthmom letters such as the one I took excerpts from.
I didn't realize I was attacking anyone. I was simply stating my opinion about Dear Birthmom letters in general and the fact that adoption in this country is run by organizations that have a vested interested in the outcome, so therefore, counseling is usually not unbiased.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Oh I agree with you 100%. I just reworded your response to come across as your opinion, not a generalization.

You are right... I dont think an adoption agency should have crisis pregnancy in its name....

[timni]

When dh and I were just married and still in college I thought I was pg. We had no $, no job, and no insurance and were very freaked out. We went to a CPC because I couldn't afford to go to a dr. They were horrible. We spent 2 hrs with different counsellors and every pro life ( which I am by the way) literature you could think of before they would even tell me I was pg.

Needless to say I did not go back to them for prenatal care. Ironically I went thru planned parenthood which was also pretty much free. They even helped after I miscarried and needed a DNC that I couldn't pay for. I was really shocked that the pro life CPC was so harsh and yet the very pro choice planned parenthood was the place that really helped a VERY needy girl.

Life never fails to prove me wrong. One day I hope to quit prejudging

[mj77]

I was very thankful to CPC which renamed out here to Pregnancy Resouse Center. When I was younger and hoping to be pregnant I'd utilized them (a lot). I knew they were pro baby. I know too that they encouraged scared moms by offering to help out with clothing and stuff if they needed it and wanted to keep their babies. I saw women get bags of clothes which I'm sure were a great blessing. For moms that wanted to place they referred some at least one agency to work with (at least that was what I was told). They are pro-life, but I don't see anything wrong with that but felt it was rather responsible of them. Sad to hear some have had bad experiences. I was thankful to the ladies that helped me and encouraged me in my pursuit to be a mommy by adoption.

[DeNaJa]

I have worked closely with my area CPC...it is a medical center and is extrememly professional and efficient. They have 6 offices currently and are merging to open more. THey run on donations and volunteers. The doctors and ultrasound techs donate their time. THey have parenting classes, support groups, mentoring programs, access to housing and transportation, continuing education, a "store" where women earn "money" when they complete certain parenting class requirements (cribs, car seats, furniture, clothes, etc...) so women feel they are earning...dignity! They also give away lots of formula, diapers, wipes, clothes, baby and maturnity outfits, etc... medical care, plug into existing resources available in the community, help with adoption should the woman desire to place, and post abortion help for women suffering after an abortion decision. All this they offer a woman for free and on a much smaller budget than the multi-billion dollar a year Planned Parenthood Federation. Nothing they offer is at a profit so they do not have a financial stake in the woman's decision. On the flip side, if a woman is counseled at an abortion clinic, the clinic will profit should she abort and lose money if she does not. One would think the bias or at least potential for bias is obvious. I have also worked with the CPC and maturnity home in my current town and with a maturnity home that a woman I met in a crisis pregnancy ended up staying in. She and other woman were able to stay the duration of their pregnancy and 6 weeks post delivery. The home helped find permenant housing for her and her son and helped with job placement, childcare so she could return to school, and many other practical needs. All free. All her food, utilities, clothing, baby care items...all were free. They helped her with medical also. She was not a citizen at the time, so she didn't have available what a citizen would, so they filled the gap. They also offered accurate fetal development information. I have heard OVER and OVER and OVER again how women are lied to about the fetus, especially in the 1st trimester. This is wrong to do. I have read stories on line about women who were told it was just a clump of cells. I personally know women who were told the fetus was just a blood clot or some tissue. My daughter's birth mom was told that at 20 weeks, her baby was not formed yet. So many women have aborted and them been broken to later learn of the deception...especially when they get pregnant with a "wanted" child and they get a pregnancy book or their OB gives them pamphlets and they see the ultrasound (which the clinic wouldn't let my daughter's birth mom see). How can there be choice when women are lied to? How can they speak of choice when they don't trust women with the information to make an educated decision? So many women have told me that they were pressured to abort by their counselor...that abortion was their solution...their only real choice. My daughter's birth mom was not told her options or the risks or anything really about the procedure. She was pressured by the clinic and told "no one will want a bi-racial, rapist's baby" when she expressed an interest in adoption. When she still hesitated they told her if she did not consent to the abortion, she would die. Not might die...not high risk...she WOULD die. So, convinced she would die having a baby no one would even want, she agreed to the second trimester abortion she didn't even understand. Where was the choice???

On the flipside, she did eventually go to a CPC in her state and was offered much support and assistance. She, obviously, decided to place after getting information about open adoption. AFTER she was given accurate fetal development information, was told her risks and options, and had the procedure explained to her, she chose NOT to abort. Think of what would have happened if she had gotten the accurate information AFTER she had the abortion. What would that do to a young woman? The clinic didn't even tell her she had been given chlamydia by her attacker when they did the STD test on her before they started her abortion. They NEVER contacted her. I feel, as a woman, this is a vital bit of information necessary to make an informed decison on whether or not to go forward with the abortion, considering chlymidia can make you sterile, if interduced into a raw womb and if left untreated. They never bothered to tell her. When she began prenatal care, her OB told her and treated the disease. Another friend of mine had a terrible experience at another abortion clinic in her state. The abortionist made sexual comments to her. She was to be awake during the 2nd trimester abortion. The did the blood test, but didn't tell her till after the abortion when she was in and out of consciousness (passed out at least 5 times) that she was Rh negative and if the blood of her baby mixed with hers, she would miscarry futrue wanted pregnancies. They KNEW before the abortion she did not have the extra money for the shot the recommended because she didn't have the money to be put to sleep. Once again, withholding information necessary to make an educated choice! No money? No shot. They sent her, hemorraging into her shoes, to walk to the bus stop. She returned 5 minutes later, bleeding and terrified. They had locked the doors. They never called a doctor or squad. She ended up telling her mother, who she was having the abortion to hide the pregnancy from, and was taken to the emergancy room for treatment and her mom paid for the necessary shot. They do not know if she will be able to have children. She aborted approx. 6 years ago and she still regrets it. The clinic reenforced her fears instead of finding out how she could be helped. No one ever told her she could have her son. They brought her abusive boyfriend in tohelp her feel more trapped...similarly, the clinic brought my daghter's birth mom's mother in to enforce the decision to abort. When asked if this is what she wanted she said yes because she was afraid not to! The person coersing the decision was right there!!! What was she suppose to say...NO, my mom (my boyfriend, husband, abuser, boyfirend's mother, etc...) is making me do this? No one ever gave her accurate fetal development information either. No one explained anything other than that she needed to bring $1300 and needed to hurry and get it done as soon as possible.

To me, it is obvious that one side stands to profit financially from an abortion decision and the other side is offering free practical help and services to women to help make continuing the pregnancy a viable option. WHen was the last time an abortion clinic or a Planned Parenthood offered anything other than abortion and birth control (at a fee to either the woman or the taxpayer) except MAYBE some free condoms (and PP's condoms in a Consumre Reports test were rated the worst with the highest failure rate!?).

http://www.mensnewsdaily.com/archive...parenthood.htm

Consumer Reports released their findings on condoms in a February 2005 comparison report of 23 condoms available for purchase, including popular name brands like Trojan, Durex, and Lifestyles, as well as those distributed for free by Planned Parenthood.

The Planned Parenthood Lollipop, Assorted Colors, and Honeydew condoms were found to be among the worst for preventing unwanted pregnancies and were the only condoms to receive a poor rating by Consumer Reports.


One side is a for-profit (non-profit) that makes a lot of money selling pills, shots, services and abortion. The other is a non-profit that offers everything free. So many times I have heard women say they "have to have an abortion", usually for financial reasons, but sometimes just because they do not realize there is help available. Once their needs are met, they no longer feel they have to abort. They realize they can continue the pregnancy and parent or place the child...and they will have help every step of the way. One side offers a 5-20 minute long "solution" at a fee and once done, sends the woman home. The other side is a minimum of a 9 month commitment where there is no quick fix...it is time, money, etc...all freely given to help a woman in need. In my case, we adopted to provide an option to a scared, pressure, 13 year old rape victim. We wanted to do EVERYTHING we could do to help her, including raising a special needs child and loving this child for the rest of her life...and loving her birth mom also! There is a huge difference between PP and CPCs. I know which one I support and exactly why.